Posted by
ent lawyer
at
6:45 AM
Labels: blind item
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53 comments:
Ben
Tatum
Or Damon
Damon with the college age girl I fear
So many choices.
the mile high club is a serious thing, yo
I agree with Sandy - probably the tater.
Matt or Ben. Don't see Tatum as almost A+ (God I hope not). Sad whoever it is.
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Matt and Ben are A+. This is Tatum, and I cringe as well as that he that high in ranking. ick.
I think Tatum, after Magic Mike he could be almost A.
I think this would say Oscar nominee/winner if Matt or Ben.
I think it's Tatum. Damon wouldn't do something like that. His career and his family are too important to him. Tatum is young and reckless.
I'd rather smoke a bunch of weed on the drive to the airport and nap on the flight than have a broad jack me off the whole time.
@Count
I don't believe you
@Joy: I give me a better hand job than any broad can give me.
Seriously Count? You telling us you'd turn down a handy given the chance? That would certainly be better than that.5 of your 1.5x masturbating. I would think at least.
@count
now THAT I believe! I always feel inept doing it.
good point...
Count, is that why H is not an option in your rating system? (Only P, M,and B)
@writer ..true..but I said Damon because I remember a blind weeks ago about an almost A+actor that had a serious younger sidepiece(college gal) and he was in danger of having to pay out A TON in child support...
Sounded like Damon
Hope it wasn't the airplane blankie.
I second this
@Sherry: Yeah. I'm not 14, so just having a chick touch my pecker aint gonna do much for me.
@Joy: Only time a hand job is any good is if the chick taps out cause the cooch got wore out and sore. And even then Handy alone is kinda lame. Should be something like this (NSFW) or this (NSFW).
@Haywood: Yeah, pretty much. Sometimes I do make mention something like, "I would rather sniff ________'s hindquarters than bone the rest." and that is just about me fappin.
I defend him because I've hung out with him - years ago mind you. He's very unassuming and humble. And extremely smart. That said, he is human. He could very well be capable of it. He just doesn't seem the type.
Tatum because he was alone at Toronto fest
McConaughey's been filming in Boston but keeps getting seen in Austin on weekends at UT's embarrassing football matches. Doubt if he takes the regular flight. He got interviewed at a baseball game in Boston and said his son had to go back to Austin a week later because school was starting, so looks like he's on his own.
So he has all this money and resources, yet they meet on a plane for half ass sex? Hope it was chartered plane, no one else wants to look at that.
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LOL @Haywood!
Matt and Ben aren't "almost A+". I don't think the Charming Potato is, either, but then again, we all know E plays fast and loose with the ratings. (Hi, Kate!)
Guess what terrifies the Charming Potato? Porcelain dolls!
I thought Damon was the BI a while ago who was in love with his best friend's wife or S/O -- can't remember which exactly....I took that to mean Damon/Affleck/Garner
And I agree, Damon or Affleck would already be A+, not almost A+. And Channing, IMHO, doesn't fit the bill either.
@WritergirlinLA - I have never seen such a strident and passionate personal recomendation of Count Jerkula in all my time on this site. Bravo! I never would have thought that's the type of human he is just from his written missives. Quite a tremendous defense.
Oh, were you writing about Matt Damon?
@seven every cheating blind is charming potato now lol. It use to be Ben being also picked.
If you go by other blinds revealed charming potato is already label A+
May 20, 2014
"This C+list mostly television actress is so jealous when it comes to her A+ list mostly movie actor husband that she calls or texts him almost every ten minutes while he is out of town away from her. She will do this even while he is sleeping to make sure he is sleeping alone.
Jenna Dewan"
So make ya mind up is he A+ or almost.
LMao at matt damon not being able to do that. He had he had Latin lover for while.
@Dragon, you know it! And he's called "mostly movie", but has only done two tv spots - an episode of the Simpsons (where he voices himself) and a role on CSI early in his career.
Now doesn't that make you wonder - was she calling and texting the whole time he was receiving an airplane freebie?
Wahlberg or Taterhead Tatum
@seven maybe because he produces? But yeah He's already A+ going by other blinds.
and She's probably good at multitasking. So do you girl!
I would hope that Matt Damon isn't this stupid
Tatum seems like more of the type
Jenna is gonna stab a bitch
Wasn't this a blind item less than a week ago? I could swear I just read this recently....
Enty describes both Taterhead and The Armoire from Down Under as A-list, but he also gives Seth Rogen the same ranking and Rogen's done more TV than either of the other two. He's been filming in New York.
@Count Jerkula
I would like feedback, please.
This blind item sent me looking for that Two Girls and a Guy sex scene. So, many thanks Enty.
Brad Pitt
@Count, I felt bad because the Opster actually enjoys them. Then I opened your link and I can attest to why. One of those techniques is used. It's not your 14 yr old teenager handy!
I thought Tatum was an A+ (in Enty's book, not mine) in previous blinds.
Matt Damon is probably forever A+.
Ben Stiller maybe? He just left TIFF last night I think.
@Yoj: All I get outta that article is there are schmucks paying $200 for a handy, and how pathetic that is. If all I'm offered at a massage joint is a handy, I'm puttin my clothes on and leaving.
In dating, if a chick is over 15y/o and offering a handy, I'd laugh at her. A buddy of mine had one like that a couple years ago. 28 y/o braod, 3rd date hickies and a hand job. I told him he should delete her number, and of course he didn't. Then she went Stage 5 clinger on him and he broke it off.
As I said before, handjobs should be a last resort, and probably w/ some assplay going on. Sometimes a dude locks up and ya gotta hit that fire button hidden up his ass. Just be gentle on his cornhole.
Assplay is pretty standard with BJ's and HJ's, right? Stick a finger up there, toss some salad, it's all good. As long as it's clean it's not any worse than sucking dick and I don't see why people are so grossed out by it. Not that I ever waste time on hand jobs because like you say Count, it's pretty lame and a last resort.
@Count Jerkula
Thank you, Count. You never let me down. To my dying day, I will remember the "fire button hidden up his ass".
I'm relieved to know that I'm not expected to become adept at yet another sexual skill. You wouldn't believe the amount of research I've done (well, actually, you probably would believe it); porn and manuals and seminars. You see, I went eight years without sex because of illness and I'd lost my confidence. It never occurred to me to study hand jobs, though. Plus, I have weak wrists.
@Astra: Depends on the dude. Some are scared of the butt and think a broad touching em there will make em gay. My though is if yer that worried about getting turned gay, yer prolly already 1/2 way there.
Yeah, I don't see what the big hang up is, as long as it is clean. Just another natural way for two people to express their love and become closer to each other.
Keep baby wipes on ya, just in case. Anti bacterial wipes will leave a residue that makes yer tongue sting/numb.
@Yoj: The prostate works, just be gentle on the second ring of the anus. That is the involuntary one. Light pressure when it squeezes down and it will eventually swallow your finger.
@Count Jerkula
Now you tell me?!?! My whole hand's gone numb!! Just tell me how to get it out so I can get rid of this guy.
I refuse to believe than a married guy would be "getting more serious by the day" with a chick that can't figure out how to properly service him. The chick needs to get her face in his lap or else mount up and ride. If she's too modest for that route then they need to get to the bathroom stat. Hell, his wife could give him a hand job with no happy ending.
@Yoj: If he clamped down that tight, then you are probably going to have to gnaw yer hand off. Hop that aint the one you use for bean flickin.
@Count Jerkula
Never mind "bean flickin", I have to go to work in four hours! It's hard enough getting a seat on the tube train as it is. On the up side, my ventriloquism has improved (the slightest move of my hand and he screams bloody murder).
Count.. Educational as always
You.. Hang in there
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