Thursday, May 10, 2007

Jackass v. Kindness

JACKASS

So, this former sex siren, aging B list actress on a hit network show was at a MAC Cosmetics recently. Well the brand new clerk recognized our actress and was very much wanting to help and make a big sale. Our actress proceeded to spend almost an hour with the clerk. Our actress wanted to try everything. She refused to use any of the testers on the counter and made the clerk open brand new packages of several different bottles of perfume. When the clerk began to say that she didn't know if she could do that, our actress did the "Don't you know who I am routine?" and that the store always let her do it because she spends so much money there.

Our actress then proceeded to try every kind of makeup and perfume imaginable until there was a pile of about 40 different items all opened and worth about $3000. At about this time the boyfriend of our actress shows up and our actress tells the clerk she has to go. The boyfriend asks if she's going to buy anything and the actress says, "Nope. It's all junk. I was just killing time waiting for you." With that, the actress walked out the door. Luckily, the clerk didn't get fired and now the actress is banned from the store.

KINDNESS

**This one came to me yesterday, is barely blind and will probably be public before the end of the day so guess quickly.**

So this once married singer and his girlfriend were getting on the elevator at their apartment when an older gentleman was coming out. As the gentleman exited the elevator, he stopped, grabbed his chest and fell down in front of them. The man managed to whisper to the singer that he had left his medication in his apartment. Our singer grabbed the keys and headed to the apartment while his girlfriend dialed 911. Our singer came back and gave the elderly man a pill and stayed with him until the paramedics arrived. The man was hospitalized overnight and then released.

72 comments:

Anonymous said...

jackass = Nicholette Sheridan.

Anonymous said...

Nick and Vanessa for #2?

mookie said...

1-vanessa williams
2-sooooo nick l.

Anonymous said...

who ever the b-friend is he must either have no shame or be using her for connections...
because both my brothers and all their friends and my guy friends would have convinced her to pay for the stuff, or at least half of it... that is disgusting
i cannot be near people like that... sounds like it must be pam anderson, but she is on the MAC payroll so i cannot imagine her having to go into a shop... i wouls think all the latest stuff would be sent to her automatically... if it is pam, thank gawd she didnt use the tesyers on the counter...ewww she has every disease known to man...

Anonymous said...

mookie
ya think nick would condone that behavior... he seems like a nice guy

Anonymous said...

I'm torn between Teri Hatcher and Vanessa Williams. Both seem like they could be jackasses.

Anon 12:27 good guess. I forgot Nick was a singer. How that happen?

TB

Anonymous said...

oops sorry, i see you mean for kindness... my bad

Anonymous said...

I was thinking Terri Hatcher too.

Anonymous said...

#2 is totally Nick & Vanessa

Not too sure about #1 yet.

-JMe

Anonymous said...

it's already in
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272613252.shtml

it's nick!

mookie said...

anon 12:42, no honey...i think you read wrong. it's b/c i think nick l. IS a nice guy that he's got my vote for #2...as in the second BI (the kindness one).

Anonymous said...

i understand it is newsworthy, but really people
who would ever have walked away from that scene? who wouldn't have fled to get his meds...
i venture to think even lilo and ebola would have done the same... no? i mean its not an act of kindness, its an act of human-ness

Anonymous said...

Sound to me like the subject of #1 wouldn't bother to stop and help. She sounds barely human.

Anonymous said...

Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton -- the latter is so verrrrry capable of this.

Anonymous said...

Jackass vs kindness

1.Nic(olette) and 2.Nick Lachey:)

Anonymous said...

I'm 1:12p -- sorry, I meant Sheridan & Bolton for the "Jackass" (#1?) entry.

Anonymous said...

Morgan Fairchild for #1

Anonymous said...

Duh, Anon 1:00pm. What I meant was good guess for #2. I was giving you props. But next time I'l spell it out for you, okay honey?

TB

Anonymous said...

I thought Nicollette was engaged, so because ENT used "boyfriend" I don't think it's her.

B :) said...

Jenny McCarthy - Jackalope


Nick Lachey - mensch

Anonymous said...

1 pm Anon:

I agree that it's an act that most normal people would consider to be an everyday part of being a human being, but we're talking about celebrities here, many of whom live in their own vacuous, self-centred world, where helping others is done only if it makes for a good photo-op. Within that context, what Nick did absolutely qualifies as "kindness" and is noteworthy, as its so unusual.

And for the record, I doubt that either Paris or Lilo would have done anything, as they would be too self-involved to even hear the man whispering to them. They likely would have just yelled for their handlers to "do something because ewww, it's grosss!!"

Or maybe I'm just cynical.

BTW, my guess for #1 is Teri Hatcher. I think the DH references are on the right track, but only TH has a "boyfriend" - the rest are either married or engaged.

Anonymous said...

Heather Lockwood for #1.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:13--do you mean Heather LockLEAR?

And to anon 1:12;

You said:
"Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton -- the latter is so verrrrry capable of this."

I think you mean the FORMER, ie Nicolette Sheridan is capable of this. The "latter" would be Michael Bolton, since you mentioned him AFTER Nicolette.

Grammar and syntax are your friends--don't treat them like you don't know them.

Anonymous said...

Lockwood?

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I can't get over calling someone a "sex siren." Seriously? Who comes up with stupid things like that? No Ent, wasn't the first - I'm just saying.

Crabby GGA

WTF said...

No way in heck would Paris or Hohan help anyone.

Anonymous said...

Terry Hatcher a former sex siren? Not in this lifetime. It's most likely Nicolette. And are you kiddin...Paris would pretend to talk on her cell phone so she wouldn't have to deal with anything messy, and LL would be too freaking stoned to notice there was someone one the ground. If it was Nick and Vanessa...good on them for being human.

Anonymous said...

Heather Locklear is considered one of the nicest people in showbiz. I've never heard one single word against her...not one.

Anonymous said...

Yes in this lifetime. Before Despearte Housewives, when she was in Lois and Clark with Dean Cain. Everybody wanted to bone her. She's a former bond gir and she's even on FHM's sexiest list of this year. Don't hate cuz you didn't think of her first 3:26 PM. :P

TB

romc said...

i agree with anon 3:49, heather locklear is considered one of the nicer folks in hollywood (though that may be faint praise).

it is more likely heather's homewrecker ex-friend denise richards.

Anonymous said...

I def think Vanessa Williams for jackass.
Sounds like Nick and Vanessa for Nice Guys.
Lindz might help someone. NO WAY would Parasite!!!
-- kellygrrrl

Melissa said...

TB, there was another person who posted at the same time as you. A little reading will show you that that is the person they were talking to.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:24:

"Grammar and syntax are your friends--don't treat them like you don't know them."

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

I immediately thought Nicolette.

I can't believe someone's correcting grammar on a celebrity blog. Maybe you need to join a literacy forum.

Anonymous said...

I thought the same thing. Maybe they forgot where they are. They should follow me around correcting mine it would be an all day job. And they are appearently in need of something to do. OH MY GOD, I started a sentence with and.

Melissa said...

Though this sounds a lot like Nicolette (gee, hope I didn't spell her name wrong) she is enganged so I am pretty certain Ent would not have said boyfriend.
That's just my theory. I am going to keep searching around.

Anonymous said...

You could be right Melissa. I'm sure there are other former sex sirens on network shows other than Desperate Housewives.

bionic bunny! said...

4:36-
don't forget that danling participle!! LOL!!

pammy popped into my brain while reading #1.

and those that question the kindness....
i've seen things happen where people don't want to get involved. LOTS of times. i once gave a strange man a ride home after he crashed his fiero on the mountain road, even though i was on my way to an event. i'm NOT blowing my own horn, the point i'm making is that it was rush hour, and nobody else even stopped.
on the other hand, mr. bunny had a horrific accident on the same road, and a couple not only stopped, but the wife called me at home to let me know. wish i'd gotten her name.
once again, TMI.
sorry.

Anonymous said...

Best Line ever from Cheers...

Sam: "Diane, do you realize you just ended that proposition with a preposition?"

schoolhouse rocks!:)

James

Anonymous said...

Heather Locklear also is not on a hit TV show right now...

theflock07 said...

If it were Nicolette wouldn't they at least mention her boyfriend is famous?

Anonymous said...

oh crap, my paticiple is dangling.

Anonymous said...

#1. Nicollete Sheridan
#2. Nick Lachey

Dorothy said...

Nick really is a nice guy... think how much patience he had to live with Jessica.

#1 - I haven't a clue. I thought MAC had pretty good products, so who would be snobby enough to disagree? I must say the boss was nice to not fire the employee, who probably felt horrible.

Dorothy said...

Urgh! Bunny, I meant to add that I totally agree. I am saddened - daily - on how people behave. I think many people would call 911, but not many would race to his apt for meds.

I believe in karma!

CarolinefromOz said...

I'm throwing in Kim Catrall for the Jackass, she fits perfectly dontcha think?

PS - TB, are you from the UK?

Melissa said...

You guys are a hoot. I love reading the comments here it always brightens my day.
Okay, enough ass kissing, I looked and I am tired of looking (though I really didn't look that hard) and I guess Nicolette (sp? you would think I would know how by now)is the best answer. I cannot find a better one therefore I am done.
PS- feel free to tell me I suck and punctuate incorrectly. I have tough skin :-)

Amanda said...

Teri Hatcher for number one?

Anonymous said...

Teri Hatcher it is indeed

Check her IMDB entry
"The Love Boat" (1977) TV Series .... Amy, Loveboat Mermaid (unknown episodes, 1985-1986)

Mermaid=siren

Anonymous said...

Grammar and syntax are your friends--don't treat them like you don't know them.

best line o the day... maybe month

Anonymous said...

Jackass = Rebecca Romaine

Anonymous said...

Oh gee wizz. Better not say "latter" when you mean "former" or you get the snarky, overblown and completely unwarranted wrath of a regular.

sahm said...

Since this has already gotten out of control - isn't it possible that anon1:12 actually meant to say latter? Perhaps s/he meant that Micheal Bolton was capable of putting up with that from Nicolette? Just an observation because that's what I thought when I read it. But I'm also not a member of the grammar police - so it's possible I'm wrong. :)

sahm said...

Since this has already gotten out of control - isn't it possible that anon1:12 actually meant to say latter? Perhaps s/he meant that Micheal Bolton was capable of putting up with that from Nicolette? Just an observation because that's what I thought when I read it. But I'm also not a member of the grammar police - so it's possible I'm wrong. :)

sahm said...

Woops - sorry for the double post.

B :) said...

I still think it's Jenny McCarthy.

any thoughts?

schneefloeckli said...

Best part of the article about Nick & Vanessa:
And get this - In an ironic twist, it turns out he’d actually lobbied against Nick and Vanessa moving in because he’d feared loud parties, etc.- but now raves about the couple, calling them “my heroes!”

Anonymous said...

What hit network show is Jenny on?

michele

Anonymous said...

I was actually in the store in question. It was Marion Ross.

kchal said...

SAHM - that was how I read the 1:12 comment too

ps to Anon @ 1:48 I'm a 'regular' but don't feel the need to correct grammer - although your comment kind of sounds "snarky, overblown and completely unwarranted wrath" -Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black???

B :) said...

She only had guest app. my bad

Anonymous said...

marion ross...
hahahahahah

good one!
michele

Anonymous said...

I think Teri Hatcher.
She was a mermaid= siren in Love Boat in the 80th.
She is now aging in DH and has a boyfriend.

434 said...

No way it is Teri Hatcher. I am thinking someone way outta the lime light. Random piece of ass.

mookie said...

anon 7:35am: *trying to picture marion ross as having a b/f*

heehee.

hedda said...

#2: Definitely not a BI as Celebrity Mound posted this two days ago from the National Enquirer. Saying "others" will making this public is Bulls**t as "others" posted this before the writer here.

drcocks said...

Oh great, a blog mom correcting spelling, grammar, etc. What is it like in your perfect world? Do you roll your eyes when you encounter someone less perfect than yourself?

Anonymous said...

What about Jeri Ryan or Marg Helgenberger.

Anonymous said...

no kchal. My comment was neither overblown or unwarranted. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Further to my post above, my remark may well have been snarky but frankly im tired of certain people being completely rude to other posters who are trying to make an honest and genuine contribution to the forum. Manners go a long way, you know. Show some class.

Anonymous said...

Terri Hatcher was one of the dance girls on the Love Boat series and became the "star"/siren of certain men's eyes and was quickly promoted to bigger parts in the sitcom.

Midwest Surfer

I surf for the tranquility...there seems to be alot of static on this wave.

Julie said...

I could see Nicolette OR Teri (but does Teri even have a bf?). Especially because they called MAC makeup junk. It probably didn't cover up all the lines/wrinkles, and somewhat accentuated them. srsly. mac is good for covering up blemishes and such, but its so thick and cakey it makes everything look magnified.

and i guess the kindness came out. I'm happy it was Nicessa(Michey? whats their nickname?) I figure him to be pretty down to earth. But I don't know anything about her.