Friday, July 25, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

OK, was going to do the Blind Vice story on the Academy Award-friendly actress who thinks her cats can read, which is why she has their names written on their separate litter boxes, but that tale simply pales in comparison to Toothy Tile, who’s back and gayer than, like, ever! Dude’s losin’ his recent, overly prissy, shy shit and gettin’ his non-Nellie nerve back on (much to everyone’s surprise, just not mine).

See, ol’ Tooth, our fave partner in sex-in-public crime is being just as brazen, only with words, not his crotch. The pretty boy (man, on occasion) is gleefully telling more than a few gossipy girls—which means boys, natch, in highly exaggerated fagola speak, but then, I’m sure you already knew that, hon-cakes—that he’s quite aware the hunt for his identity is on. And has been for sometime. Says he enjoys it, even. Who wouldn’t, really? Especially if you’re dead certain your identity will never be revealed. Yep, that’s right.

T2 says he’s havin’ such a fab gay ol’ experience of it all because he’s “sure,” as it’s been relayed to this columnist, that the true identity of Mr. Tile will never, ever be discussed by yours truly. Oh, really? Is that so?

Just don’t count on it, bud. What with the myriad lies to the public (I mean, really, you’re as bad about your true sexual persuasion as Cathy Douglas is with her age), you're on thin vice, babe, so watch it.

64 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Sounds like Ted made a pass at Jake and was shot down.....

Flora said...

"Thin vice", heh-heh.

captivagrl said...

streep with the smart kitties

valentina said...

Whoopi for the cat box lady.

If I was going to apply "toothy" to a male celeb, I'd say Tommy Girl.

Marisa said...

It's "Uncle Toothy" to Reese's kids

captivagrl said...

if it's not jake, maybe orlando

Marnie said...

Slow news week.

Somebody ship more hookers and blow to Hollywood, so they start providing us with entertainment again.

*Miss_P* said...

I know everyone seems to think that Toothy Tile is Jake Gillywhatsit but could the 'thin vice' comment not refer to Miami Vice? - Jamie Fox or Colin Farell?

Just a thought

amster said...

I also think toothy is Tommy Girl.

Holly the freelance foodie/movie critic said...

Tom Cruise, Jamie Fox, and Orlando Bloom have all been ruled out...

misskatie said...

@ marnie....heehee..made me smile!

libby said...

yes, I understand how Hollywood works, with its leading-man stereotype one has to cultivate, but I always feel so sorry for people who feel they have to stay closeted.

I want it not to be Jake, and I want his and Reese's relationship to be real.

You may say I'm a dreamer...

Sarah said...

On the Awful Truth website a lot of people had guessed Matthew McConaughey - any thoughts on the merit of this guess? Please be kind - I'm a rookie poster...

Love the site, love the comments, and love the blind item reveals! I'm hooked!!

Marisa said...

Ladies and dudes, it's definitely Jake Gyll. Top editor at "Kneepads" confirmed this.

jax said...

i have and always will think its Jake.

i don't beleive for a second this BS thing with Reese.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

@miss p: Probably not a "Miami Vice" reference. Ted refers to his blind items as "Blind Vices"; I think the "thin vice" comment is just a play on words, not a hint.

@sarah: Ted's been gossiping about Toothy Tile for years now. The primary suspects were always Gyllenhaal and Bloom (if memory serves). This came about because number of people on Defamer (back when they used to post Ted's blinds) took all the Toothy blinds and cross-referenced the "And it's not..." names to see who Ted had ruled out.

I'm honestly not sure whether Matt McC was ever on the "and it's not" list for one of these.

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if Ted has directly outed Jake as Toothy by putting Bloom on the "it's not" list (per holly's comment above).....

(Wow... I can't believe that I'm turning myself into some sort of Ted Casablanca scholar... How pathetic and sad of me.)

Holly the freelance foodie/movie critic said...

Marisa, do you have a link to the confirmation? The signs do point to him, but I so don't want it to be him! :)

gillian said...

marisa- when did you get 'confirmation' about jake g? Is your source reliable?

How come everyone's so sure jakey g is gay? Although if he is, it kinda explains why he hung around with kirsten 'got flees?' dunst- beard!

gillian said...

re matt mcconaughey, I don't buy it. He could be, but that dude already has the hippie vibe/persona on his side. It seems like this toothy tile is someone we'd all go 'no. way.' to.

firestorm888 said...

Jake G. hasn't been in anything big recently. Robert D. Jr.? Ashton K.? Will Smith?

I'm going to go with Will Smith.

Wouldn't Ted make some pun out of Gylllenyall's last name if it were him? And Smith DOES have a toothy smile - shark like... kinda like tiles... anyone? Marisa? Link?

Love the site Enty.

firestorm888 said...

Tom C. is very tooth-y - tile-like - it it too obvious? He DOES like to throw his weight around, bluster-y stylee....

I'm just sayin'...

amster said...

I am having a hard time believing it is Jake. You would think if his and Reese's relationship wasn't real, she wouldn't involve her kids in the charade. My favorite guesses are Tom C., Will and maybe Hugh Grant. He was caught with a hooker, isn't that a vice?

heather said...

did ted c rule out will smith?

Sara said...

Ah, rookies.

Your comments are refreshing, but anyone who's been following the celeb gossip for awhile knows that TT is most definitely Jake Gyllenhall.

Just take our word for it and try not to hurt yourselves :)

ali said...

Here's a list I found from July 2007:

NOT: Tobey Maguire, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx, Orlando Bloom, Usher, Ben Affleck, Michael Vartan, Vin Diesel, Elijah Wood, Jared Leto, Julian McMahon, Justin Timberlake,Tom Cruise, Hayden Christensen, James Franco, Will Smith, Val Kilmer, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Chris Klein, Wentworth Miller, Chad Michael Murray, Zach Braff, Jesse Metacalf, Lance Bass, Ricky Martin, Aaron Eckhart, Christian Bale, Josh Lucas, Josh Duhamel, Ben Mackenzie, Adam Brody, Ryan Cabrera, Topher Grace, Sean William Scott, Seth Green, Brandon Davis, Josh Hartnett, Rob Thomas, Joaquin Phoenix, Scott Speedman,Danny Bonaduce, Isaiah Washington, Vince Vaughn, Dane Cook, Mario Lopez, Matthew Perry,Neil Patrick Harris, George Clooney, Clay Aiken, John Stamos, Harry Hamlin, David Schwimmer, Gerard Butler, Shane West,Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Peter Sarsgaard

farleece said...

I agree that by "not'ing" Orlando and Wentworth, Ted's basically sayin it's Jakey. They were the other possible Toothy's left. And Will Smith never fit the profile. Toothy was allegedly living with his long-term bf and nearly going to adopt at one point, I thought.

beyondseattle said...

thank you Ali, I was looking for that list. He has basically already outed him. Reese and Jake are a scam. i was just saying the other night how in old hollywood,before internet or paparazzi, stars could project nearly any image they wanted. Couples that we now know were gay, and arranged marriges would invite magazines to take photos of their staged seemingly perfect life.

Lucky777 said...

Irony:
Ted Casablanca using the phrase
"in highly exaggerated fagola speak", talking about someone other than himself.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

I think that Ted did a post right after Heath Ledger died that pretty much made it impossible to think that TT wasn't JG, too. Don't have time to hunt down the link, though -- sorry.

Ayesha said...

See, I can totally go with Jake being TT, but I can't understand why Reese would agree to be his beard. She seems to have her head on pretty straight, and she doesn't seem to be in need of money. That's the baffling part.

ea73 said...

The only ones Ted C. hasn't ruled out are Jake G. and Matthew M. They're both good candidates. I used to think it was definitely Jake G. but read some compelling arguments for Matthew M. recently. So...I dunno.

amster said...

I know that Jake has long been thought to be toothy and I used to think so as well. Now I am exporing other posssibilities. Not so much because I don't want it to be Jake, but because I don't want to think that Reese has not only involved herself but her 2 kids in this sham. What is in it for her besides 2 confused kids.

BlahFrickinBlah said...

I'm with ayesha. I don't get what Reese gets out of this deal. She's the bigger star, has an Oscar and I would imagine has more cash than Jake. It doesn't make any sense but maybe she felt the need to not look like some sad case that couldn't get a man after her split with Ryan. I'm reaching here I know! LOL

Mooshki said...

"Somebody ship more hookers and blow to Hollywood, so they start providing us with entertainment again."

LMAO! I think I'm in love with you, Marnie!

Sara said...

a link for those of you who want some more background: Here

Ashlae said...

It's totally Jake but like others I can't believe Resse would agree to beard for him unless he's bearding for her too. LOL!

Sara said...

Also, I just realized that "Cathy Douglas" must be Catherine Zeta-Jones. Prolly the rest of you knew that already?

clara said...

The part that doesn't work is Reese.
She has children and it doesn't make any sense that she would include her kids in anything fake.
I do not think it is Jake.

Jersey Tom said...

Matt M. was born in Texas Toothy Tile was born in Los Angeles as was Jake.

ms_wonderland said...

Thanks for that list Ali. Today's ain'ts are:
Matthew Broderick
Wentworth Miller
Ricky Martin

Ted's running out of 'suspects'!

Brenda22 said...

I have always thought it was Jake.

As for Reese's kids, who knows what's going on behind closed doors? Maybe the fact that he is gay and they are not really in a relationship makes it easier for her to keep him around because then he's stable and not likely to go away when a hollywood relationship Inevitably breaks down. They might just know Jake as the cool uncle and not as mom's boyfriend.

carolyn said...

Uuugh... This whole Toothy thing makes me TIRED. Here's the thing: Any loser (like ME, for instance) who's read about Mr. Tile since the very first "Toothy" blind (more than THREE years ago!), and who's obsessed over the DOZENS of "hints", follow-ups, eliminations, and outright CONFIRMATIONS from Mr. Casablanca (and others) since then -- knows that Toothy Tile = JAKE GYLLENHAAL.

Done. Cooked. Over. ....My sympathies to those of you who soooooo don't want it to be true. (Hey, I'm still P.O.'ed about Nate Berkus!) If it makes you feel any better, it seems that Jakee's a wee bit "bi"...or at least he thought he was for a while.

But before anybody starts with the: "But what about...?" or "How do you know?"... Sorry - I may be a loser, but I'm a BUSY loser. I don't have time to go back through THREE YEARS (and 4 months) of this crap to recreate the whole saga for you. However, if you've got an extra hour on your hands, just google the ORIGINAL "Toothy" blind: "One Adorable Blind Vice" from March 10, 2005. Then, backtrack through the COUNTLESS "toothy" entries, clues, guesses, eliminations, and unbelievable OBVIOUSNESS that's appeared since then. Believe me, by the time you're through, you'll be gift-wrapping a (fabulous) GAY PRIDE t-shirt for Mr. Gyllenhaal. :)

FYI: To save time, you may just want to peruse one of the numerous blind-item forums (i.e., Fanchitchat.com and gossiprocks.com) that hashed it all out & nailed Mr. G. as "Toothy" YEARS ago... Fanchitchat.com even marked it as a SOLVED ITEM! (Yep, that's a link.)

You're welcome. :)

califblondy said...

First off, I'm on the Jake is TT train as well.

Secondly, why is it so hard to believe Reese would hang out with a Gay man? If anything, it proves she is one smart woman who has possibly given her kids a father figure or maybe just a good friend for life. I've always said I'd get married again if I could marry a Gay guy. Reese has the best of both worlds and doesn't have to give it up at the end of the night. What's wrong with that? After a bad divorce she deserves to be happy and if it's with a good friend who tells her what shoes to wear, then I say, good for her!

sandman said...

the reese thing makes no sense.

& my god who has the energy to keep up such a facade, its mind boggling

Town Bike said...

I have a theory that whoever this is about (yeah and it's probably Jake) is playing Ted C to see how far it will go. I don't think he's really gay, and I don't think he cares about the speculation.

Ernestine said...

I believe that Toothy is Jake. I also believe that "Toothy Tile" is probably the worst pseudonym that's ever been devised for anyone. I also don't believe anything Ted says. I also don't care about Jake at all. He's almost as boring as his sister (but not half as boring as his beard, admittedly). For all I know, we could find out that Jake prefers Mexican trannies and donkey shows. I truly do. not. give. a. fuck.

The end.

Oh, and is anyone else WAAAY more interested in the actress who labels her cats' shitboxes? Whatever! That's brilliant!

Meryl Streep, maybe? She's always struck me as pretty zany, and you just KNOW she's a cat lady.

adrian said...

I don't think it's Jake--Reese has nothing to gain from this, & wouldn't include her kids in this type of scam after such a bad divorce situation.
Unless she is trying to look desirable after being cheated on. But I don't think she would agree to be a beard to someone who everyone thinks is gay-- I think she would choose someone with a more hetero image if it was just a beard situation.

Mooshki said...

I agree 100% that Toothy Tile is Jake, but I think he & Reese are really in a sexual relationship. After all, even Ted admits that he's just talking lately, not fooling around. For whatever reason, I think he's giving the hetero a shot.

Grace said...

Matthew M. and Mike Meyers are not on those lists -- and Meyers was the guess for that blind about an actor/director who wants to come out of the closet.

I think the kitty litter blind is Kim Basinger -- who did win an Academy award. AND she's known for her obsessiveness with her pets AND for being very looney. I've read her interviews. She seems the type who thinks her cats can read. She's also quite wacky:

"With perhaps too much disposable income, Kim headed up an investment group that purchased the entire town of Braselton, in her native Georgia, for $20 million (she would later have to sell it)."

Ernestine said...

Awww! I love Kim Basinger even more now. Gorgeous, OCD, AND an animal lover!

Oh, and Toothy is totally Jake, you guys. I've known this for years, now, since that's how long Ted's been needling at Jakey's "true" identity. Remember that shot of him on that horse a couple of weeks ago, and he's totally making that uber-fey hand gesture and a stupid face? I THOUGHT he was poking fun at his supposed identity, but I wasn't sure. I mean, Jake HAS to know about this Toothy nonsense. God, if I were him I'm start my own company and call it Toothy Tile Productions, but Ted would probably sue his ass.

Ted thinks that EVERYONE is a raging, closeted homo, though. He's just anxious as shit to out everyone. It's very, very boring and one reason why I don't automatically check Eonline every Friday morning anymore. *yaaawn.*

Ed said...

I think Reese is getting a lot more publicity than people realize. Ryan did her wrong and she needed a romance to show that America should still be in love with her.

Ryan Phillippe wasnt on the not.

redgurl72 said...

Reese kept her sham of a marriage going for years while her husband was up to no good. I'm sure hanging out with Toothy is a whole lot more fun and it made sure she came out of that divorce looking A list.

Dr.Jerkberg said...

Maybe Reese is in this "relationship" with JG because she is the actress who has a woman in common with Angelina Jolie.

Jaiden said...

It's Jake. Even other gossip columnists refer to Jake as Toothy Tile. I still don't get why Reese would be a beard for him, though.

nate said...

Okay, so T2 is Jake G. Now, what do we now about Austin Nichols? Are Austin and Jake still dating?

http://jonathanjaxson.blogspot.com/2007/10/jake-gyllenhaal-and-his-long-time.html

Production Girl said...

At one time Ted mentioned that TT of the same age as Adam Brody (b. 12/15/79) from the show OC. JG was born 12/19/80......which pretty much sealed it for me. I remember reading this when it came out but here is a link to a collection of Q&As from Ted C.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/2890039.html

8/4
Dear Ted:
I think One Confused Blind Vice's Toothy Tile is Adam Brody from The O.C. He has Rachel Bilson, and he's up and coming.
Helen
Canada

Dear Canadian Fakin':
You got that right, sweet stuff, but from what I hear, A.B.'s just up and comin' with R.B., not a handsome young dude. Think more celebrated and certainly more photographed. Right age and looks though.

littlewing said...

ok the thing is one of the times jakey was supposedly outed, he was AT the academy awards when he was supposedly at some west holly eatery with his BF. so...unless our TT is also a freakin' superhero and can be in 2 places at once, then there are a lot of mistaken bloggers out there.

Carmen said...

Bottom line...gossip is worth the paper it's written on. However, I have been told by a source that is very much in demand on the Broadway circuit and beyond, that Reese is, indeed, gay. Which explains why Ryan was kept around and Jake is tolerated. I was also told to take a closer look at her assistant. Would make sense! (PS: Same source told me Anne Hathaway was gay as well.)

Dr.Jerkberg said...

Wasn't there an item once that Reese was introducing her long time friend as her asistant? I could've sworn I read it on this site once...

Dr.Jerkberg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sis said...

There was a rumor in San Diego late last year that MM was going to "come out" for the first time with his boyfriend, there was some sort of hotel opening or something. This was before baby though. Also, I am more intrigued by the Cathy Douglas clue with relation to this blind, I think there is something there.

Katja said...

I thought the Cathy Douglas thing was well known. Someone from Wales who went to school with CZJ made noise about how odd it was that CZJ was 10 years younger than the rest of their classmates. It was even in the tabloids, then it suddenly went away.

califblondy said...

All I know is CZJ has been in her late 30's for what seems like 10 years now. She and Michael told their age difference when they married (what is 29 years?) so I guess if she's younger, he must be too.

Joanna said...

I don't see why it's so hard to believe that Reese would be on board with playing Jake's game. Her sham of a marriage last time around got outed (horribly and publicly, random fact: I've been by the restaurant where he got busted) and she was faced with either a) having to find some random beau to shut up everybody about her betrayed love life b) do a Jennifer Aniston or c) figure some other way out of it. If true, it's actually quite clever. Get a friend who needs to pose as much as you do, have an "uncle" around to help out with the kids, and have zero to little pressure to hook up while getting a ton of publicity. It works especially if she's dating women, too. It also could explain those Kneepads-like articles on engagement rumors and the families not approving. Their families could be sick of the charade just as much as us. :-P

Come on, Jakey! If it's true, a whole set of your fans will just love you even more!