Are All Her Other Dogs Dead? An Open Letter To Doug Reinhardt
Dear Doug,
I know that reading may not be your strong suit, and so if you need someone to help you with the big words, I'm sure you and Paris can sound them out together. I don't mean to be rude, but you not being able to read is the only reasonable assumption a person can make when they see what you got your girlfriend Paris Hilton for her birthday.
Paris told the world that you got her a baby teacup Pomeranian for her birthday. Umm, Doug. Paris has at last count about 42 dogs who after making an initial appearance are never seen from or heard from again. I'm sure when you have been over to her place, you may have noticed the odd smell emanating from her home. You probably thought it was some kind of herpes medication that smells really bad. My guess is that it is the remains of long forgotten dogs and the wasting flesh of old boyfriends from whom Paris has ripped out their souls.
I will say that you and Paris make a nice match and totally deserve each other. She is using you and you are using her so at least you have that in common. I'm glad Amanda Bynes discovered what a tool you were so quickly into your relationship. Her acting career may be in the tank, but at least she still has enough self respect to kick you to the curb. Oh, I'm sure you thought you would play that relationship out and get the publicity and attention you crave so desperately, but all you got was negativity.
Now of course you think you have stumbled upon a goldmine because of all the publicity Paris gets. Have you noticed that it isn't very good publicity? Have you noticed that people laugh at you and mock you? Have you noticed that people try and keep a safe, non disease catching 3 feet away from you at all times now? Have you seen the dog you got her since the day you gave it to her? Have you seen your soul lately? How about your doctor?
EL
16 comments:
He is even a bigger fame whore than she is. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but it is. He's trying to out-Spencer the Pratt. Baaaaaarf.
have you seent he blisters on your peen?
Lol Enty... I hope someone locks the pair of them in Paris's closet and forgets about them. Karma, where are you???
you'll love this ...http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/08/finally-someone-dumber-than-paris/
Dear Doug-
P.S. Your mission, if you choose to accept sleeping with Paris, is to seek medical attention post haste.
Your peen will self destruct in 5 seconds.
From the looks of the video I watched on TMZ.com, he's loving every minute of the attention. Good luck with that, buddy.
OH JAX...LOVE THAT....
Poor dog. They most certainly desrve each other, & all of the std's they are passing back & forth.
"Mensa, party of none." (From TMZ) LOLOL!!!
This is too weird because somehow I stumbled upon his tumblr account today.
http://skeetonmischa.tumblr.com/
I just typed out a big diatribe about how much I hate animal abusers and the turds who enable them, but we all despise this skank, right? I don't need to elaborate.
Again. *Sigh.* I wish you would stop posting about this whore, Enty, but I also realize that this is a forum in which to discuss our hatred of her, so I get it. I do. It's almost cathartic. I imagine us sitting in a circle right now holding hands, drinking shitty coffee from styrofoam cups. It's nice to see that other people dislike her as much as I do.
I just sit here and sweetly smile as I imagine aaaaaallllll the warts and whatnot gently rising aaaaaalllll over Doug's peen. Anyone who dips his wick in Paris's toxic junk deserves karmic genital retribution.
This sounds like a Ted Casablanca blind item!
Daaaaaaaamn! I didn't expect this kind of response!
And yeah, this dude needs to be thrown under a bus for his:
1) Being a willing receptacle for STD's
2) Contributing to to animal abuse; i.e. giving Paris Hilton an animal to care for.
ernestine:
the happy version of that, is all of us sitting around our pool, (the bunny house pool, i mean), sipping margaritias, or whatever floats each of our boats.
i would hope for enty to come, too, but i understand why he can't.
we'll hold hands, sing drunken sailor ditties (mostly to piss off my neighbors) and a multitude of other songs and chants we can think of.
we shall valiantly fight off the pit bulls from next door, keep both the pirate flag AND the american flag flying, and all have a great night (bring tents and sleeping bags, everybody!) at the bunny homestead! whoo-hoo!
what?
Bunny, all you need to do to get Enty to come is sing "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" Mention liquor and you'll reel him in every time. :)
Liquor and bacon. Or liquor and whores:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgSKH3UZ1Uk&feature=related
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