Monday, November 30, 2009

Dear Richard


Dear Richard,

Last week, it seems the United States celebrates some day called Thanksgiving. From what I can tell it is basically an excuse to eat as much food as they possibly can while watching American football and then waddling the next day to a mall to spend all their money. To escape the madness I spent some time in Puerto Rico. A lovely place and all the more so because Virgin doesn't fly there.

On my return to Los Angeles a man was seated next to me who is apparently a film producer. It sounds glamorous, but in Los Angeles everyone who has ever given a dollar to anyone considers themselves a film producer. Well over the course of the flight the man became more and more incoherent. At one point he was just mumbling. Of course I immediately suspected he had eaten some of your airline's food and had been sickened, especially considering the number of trips he took to the bathroom. His wife, a film actress name Brittany Murphy sat next to him throughout the flight and seemed to think that his incoherent babbling was perfectly normal. My they must fly your airline frequently.

Well, his condition alarmed the flight crew enough that when we arrived in Los Angeles paramedics rushed the plane. Oh it was exciting. The lights and the drama. It was then I suspected that perhaps I was in the midst of a movie. I don't know if I have told you previously Richard, but I have dabbled in the theatre. Bit parts to be sure, but it is in the blood. Alas, it turns out there was no production and he was dreadfully ill despite the claims of his horribly bleached blond, puffy lipped wife.

From what I understand, her husband was transported to the hospital.

(Thanks Deedee)

21 comments:

Karmen said...

Bahaha. Love the Dear Richard posts.

selenakyle said...

Love it! Dripping with sarcasm, just perfect!

Nosey Parker said...

It's rumored that they were flying to LA after Britney got fired from a a movie she was filming in Puerto Rico.

canadachick said...

i was so excited to see the Dear Richard, more so to see it was about Brittany's hubbie being dragged off cough (drug overdose )cough

Pookie said...

we were soooooooo due for a dear richard ltr!

but enty, you DO realize that PR celebrates thxgiving (día de acción de gracias), watches nfl football & does black friday, dontcha?

Linnea said...

man. she is so messed up. how can she still have money left? when was the lst time she got a pay check she actually got to keep?

ItsJustMe said...

As for money, I *think* there was a blind somewhere along the way about how she's "rented" out to other men. Something like that.

sunnyside1213 said...

"Brittany Murphy sat next to him throughout the flight and seemed to think that his incoherent babbling was perfectly normal."

Was she stoned too? What an idiot. Another waste of real talent.

Tara said...

Uh...are you saying that Brittany Murphy has real talent? If so, am I missing something?

Love this post. :-)

sunnyside1213 said...

Tara, she used to be pretty good. Loved her in Uptown Girls. Now, she has flushed it away.

Tara said...

I don't know if I would ever call her a great talent, but I definitely agree that she had a pretty promising career and she's messed that up completely.

Unknown said...

:/ I feel bad for Brittany Murphy, I agree with sunnyside, she definitely has talent. She was great in girl interrupted.

I especially liked her as Tai, the work-in-progress Cher & Dionne basically made into a monster in Clueless

Does anyone remember falling ass first down the stairs? Hands down the best part of the movie =)

lutefisk said...

it's hard to figure if I should laugh or feel bad for them.

lutefisk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
libby said...

Yup, I just checked IMBD and "The Caller" is filming in Puerto Rico right now. Brittany is still listed, no word if she was fired.

Too bad if she's off the wagon.

Her hubby probably is a pimp. BM being w that raunchy greasy dude has to have a bad explanation.

Genesis said...

Pienso que vistes una atempcion de assassin...how ever you finish that word lol

sprinkles said...

This is hilarious, Enty!

Wil said...

Hilarious post .. but sad to hear Brittany is apparently gone as far as a career is concerned. Maybe we could set up her scumbag hubby with that scummy Hogan kid?? Joblo has a fascinating post on this issue ... click here if you would like to read it.

B626 said...

How sad would that be to have Chris Kutcher listed as your best boyfriend??

Anonymous said...

No offence but that was just written poorly.

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