Thursday, July 18, 2013

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Are Getting Married - Again - This Weekend - Probably - Maybe



As many times as Jennifer Aniston has been pregnant, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have been scheduled to be married. Yeah, I just laughed at what I wrote. I don't think there has been any story in the history of time that has been repeated more often than Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. Anyway, for the 20th time or so, Brad and Angelina are expected to marry. Apparently now that same sex marriage is allowed, the couple have lost their final excuse not to marry and they met with a wedding planner because you know how that is how they would roll. I think they would just roll up to some place in Vegas with all their kids in the back, and get married. McDonald's after the wedding for everyone except Angelina who would have a packet of pepper and then run around on the playground for two hours trying to burn off the calories from it. Lots of people in their town say the couple is getting married this weekend. Those same people manage to convince a tabloid or two every few months that this weekend is the real weekend and the other weekends were just rumors.

34 comments:

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

No famewhore in their right mind is going to schedule their wedding anywhere near the time of the Royal Birth.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Sooooo Enty.....you wrote a 500 word essay on it because......

O'Really said...

Run around on the playground for 2 hours?? Because we see her working out all the time? Is she a chronic jogger? If so, I've totally missed all of those pap photos.

It is not acceptable to body shame fat people so why the fuck does anyone think it's ok to shame skinny ones?

Unknown said...

Call me crazy but I could Angelina thinking she could upstage the royal birth. lol.

Seachica said...

Little Miss said it. No one is planning their wedding around the time of the royal birth unless they do NOT want massive press. This weekend is a famewhore's nightmare, but it is a great weekend if you want to bury the news.

MISCH said...

Who cares, so over them

figgy said...

I agree with @MISCH, they're past their peak. Marry, don't, whatever. Yawn.

HannahBanana said...

<-------this is exactly how many shits I give. WHO CARES?!?!?!?

rhinovodka said...

oh good. I find them incredibly boring. It would be much more interesting if they were starting a cult and adopted a half-alien/human hybrid (oh how I miss those old tabloid covers from the 80's).

EDMAN said...

Who bloody cares about the royal birth!

MichaelaK said...

Yawn.

You know, I bet you could get some extra click revenue if you slapped a "Team Anniston" flag on the banner at the top of the page. We all know it, but advertising it would bring at least half of the Celebitchy contingent over and that's gold for you right there!

trsalka said...

Noone gives a shiiiiite Enty please stop.

B said...

Agree with O'Really. Body shaming of any kind is just not cool.

car54 said...

I'd like to see worlds collide--Brangelina gets married, Kate has the baby, and Jennifer and Justin elope--all on the same weekend.

Cornbread said...

@rhinovodka, YES.

Less Brangie...more Bat Boy, Nostradamus predictions and 75lb. tabby cats, please. Elvis, Shelly and Amelia Earhart are all together, right?

H888FUL said...

Is it too much for some of you to spell ANISTON correctly? It's not like you haven't seen it written a million times, yet you still cannot spell it? No I am not a fan of hers (or really any celeb for that matter) but it just makes you look retarded. Seriously.

Barton Fink said...

Having recently said hideous things about Jolie and Pitt, I am gonna sit this one out. Except to say, I think that they seem to have a good agreement about life and publicity and balancing roles. They might just last.

trainrides said...

Enty, no mention of Colin Farrell or Billy Bob or Jen on this post? :(

Count Jerkula said...

Ya think the broad he took to the weed store is going to be the flower girl?

Is Angie hating on Jon Voight currently? Maybe Billy Bob could give away the bride, as a sign of finally passing the poon to Brad.

Since he is a rich pot head, they should totally have a wedding in Amsterdam or Washington and have a weed station during the cocktail hour. "AK-47 or NY Diesel, sir?" and dude packs a commemorative one hitter or does some oragami with the paper to roll something fancy.

MichaelaK said...

Oh, the irony of you, 888, calling anyone else mentally challenged. It's not even Friday!

bar fly said...

Who the fuck cares? They've been together forever. They have a litter of kids. Obviously they enjoy each others company. Who gives a crap if they're legally married or not. They're already a family. The end. Fuck.

bar fly said...

Once again +1000000 lol

Glitter said...

I do not care about these two and their marriage. For me, they have worn out their welcome.

Tru Leigh said...

Again?

Anonymous said...

don't care about them or the royal birth, happy for people that are happy, but that's about it.

Anotheramy said...

For the last year or so? I don't remember the timeline, Angie has been having surgeries. I imagine I wouldn't want to plan a wedding in between having the stitches out and having the expander expanded. If they do or if they don't, Meh. Its been said, they've been together forever, disappointing millions of ANNISTON fans. I really do hope the royal baby is born, Jen and whoever shes engaged to right now get married and Brad and Angie has a quiet ceremony in the country side and tweet the pictures all within an hour of each other.

The Original CDAN Reader said...

DEBBY DOWNER ALERT: AJ might be sicker than she’s telling everyone and Brangelina might actually be getting married w/o any thought about how it will affect Janniston. No idea how a tabloid would find out, though. They’re pretty good at keeping big events on the DL. Or…this could be total bullshit for clicks and mag sales!

Diamond Girl said...

I agree ! The ridiculous "engagement" like that's such a huge step after six kids. But they'll milk it all they can.

NaughtyNurse said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Seven of Eleven said...

BS. Brad & Jen's wedding was a freak show with the helicopters and wall to wall tabloid coverage. Angelina is way too concerned with her public image for that. If they get married, it'll be in french courthouse and they'll sell the pics for charity like they did with the baby photos or her announcing the mastectomy after the surgery. The tabs are milking JenBradAngeJust teat until the royal babe shows up.

Anonymous said...

Who gives a flying fuck?

Illinois Fan said...

I've been on Team Aniston from the start. Everyone here blames the tabloids for keeping this rivalry going - why doesn't Brad get some of the blame? Every time he does publicity for a new movie, he trots out some new tidbit about his life during his relationship with Jen. If he really wants people to stop talking about their breakup he should STFU. Brad was hot when he was with Jen and now he looks like a homeless person.

Count Jerkula said...

@illinoisFan: she did drive Vince Vaughn away with her control freek ways. There are reasons a broad that hot can't keep a man.

Illinois Fan said...

My comment posted before I finished. Jen looks great and she never brings up her time with Brad unless it's to respond to some of the incredibly rude comments that Brad has made about her over the years. So why does Jen get so much hate?

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