Friday, April 06, 2007

Ted C Blind Item

Trust, doll-pusses, just because Star Jones-Reynolds left network TV doesn't mean the once impeccably peopled, more polished outlets are without chest-stabbing, chutzpah-powered pricks who need to trim their nose hairs. I mean, these places have gotten downright pedestrian, cable-esque 'n' catty!

Take Teri-Fairy Terrible, for ince. T.F.T., of majorly questionable sexuality, has been around. In so many ways. And, at first, Teri-sweetie was, indeed, working for a cable outfit. That was before the only medium good-looking (at best) personality figured out how to sleep with powerful playahs to get ahead—despite having a long-suffering spouse at home. And isn't it interesting that as the higher Teri-Fairy's media star seemed to rise, so, too, did Terrible's really terrible state of affairs at home?

Teri's social graces, too, seem to have gone the way of the teleprompter-reader's once happy picket-fence scene.

"You're so talented," Teri most insincerely oozed to a fellow (and also successful) boob-tube performer at a recent gathering of Terrible's media colleagues. The coworker knew some sort of dig was coming, and, sure enough, it predictably did, just as he was excusing himself from the Fairy-schmuck's vicinity.

"It's a shame to see your competition eating you for lunch," T.F.T. got in, just in the knick of socially unacceptable time.

Ah, any wonder why Teri has no friends—not to mention, any fam—left? Will that cushy gig be next? Karma's a bitch!

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Katie Couric

Anonymous said...

Couric didn't start on cable.

sb said...

Also would not have characterized Katie Couric as having "majorly questionsable sexuality."

I also think this is a guy - Ted C. usually refers to gay men as fairies, not so w/gay women.

Anonymous said...

anderson cooper

sb said...

questionable. sorry for the typo.

Anonymous said...

I would hardy call Anderson Cooper's gig "cushy" - he is always in the heart of war, devastation, dangerous situations ...

Anonymous said...

I just read somewhere that Paula Zahn is getting a divorce because she's been having an affair with some married with children CEO.

Anonymous said...

But Courik did almost start on cable,
"Couric's reporting career began when she was hired by Stan Hooper as a desk assistant for the ABC News bureau in Washington, D.C., later joining CNN as an assignment editor. " - As realiable as Wikipedia may be considered...

Anonymous said...

What about the new guys on Good Morning America: Chris Cuomo and Sam Champion? What is their background?

Anonymous said...

Samantha Harris. Cushy job being "Dancing With The Stars"? Didn't she start out on E!?

Anonymous said...

I hate the way Ted C writes!!! That's why I stoppeed reading his shit...it gives me a headache!!!

heather

Anonymous said...

i'm gonna go out on a limb and say kimora lee simmons...it doesn't fit the clues so well, but it fits the name (double first name) and at the end Karma sounds a lot like kimora
plus her sexuality has always been questioned

mookie said...

connie c.?

Anonymous said...

Katie's husband died of cancer several years ago.

Anonymous said...

anderson cooper

Anonymous said...

could it be julie chen (the "chenbot")? i don't know if she was married previously, but supposedly she was les moonves' mistress before he divorced his first wife and married her. before her plastic surgery she was only "medium-good looking at best" and she definitely "slept with powerful playahs to get ahead."

however, enough facts don't fit (prior marriage, ambisexual, a start in cable) that i'm not 100% sure of my guess.

Anonymous said...

Anderson didn't start on cable iirc. I believe he was a Abc World News Now (early early morning) then hosted The Mole prior to CNN cushy gig.

I would say the name "Teri" implies female, Terry is traditionally the male-version of that nickname.

I secretly hope it's Nancy Grace. teehee.

Twisted Sister said...

The blind item alone doesn't give much direction without seeing the "and it ain't's" that are pictured along with it.

EL - you need to add that when copying Ted's blind vices. The and it ain't's are:

Stone Philips
Diane Sawyer
Barbara Walters


They happen to be on Dateline, Prime Time and 20/20, so those are the kind of shows we're looking for.

Also, no gender is give, so it could be mail, especially since he uses the word fairy and says something about nose hair.

Your guesses so far are not right - some of these are very attractive people - read the bv again.

Anonymous said...

Ted is lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twisted Sister said...

Wow, I should proof before clicking the button.

No gender is given, so it could be male. Not mail.

And anon, if you think Ted is lame, don't read that part of EL's blog, ya dope.

Anonymous said...

Clues:

Teri-Fairy is male

* The name alone says it.
* "chutzpah-powered pricks who need to trim their nose hairs"

Is a Major Network Anchor
* "just because Star Jones-Reynolds left network TV"
* "I mean, these places have gotten downright pedestrian, cable-esque 'n' catty"
* The "And it A'int(s)" also point to a major network anchor (Diane Sawyer, Babara Wawa, and Stone Philips).

Spouse died or divorced?
* "despite having a long-suffering spouse at home"
* "as the higher Teri-Fairy's media star seemed to rise, so, too, did Terrible's really terrible state of affairs at home?"
* any wonder why Teri has no friends—not to mention, any fam—left"

mookie said...

i think the use of "long suffering" relates more to a spouse @ home who puts up w/ a lot...no necessarily one who is ill or deceased.

James said...

Forgive me for not doing the research on how either of these folks began, and I know not all the clues fit perfectly, but what about Anne (Ann?) Curry or Matt Lauer, or even Meredith for that matter? a stronger case could be made for Ann or Meredith regarding the "medium good-looking," as I think Matt's generally considered to be pretty attractive. But, there are all kinds of rumors about his sexuality, to say nothing of troubles with his wife. Today show could be considered "Cush" (Matt gets to travel all around the world, Meredith and Ann don't have to do all that much). Nevertheless, Matt seems like an all-around good guy, but of course that could be his PR folks doing a really good job with his image. Meredith as a bitch seems more believable to me, as does Ann (she's TOOOO nice on TV, and I bet she resents being passed over for Katie's job), although maybe that comment was from Matt to Katie, perhaps even half-jokingly...???

Otherwise, what's Maria Menounos's story? She married?

Be Adequite! said...

Why does the picket fence comment stand out in 3rd para? Why not just say "happier times" or something along those lines????

I'm totally stumped. At first I thought Mark McGrath, that horrible singer on one of the gossip shows, but he doesn't fit.

Anonymous said...

Matt Lauer was my first thought. He is rumored to have had affairs, is on and off with his wife and was doing some mediocre show on cable before coming to the Today show.

Anonymous said...

more chenbot evidence:
1) currently news reader for CBS' The Early Show & The CBS Morning News
2)"medium good-looking (at best) personality" see http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/
archives/004877.html
3) "figured out how to sleep with powerful playahs to get ahead--despite having a long-suffering spouse at home" the chenbot was engaged to be married to a tv news editor (gary donahue) since 1991, but around 2000 dropped him like a hot potato to be the mistress of, and in 2004, eventually wife of, les moonves
4) "terrible state of affairs at home"--bad home life due to resentment of 3 20something children from moonves' first marriage?
5) "once happy picket-fence scene"--les moonves cancelled Picket Fences when he was a CBS exec & the show was at CBS

so is she due to be axed from all her CBS gigs soon? ("no friends...fam...karma's a bitch")

when you sleep your way to the top, you have to stay on the good side of whoever's coattails you rode.

Anonymous said...

I thought Ted C's blind item names had the same number of syllables as the people they're about? Teri-Fairy Terrible has seven syllables, so wouldn't the TV personality in question also have to have a seven syllable name?

(This is also why I think Toothy Tile isn't Jake G.)

Anonymous said...

Julie Chen was a news reader on ABC Overnight before Moonvezzing over to CBS.

According to ImDb, she's done the voice of 'Starlet' on The Fairly OddParents on Nickelodeon, cable.

Starlet also is the full first name of Star(zilla) Jones Reynolds.

I think it's Julie Chen.

Anonymous said...

The Karma line made me think of Keith Olbermann. He's known to be an arrogant, egotistical, condescending SOB to work with. And he had an ex-girlfriend who began a blog and used the name, Karmabites to skewer him. But I'd hardly call him THAT famous and he's not married, never has been, although now he's shacked up with the 22-year old daughter of a former co-worker. He's 48 by the way.

Anonymous said...

"teleprompter picket fence scene" = Julie Chen as host in the original Big Brother in 2001, as the house did have a white picket fence. (?)

Anonymous said...

Good call on the 'picket fence' line.

Any newscasters ever do a guest appearance on that show?

Anonymous said...

Oops sorry anon 7:23, I was thinking along the lines of the show Picket Fences, just don't have the resources to google it from work :(

Anonymous said...

Doesn't ANYONE here watch NIGHTLINE?

"Cushy gig?"
"Questionable sexuality?"
"Started on cable?" (Court TV)

It's TERI MORAN!

Anonymous said...

...Make that TERRY Moran! :)

Anonymous said...

It's Tom Cruise you idiots!! He said "you're amazing" to Justin Timberlake.

Anonymous said...

What about Rachael Ray?

Anonymous said...

The first name to jump out at me was Greta Van Susteren, but I see everyone else skewing this male, so prob not...

Anonymous said...

Here's what jumps out at me:

1. This person has "majorly questionable sexuality"; and

2. This person "at first" worked for a "cable outfit" (doesn't mean news station); and

3. This person has a "long suffering spouse"; and

4. This person is not very good looking; and

5. This person is taking jabs at other people.


IMHO, Matt Lauer and Katie Couric have solid hetero reputations.

Ann Curry doesn't fit as she has never worked in cable TV.

I would bet on Diane Sawyer, who has been dating another woman for years, except that the blind item specifically says that it's not her.

However, Meredith Vieira asked Maddona to kiss her, which set of a lot of gossip at the time.

Vieira's husband has been very sick for years with multiple sclerosis.

Vieira used to work for Lifetime TV, but it wasn't her first job.

Vieira is not good looking, but she's not entirely fugly.

Vieira supposedly has been taking pot-shots at her coworkers, and she's supposedly preparing a report for higher ups blaming everyone else for Today Show's sagging ratings.

Word of that report has made the rounds and she is the most hated woman at the Today show.

If someone has someone who better fits this, I'd love to hear it. Vieira isn't exactly widely rumored to be gay, and she's not an exact fit for someone who had their first job in cable TV. Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

Diane Sawyer is married to Mike Nichols so who is this 'other woman' she's been dating for years?I've never heard a peep about her being gay--Peep=Easter humor. And who knew Meredith was such a bitch! Yikes!

Anonymous said...

What about Al Roker? He started on cable, refers to men as "Man Candy" if they are attractive, has been married to Deborah Roberts for years, and is a TOTAL JERK. In person, he is a total asshole and he has been known to take shots at his coworkers. Remember when he ratted on Katie Couric for getting autographs for her little girls? Also, his children reportedly hate him. Apparently he made sure his daughter got suspended for pot when he found some in her room, stuff like that. I think Al Roker fits.
-Dominique

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's Al Roker. I don't think anyone questions his sexuality and as for his children hating him, i'm pretty sure his children are in elementary school, so i doubt they'd be smoking pot.

Anonymous said...

He has a teenage daughter from his previous marriage.