Monday, April 02, 2007

AP Is Very Very Sneaky

So I had a long phone call with AP on Thursday night. The reason for the call was that I told her I saw pictures of her getting out of my SUV all over the internet last week and I don't want the paps to trace the license plate back to me. She was very apologetic and I'm a sucker so I forgave her. She asked how she could make it up to me. I kept my mind out of the gutter and said something to the effect of I wanted her to go with me next time there was a company function because my boss has a huge crush on her. She said she would. We started talking about my boss and how he has been bitching about money and billable hours. Every year around tax time I hear the same crap and it grows old. I told her that on Friday I was going to be forced to go to lunch with my boss and get to hear it all non-stop for a couple of hours and that I was seriously thinking about calling in sick.

I then brought up the internet pics again and she said she hadn't seen them because she doesn't read gossip blogs. She said it's bad enough seeing your face on the cover of a magazine. There was no way she was actually going to take the initiative and go to a blog just to find more pics or stories about her. She refuses to do one of those picking up an US Weekly or some other tab just to get her pic in them. She thinks it's a stupid thing to do. Now, in the same breath she also said that if there is a story about something she's really interested in, she will look at one just like anyone else. Makes sense in a weird kind of way.

Anyway. She asked where I was going to have lunch and I told her. Friday morning I went to get my car and it was gone. Didn't we just talk about this? I called AP and got voicemail. What was going to be a bad day anyway was going to be much worse for one simple reason. My boss hates driving when he has someone to drive him. He likes to feel important and this is accomplished by me or some other subordinate driving him whenever we go somewhere together. So, at lunch time I had to tell him that he needed to drive. Not a good expression on his face. Definitely was not going to get a raise at lunch. So we get to the restaurant and it goes exactly as planned in my mind. We need to cut back. He's so poor. Thinking of cutbacks, etc. This despite the fact that his car would pay for the salary of two paralegals for a year.

So I have my head down while eating. Just mumbling an occasional uh huh every couple of minutes. Then I hear her. She is with a girlfriend and walks right up to our table and says to my boss, "that is the most incredible suit. Don't you think so____________? Where did you get it? Do you work out?" Just three or four minutes of the most Oscar worthy flirting in the history of flirting. My boss is bright red and is just mumbling and stuttering. He just doesn't know what to say, but AP has it covered. She asked him if SHE could take a photo with him. He almost passed out right there. AP just totally ignored me. Pretended she didn't even know me. She gave me her cell phone to take the pic and as my boss leaned in she gave me the greatest wink since Susanna Hoffs told me she wasn't busy one night, at least not yet. ( Another time. Another story.) After the photo, my boss finally asked if he could have one with her and AP actually sat in his lap. She then got up, and while pointing at his wedding band, told my boss that it was too bad he was married. Then, she was gone. Just like that. No more talk about work from my boss. He spent the rest of lunch sending the photo to everyone he could think of and just would not stop smiling.

Thanks AP. Even though you won't read this you're forgiven. Of course it would've been nice if you told me that my car was at the restaurant BEFORE it closed. Airplanes are no excuse. There are such things as airports where that type of notification can be done.

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

EL get your keys back!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

EL get your keys back!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

She's wiley, that one. I'll bet she had a set made.

Stacy said...

Is AP Stacy Keibler?

Anonymous said...

im sorry, but this really screams Nicole Richie for some reason

Anonymous said...

This is the shit that makes me want to stop reading the blog, good thing other than AP it's still good. Nice way to be used and brag about it....woo hoo

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Dude, where's your car?

Anonymous said...

are we supposed to know who EL is now?

Anonymous said...

Tara Reid??

Anonymous said...

AM

Anonymous said...

I believe first AP post indicated she was a singer?? Anyway, I given EL more credit than hanging out with Nicole Richie or Tara Reid. Besides what man over 25 is going to brag about having a picture taken with these nitwits?

Anonymous said...

And another thing...AP definitely wants EL.

Anonymous said...

. . .needs? whatever the case, AP is as hot as can be!

Anonymous said...

AP =American Pie = Tara Reid=
typecast = Grammy friend

Anonymous said...

Also, = vacation somewhere in Mexico = bikini pictures = cup over
half full

Anonymous said...

It's Scarlett Johanson!!!!!!
Isn't it???? hmnnn

Anonymous said...

I don't think AP is a singer, unless she's a singer/actress. Even though he says she is one of his newfound Grammy friends later it says she gets scripts sent to her and can audition for any role. He also says she's a film actress and that she's producing too.

Anonymous said...

ScarJo not so much :S

Anonymous said...

what about a Pam Anderson type... ENTL hinted she was hot, the boss has a crush. Im thinking its a sex symbol, but acts young- like mid to late twenties??

Anonymous said...

to: Anon 12:18

The first post said AP was a new grammy friend but in the same post indicated she was an actress.

"We basically talked about what it is like for an actress to change not only the public perception of her but also the studios. Even though she is a solid B lister she is forced to audition for the roles she wants..."

Anonymous said...

i wanna hear the susanna hoffs story! did she tell you that before or after she was married!?

Anonymous said...

What about Ali Larter? He said in one post that she'd kick his ass if he said anything bad about Hayden P. - so we know they're friends. Can't figure out if she was at Grammys though. But she does have one producer title to her credit.

Anonymous said...

Why do I keep thinking Alyssa Milano? Whoever it is that's really nice of them to distract the big boss, those talks blow!

Anonymous said...

Ok,Anon 1:20 thanks for the clarification singer vs actress.

My guess is Carmen Electra. She could pull off the heavy flirt thing, and is hot enough to make a man lose his composure. Also fits an actress trying to overcome industry perception. But is she really a pap hound? That is the only thing that gave me pause.

Anonymous said...

The only pictures that I saw over the weekend of someone getting out of a truck were of Brandy getting of a Range Rover. She definitely will be needing a lawyer soon also so it fits.

Anonymous said...

Enty: Tell tell tell!!!

:o)

Anonymous said...

What a riot! She likes ENTY for sure! But the car thing? Is that just a celebrity quirk? Get your own ride!I still say it's Heather Graham. Off to look for pics and producing credits....
--LB

Anonymous said...

random guess:
how about cameron diaz?
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2007/03/27/cameron-diaz-studded-bag/

Anonymous said...

anon 1:17! you read my mind! someone far more full on sexually and for lack of a better word more sophisticated than tara reid or nicole richie.

definitely someone along those lines. i even considered jenna jamison.

Anonymous said...

2nd random guess although she's younger: rachel bilson
http://buzznet-84.vo.llnwd.net/media-cdn/jj1/2007/03/rachel_bilson_rope_bracelet/thumbs/rachel-bilson-rope-bracelet-12.jpg

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2007/03/23/rachel-bilson-rope-bracelet/

Anonymous said...

What about Mandy Moore????? She is a kind of singer and lately has been in a few movies. She seems to be attempting to be taken more seriously??? She was in that movie with Lauren Graham who is in Evan Almighty? Am I stretching too far? Plus MM seems cute and flirty enough to pull off the suit thing.

Anonymous said...

I meant to say MM was in a recent movie with Lauren Graham, and LG is going to be in Evan Almighty this summer.

Anonymous said...

LB I couldn't find recent heather graham pictures ...
why do you think it's her?

Anonymous said...

b:) i want to ask you something--

Anonymous said...

I am now convinced it is Tara Reid...
1) She was at the grammy's (albeit a Grammy's watching party, but she probably hit up the after parties
2) She has been seen this last week in pics getting out of a black SUV
3) She was in Acapulco very recently
4) She IS a producer (whodda thunkit)
"Tara Reid is attached to star in and executive produce the indie romantic comedy "Honestly."

"Tara Reid's production company, Hi Happy Films, is producing alongside Tommy Reid and Aimee Flaherty. The film is being financed through private equity."



Kim

Anonymous said...

If any other woman besides one that was good looking and famous took Ent's car and then showed up and played those games with his boss during lunch like he described, Ent would be getting a restraining order instead of writing about in in his blog.
Just because she's famous doesn't mean she not a psycho. Sounds like a scene from Fatal Attraction.

Anonymous said...

Claudea--She was my guess initially, when EL first posted about her...his description (solid B lister--still has to audition, unless it's for stuff she's already known for ie. sexpot roles.)Also, I think she was in some Grammy pictures and that's where he said he befriended her. AP sounds like she been around for awhile and knows a lot of people. Heather has been around awhile and has worked with lots of different celebs. And she seems like she's funny and charming. She only has one mention on EL's tote board so he hasn't ragged on her. Just my guess though...

Anonymous said...

Awesome story!

Anonymous said...

Oh...never mind. As of 3/16/07 it sounds like she's in Ireland filming. I will never get one of these right.

Anonymous said...

Actually I think AP is Brandy. She was seen getting out of a brand new silver Range Rover. The pictures are on tmz.com. Also EL has not done any stories about her. If you notice she is not even listed under "Labels" and even losers are on that list. She does not really fit "sexy" image but the fact that EL NEVER talks about her is interesting considering she lives and works in Los Angeles.

Anonymous said...

http://www.tmz.com/search/?q=Brandy&btnSearch.x=40&btnSearch.y=7

Anonymous said...

Would EL (presumably no fool) let Brandy, Tara Reid, or Nicole Itchie drive his car?

The Alyssa Milano guess is appealing, but I think it's Lauren Graham. She's got looks AND smarts.

b

Anonymous said...

Not that it matters, but I think EL is black. He comes across that way. If you look down on today's page he says he wishes he could look more like Amaury Nolasco. Like I said I don't care what color EL is but assuming he is white is leading all of us in the wrong direction.

Anonymous said...

Maybe EL is Hispanic. All I saying is I think we are all looking at the wrong women.

Anonymous said...

didn't somwone already guess ali larter?

Stacy said...

Its not Brandy. Who in the hell would lend their car to someone who just killed a lady in a car accident? EL doesn't strike me as a dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that EL indicated that AP lives out of the area, which is why she has no ride here. I'll have to go back a bit to those first few posts when he wrote about her, but I'm pretty sure he said that she lived somewhere like on a ranch or something. I remember thinking it was someone with a place up in Santa Barbara or Ojai. Am I just imagining this or does anyone else remember it that way?
Kellygirl

Anonymous said...

@Stacy: lol. Also, does she even still have her driving licence after that!?!
The pic is legit but I wouldn't qualify her as a "solid B lister" either!

Mi is right though, we can't presume of Ent racial identity: it could be anyone. But that does not define the type of ppl he hang out with!

Anonymous said...

Wow, for someone so smart you sure don't have much sense.
Tell her that 'borrowing' your car is off limits. You're freaking out about her stepping out of your car and having pictures taken, yet then 'so I wake up and my car is gone"

W
T
F
?

If you're going to fall into the fakeness of what surrounds you, don't act like those of us who read your blog are stupid, please.

Next time some chick takes your car and your boss has to drive, hope someone comes and bails you out. You got lucky today.

Anonymous said...

I think EL is latin, and AP is sofia vergara.

Just sayin'! :)

Anonymous said...

Let's recapitulate :

What actress was photographed in Hollywood last week (could also be the one before that, because Ent could be trying to mix things up), on a thrusday (preferably), coming out/in/entering a SUV...
The same actress took a plane afterwards to go to NYC/Canada/other sunny or not destinations.

Anonymous said...

Tara Reid isn't B-list, is she?

Anonymous said...

Tari Reid is D list, crouching near C with new boobs.

Anonymous said...

Tara Reid, no matter what we think about her, has had a solid B-list career. I am still not completly sold on her being AP but, I would call her a b-lister. I could also see her talking about how now she cannot get people in the industry to change their perception of her (drunk party girl) like AP was saying. And...TMZ has pictures of her in Acapulco this last weekend. She had to fly to get there. Probably Thursday...I am just saying.

Anonymous said...

Tara Reid is definitely NOT a B-lister. At best I would call her a C-lister, if not D-list. Maybe when her career was good (oh, 5 years ago or so) she MIGHT be a B lister if you stretched it. But there is no way in hell she is B-list now.

Anonymous said...

Want to know how to get Ent to tell us who AP is (or at least to give us some better clues)??

Let's just all guess Courtney Love. If we do that, he'll tell us anything we want to know just to get us to stop!!!!

Anonymous said...

I thought AP was Brandy too. But at some point she told EL that she liked driving his SUV and was thinking about buying one. When she had that car accident, she was driving her SUV.

JVangelgirl said...

I seriously doubt it's Brandy because she had already owned a Range Rover before the accident. So, driving a SUV isn't a big deal to her and plus I'm sure she's not sneaking and taking EntL truck when she have such a bad reputation now (killing a woman).

And since when Brandy been known for playing sexpots role. She's cute and all but she's no sexpot. And I dont see her making some middle aged lawyer blushing like a school girl.

Anonymous said...

maybe, just maybe its Eva Mendes, the only thing he ever wrote about her was -
"Eva Mendes says she is a cheap date and not that smart. Well we have two things in common, so next time I say hi, don't rush by me like I was a homeless guy with a sign."

This fits in a lot of ways. I was thinking that maybe shes trying to change perceptions of herself as a solid actress beyond roles created for latino women? Dont know, shot in the dark. Anyone see any pics of her getting out of an suv lately?

Anonymous said...

Could be Vivica Fox... lots of pap shots of her as she got out of an suv this week... not on e.l's labels list.. but hes not dumb, he wouldnt give his vehicle to her drunk drivin ass would he?

Anonymous said...

e.l's second item about AP says that, "...AP lives to hell". Typo or hint??? This must have been deliberate no? Funny, this makes me think its Tara. But i do give Ent. more credit than that.

Anonymous said...

oh, and i also want to add that ent. usually has the same snarky opinions about people that most other bloggers do and Tara is the only one that EVERYONE trashes and he has not... hmm.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't rule out Heather Graham because of filming elsewhere - he did say she flew off - and could have been around for a week or so before depending on shoot schedule... I definitely DON'T think it is Tara Reid, Nicole Richie or Brandy...

Anonymous said...

I'm terrible at these things but... is Cameron Diaz out of the question? She was in Hawaii this past weekend. But first, is she a "solid B lister" or more like A lister?

Anonymous said...

i dunno el, this smells bad. okay, your boss--can we say head of law firm?--in your self-described profession, has been at it longer and would be expected to be pretty jaded at these things.

would the head of a law firm want to be seen eating lunch with you?

hmmmmm. . .

Anonymous said...

OK- A lightbulb went off. I bet anything it is Hillary Duff!!!

Anonymous said...

seems odd a lawyer refers to a firm function as a company function. law firms arent companies...dont know if EL is who he says he is. Or doesnt work at a law firm but rather is of counsel at an entertainment company/studio etc.

Anonymous said...

If everyone would look at all the articles Ent has about Tara Reid you would see that she is AP. Definetly. Ent. met her at a grammy party. He says she was hitting on him and he talked to her for awhile. He has nothing but nice things to say about her not only in that post but in all the others, too. Other blogger at least take a few shots at Tara because it's so easy. Why do u think he doesn't? The most obvious reason though is that he says in a post about AP that she told him a guy, who is not a celebrity but everyone knows him still, has had sex with many many girls. AP said he cannot perform well in bed and has to watch to get aroused. And, go figure, Ent says he talked to Tara Reid about Joe Francis and how he was in bed and she had nothing nice to say. That gives u the answer right there.
Tara Reid is most def. B list. And the fact that some of u don't think she is is hindering ur ability to solve this. It's Tara Reid. No question.

Anonymous said...

And the pictures of her and the suv are on X17. Search for her name and then check out the latest pics of her.

Anonymous said...

Wow.

(I'm not sure if that's an entirely good wow, either. It's definitely an "I'm glad I don't live in LA" wow.)

Get your keys back, my friend. Sharpish.

I know you're a big boy, but abuse of one privilege leads to other boundaries falling by the wayside.

Next thing you know, AP will be drunk dialing you a few times a week!

It's a slippery slope (even if it is covered with huge silicone moguls)!

;)

Jem said...

Wouldn't Hilary Duff be a bit young to do the flirty thing with a boss though? I don't know, maybe not!

I always thought it was Heather Graham, but Lauren Graham also would make sense.

Anonymous said...

so, anonymous 2:28, *if* EL is really a lawyer would he be working to establish her restaurant? there seems to be a starstruck nature to these BIs and i still think that someone who works in entertainment law would be more jaded. that, and that he doesn't say anything bad about perez makes me wonder if they know each other. i've been getting the feeling that he's more underground. someone who reports blind items sure has a lot of power--not just for the reader but for the people they're about.

i know miss hez says let ent to be ent, but he's a big blind item too and admittedly this speculation is very entertaining.

btw, miss tara reid is looking very awesome these days. good for her.

Anonymous said...

im glad i suggested it was her

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