Friday, January 04, 2008

Need To Have Sex To Make A Baby-- Part Two





Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have an appointment scheduled with a fertility doctor later this month. Seems that the couple are having a tough time conceiving. Now Magazine quotes a source as saying: "Katie is so upset. They both really want another child but it just doesn't seem to be happening. She says they have been trying since last summer. Tom and Katie have decided to go and see a specialist."

The reason it isn't happening is because you have to have sex to make a baby unless of course you are Xenu, and in that case it just magically appears and then you style and cut the hair so it looks just like daddy. Didn't have much trouble getting pregnant before Suri. In fact, it was pretty damn quick after they got together. Maybe at that point Tom could still close his eyes and imagine that Nicole Kidman was showing him serious strap on loving and was thus able to impregnate Katie. Or of course it might not be Tom's baby. Good luck finding that one out. It would be an interesting situation if Suri were ever faced with a life threatening disease and needed a match, whether Tom would be that match she needed or if by sheer bad luck he wasn't, and say someone else was.

I think what they have been doing since last summer is trying to figure out how to spin the fact that Suri is going to be an only child. This situation should not come as a surprise. What does come as a surprise is Suri. I'm sure that Tom Cruise wishes each and everyday of his life that he never married Mimi Rogers because she spilled and spilled, and she made it clear that Tom could not get anyone pregnant.

Scorecard:

Mimi and Tom = 0 kids -unable to get pregnant
Tom and Nicole = 2 adopted kids who should be on the back of a milk carton by now. Unable to get pregnant.
Tom and Penelope = She is kinky, but not that kinky. Tom puts strap on back in box. Didn't have a child but don't know of they tried.
Tom and Katie = 1 child. Unable to get pregnant again.

I'm seeing a pattern. Do you see it? Every woman Tom has been involved with has an E at the end of her name or an E sound. Oh, and the pregnancy thing.

28 comments:

wtf said...

Suri is Josh's. Fug as hell too.

wtf said...

Suri is Josh's. Fug as hell too.

Patra said...

who is Josh?

jax said...

Hartnett? i thought so too but she's growing to look a LOT like Chris Klein. its in the eyes..baby.

Les Suckno For President said...

Did Mimi Rogers first spill the beans that Tom Cruise was a homosexual?

I suspect Mimi married him for love, then found out during her marriage that Tom was a fudgepacker.

Nicole Kidman was a contractual bride. Tom didn't mind her screwing around so long as she was discreet about it. Unfortunately, Nicole got knocked up by her lover and Tom terminated the contract.

Penepole munches carpet, so she was a natural to beard Tom for a while for a large check.

And Katie is another contractual bride. Suri's father is a stage hand on the last of Katie's movies. Good girl Katie got knocked up out of wedlock. Tom figures he can have a child and a wife for a large check. Solves Katie's problem as well.

Tom Cruise even looks like a faggot. Whenever he's with a woman, he stares at men's asses. You know he's a punk assed bitch and a cocksucker.

Kristen S. said...

You suspect they're planning to explain why Suri is an only child? Really?

I suspect they are not having any testing done as they say they are, but are doing IVF. In a few months, they will announce their pregnancy and how much Xenu helped them conceieve.

Also you forgot to mention the quote about how Kat(i)e wants to "give" Tom a son as if a) he didn't alread have a son and b) just, ick...is this the Middle Ages?

kmg said...

Secondary infertility is very common in women. After the birth of the first child, it becomes very difficult to get pregnent the second time. It is possible that is what is happening. I just want to give Katie the benefit of her child and marriage not being a total sham. Besides, when you are actively trying to get pregnent and it's not happening, that's a very emotionally difficult thing to go through.

Mooshki said...

That's really funny, Ent, because in dog training books they recommend that you pick a name with an E sound at the end because it's easier for dogs to hear.

ria said...

Ok that picture of Tom holding back Kate's hair is kinda creepy.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I'm sure for a few million and a sweet movie deal, Josh H. would be willing to give Suri a full bio-sibling. Xenu can provide.

Mooshki said...

Josh H. has seemed so high lately, I doubt his fertility is in top form either.

Fabiola Thing said...

This is all just coverup bullshit for Tom's true sexual orientation.
Trying for five months without success does not mean there is a fertility problem. Usually a fertility specialist would not even see a couple until they have been trying for at least a year to get pregnant.

jax said...

you wait..that "fertility appointment" is going to turn into a fucking miracle baby...invitro!!

Sylvia said...

Les, from what I read a long time ago when Gay Cruise was first married to Mimi Rogers was that she felt he was like a priest since he didn't want to have sex. To me Mimi sounded extremely pissed when he left her for Ms. Frozen Face.

So their was no problem when Kati had Suri and now they are having problems. Sounds very suspicious.

Yes he looks very gay from these photos and yes it looks strange that he was pulling Kati's hair. Was their a purpose for that? Does he think that is funny cause I surely don't.

frou frou said...

um, he's holding her hair back away from the candles on her birthday cake. sheesh. my husband does that all the time.

except it's not for candles. it's for when i'm puking my drunken guts out.

and he's not my husband. more like my uh, houseboy.

and it's not my hair he's holding, either.

i'm going to stop here.

Sylvia said...

HAHAHAHA @ frou frou

Keep going lol

takeme2espana said...

Just wondering how long it takes, genetic wise, to find an embryo that looks EXACTLY like Suri. I mean, we wouldn't want a slight, natural variation of the gene pool-now would we? Wanna bet the next "Cruise" is a carbon copy? Haircut and all? I remember reading something contractual/financial in this 'marriage' per kiddo, several million...

Twisted Sister said...

Why oh why oh why are we encouraging the troll by engaging it?


Five months is nothing and doesn't mean there are fertility issues AT ALL. This is just smokescreen so they can use the sterile turkey baster in the doctors office rather than the one they just used at Thanksgiving.

Grace said...

If KatE has declared that she wants to give Tom a son, you can bet Xenu that IF they have another child it will certainly be a boy.

The allotted contractual time will go by and boom -- the divorce announcement will be made, seemingly out the blue.

Wheel of Fortune said...

Guess I'm the only one to think that Suri really is Tom's kid and that Katie agreed to be invitro'ed before she and Tom "came out" (lol) as a couple. To me, Suri's eyes look like Katie's but have that weird beady Xenu glint of Cruise.

Jolara said...

Wow, back when Nicole looked more human.

I bet he used a cousins sperm for Suri.
Y'know, if he would have just come clean from the get go that he is sterile or whatever. The speculation wouldn't be there. Not that it is any of our business, but he is in the public eye and he likes it that way. He may enjoy all this behind the back whispering about him because we have all heard the cliche'- No such thing as bad publicity- but with the bad light he has put on himself in the last 2 years I would think a bit of damage control would be first on order. Why not just admit to the situation instead of digging himself a bigger hole and he just "might" gain a bit of sympathy and positive reaction from the public instead of scoffs. He is turning into the male version of Britney as far as popularity is concerned. That's my take on the whole thing.

Oh, frou frou-so funny and I have so been there too!

Wheel of Fortune said...

@jolara: I'll agree with a cousin of Cruise's kid. I just think I see some Mapother about her...

Majik said...

Such a shame...if big stars like Cruise and Revolta would just come OUT--even if they never work again, they're set for life!! Can one's ego really be so big??

ria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mss125 said...

Have you seen his cousin? I see the resemblance. Not too mention I think he lives with them. I have always thought he was Suris bio father. Check him out here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0544611/

fo real said...

does anyone think Tom and Nic could be the blind about the really bad adoptive parents that did it for press and the grandparents or someelse looks after them?

whatdoyathink?

Twisted Sister said...

fo real, I thought the way the blind was written made it sound like they were still together, but I could be wrong about that. I tried finding the blind but had no luck. I'll try digging again, though.

gossiphound said...

tom and katie seem happy to me. i mean, who wouldn't be happy with millions of dollars to spend and a beautiful child? Katie knows she has got it made so she won't do anything to rock the boat.