Wednesday, January 02, 2008

It's Crap, But At Least It's Sweet Crap

The Daily Star in the UK is reporting that Amy Winehouse is going to renew her wedding vows to her husband this Friday in the jail where her husband is currently residing. Although this is right up there with a shotgun wedding and marrying your cousin on the sweetness and shudder menu, it is also very unlikely to happen.

First, our lovely pop tart is currently enjoying a respite in Bryan Adams' house in Mustique. When I say respite, I mean she is sleeping and doing drugs as opposed to her UK schedule of sleeping and doing drugs and walking to the store for sugar. Apparently the staff at the villa are just bringing her stalks of raw sugar cane to suck down when she gets the munchies.

I'm grateful, but also a little disappointed in the efforts of the famous UK paps to get us photos of Amy's new bikini. After we were treated earlier this year to the lime green bikini, I was hoping for something even more garish to contrast against her pale, junkie skin. She looked so good with the hot sun and all that junkie sweat pouring out of her. I bet she smelled lovely.

What also may have not occurred to the Daily Star when they reported this wedding vow thing is that I believe Amy has been banned from the jail where her husband is incarcerated. Something to do with a positive drug test by Blake. If she hasn't been banned then I know she has at least been banned from actually touching her husband, and would have to do a renewal ceremony on the phone divided by the bullet proof glass. With only one phone per booth, it could get a little awkward with the minister, Amy, the ring bearer, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and everyone all shuffling around while using the phone, not getting in the way of the other inmates and their renewal ceremonies. Oh, wait. Amy probably signed up first so all the other inmates that wanted to have wedding renewal ceremonies will have to wait until next week.


Moonmaid said...

No comments because no one is interested any more. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Amy probably won't be around much longer to entertain us in all the ways she currently does. Sucking on all that raw cane in Mustique might help her get over that Blake addiction, but heroin (crack, whatever) is gonna kick her ass for good. In her own sick way, she is probably enjoying her role as a tragically doomed figure. It's much easier and more 'glamorous' than working at being sober.

jax said...

I can't stand bryan adams..after that blind item about the elevator...Vancouver boy or not...apparetly Lindsay Lohan almost od'd in the UK at his house that time 'she cut her leg on a teacup' and was rushed to the hospital but it was covered up.

Bryan i know your singing career blows...but stop doing drugs with chicks with issues!

Send Amy to rehab loser not paradise.

Anonymous said...

i wish she could stop acting so trashy.

Unknown said...

You know, she actually looks like she's hucked on some weight here. Not nearly as drastic.

Oh, and just because she's staying at Bryan Adams' place doesn't mean he's got anything to do with her personal life. I doubt they're mates.

jax said...

then wtf would she be doing at his damn villa if they aren't even friends etc?

Either way..i woudln't let Amy stay in my dumpster..girl's a straight up tweak. It's not like Bryan is clueless to her issues.

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I feel like she and K-Fed would make a cute couple.

jannie said...

Now that is funny !!! There is somebody for everybody !!!!! He just might be the one. But just not sure who should ask to see a health card first. Just to make sure all parties have been cleared


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