Tuesday, June 10, 2008
So last night I heard the news I was dreading almost as much as Paris Hilton being knocked up. The level of pain in this one goes more personal though. I can feel the horror unleashing in my body. Also, due to the 99% Paris ban on this site, I could have probably got through 9 months relatively pain free of a Paris pregnancy and I would have been busy waiting for the seven signs of the apocalypse to be fulfilled so that would have been interesting.
The phone call last night was a bunch of me asking, "are you sure?" Wondering aloud if it might be some child she ate as a sacrifice, or the indigestible food from her restaurant creating some kind of Besos Beer Belly. Then I asked if it was Tony's. Apparently it is, and the question was not found amusing. At least she could have got knocked up by Mario Lopez and made this thing more interesting.
Site wise I can get through the Eva Longoria pregnancy because, well it is not like she is on the site everyday. Personally it will be much tougher as the person who told me was so excited that I know it will be 9 months of hearing her friends screaming and happy and just being, well friends. The fact that we share a set of friends will just further add fuel to my misery. I may take up drinking absinthe. Maybe then I could just zone out until sometime during the baby shower, or its graduation from high school.
This is the only time you will hear me say the words, so, enjoy them. Congratulations Eva. Damn, that was harder than passing a kidney stone.