The Evil EL Is Pregnant
So last night I heard the news I was dreading almost as much as Paris Hilton being knocked up. The level of pain in this one goes more personal though. I can feel the horror unleashing in my body. Also, due to the 99% Paris ban on this site, I could have probably got through 9 months relatively pain free of a Paris pregnancy and I would have been busy waiting for the seven signs of the apocalypse to be fulfilled so that would have been interesting.
The phone call last night was a bunch of me asking, "are you sure?" Wondering aloud if it might be some child she ate as a sacrifice, or the indigestible food from her restaurant creating some kind of Besos Beer Belly. Then I asked if it was Tony's. Apparently it is, and the question was not found amusing. At least she could have got knocked up by Mario Lopez and made this thing more interesting.
Site wise I can get through the Eva Longoria pregnancy because, well it is not like she is on the site everyday. Personally it will be much tougher as the person who told me was so excited that I know it will be 9 months of hearing her friends screaming and happy and just being, well friends. The fact that we share a set of friends will just further add fuel to my misery. I may take up drinking absinthe. Maybe then I could just zone out until sometime during the baby shower, or its graduation from high school.
This is the only time you will hear me say the words, so, enjoy them. Congratulations Eva. Damn, that was harder than passing a kidney stone.
14 comments:
ent - you share a group of friends? That small degree of separation must be why you have so much hate.
However, remember what a good job she does with the kids in the school her sister goes to. She might be a good parent.
Who's the father?
I don't wish a kidney stone on anybody.
I haven't been drunk since New Year's Eve of 1990. I just found my excuse to start drinking again.
And so it begins... stage 1 of The Happening.
As much as I hate this little turd, she will be a MUCH better parent than Paris Hilton.
Of course, she will be an annoying attention whore the whole time, and act like the first woman to ever get pregnant, but I think she will be a decent mom.
Oh...I can't stand Eva. Looking at her fake, smiling face just grates. Now, we have to put up with her selling out her pregnancy to the tabloids. Exclusive rights to her "private" baby shower that's sponsored by everyone and anyone? Oh gawd please NO!
lol@pricolatino
I thought she and Tony were having problems in their marriage. Guess this is a good way of getting him for all hhis got if they ever get divorce.
meh..don't care either way.
i've had kidney stones 3x..thats just pain with no baby at the end to make it worth it. its fucked.
evil evil kidney stones
i had them while i was pregnant lol
labor = nothing, other than the nausea. i was having contractions for 15 weeks, so that wasn't shit lol
but at least Eva likes kids, she may be a good mom.
nothingsacred-- I also had kidney stones while pregnant--I was still in my 1st trimester, & they couldn't give me anything for the pain--so they stuck me in the hospital for a week. Do you know what it is like to be hispitalized over XMAS, when the entire staff hates you for being there during the holidays, in pain, bleeding heavily, with a 2 year old at home? Not fun. The 2nd time was 2 weeks before we were supposed to fly to Florida for my brother's wedding.
There are very few people I would wish the pain of kidney stones on!!!But I can still think of a few.
I love the way the guy in the background is totally filming something else.
If Eva has a "bump" of any size, then the baby is NOT Mario's....
I mean, with Eva standing on Mario's shoulders, the two of 'em would add up to, what, 5 foot 7 inches??
She'd give birth to a thimble!!!
We can choose to ignore.
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