Monday, June 09, 2008

Naomi Campbell Has Her D**k Cut Off

Now I know why Naomi Campbell has been spending so much time down in strange Brazilian hospitals and why her hormones are all out of whack. I honestly thought she just had some kind of anger management problem which caused her to lose control, but it was probably the fact that her d**k was being shriveled in preparation for being cut off.

Of course the above sentence is bulls**t as far as I know. It makes sense though when you consider the fact that Naomi talked about a recent operation she had so she could now have kids.
"Now I can have a child I would like one. I'm even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready.

She adds, "I know that with a baby I would change, I'd calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

First of all, she stressed in the interview that until the operation she would have been unable to have kids. I guess it could be a reversal of a tubal ligation or something, but since this is a gossip site and speculation is our drug, I am going to go ahead with the whole d**k theory. I love also how she is completely confident that she will be able to instantly control her temper once she has a child.

How many of you are perfectly calm all the time around your kids. Never test your patience do they? Never yelled when you didn't mean to? The kid may as well be born with a target that says, "Cell Phone Here" right on its chest. Barring that, the baby shower should be filled with copies of Mommie Dearest for Naomi as well as the local abuse hot lines for the kid.


Unknown said...

could have been fibroids...i just had surgery two weeks ago to remove two, they were taking up all the space! I couldn't have kids have kids then but this procedure now makes it possible....the fibroids were acting like natural IUD's.

Anonymous said...

Naomi with kids doubt she will be a good mother. Especially with her anger management. If she doesn't have patient with people guess how she will be with kids.

mooshki said...

"I know that with a baby I would change, I'd calm down."

That's almost as horrifying as the fake baby bump Paris was wearing yesterday.

jax said...

delusional party of 1!
please this chick flipped out over a luggage issue,how the hell is she gonna do during labor?

Miss X said...

"How many of you are perfectly calm all the time around your kids."

Umm, I can't even keep calm all the time around other people's kids.


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