Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

If Reese Witherspoon in a Kimono doesn't make it to the top of the photos, then this is a world I just don't want to live in. Plus she kind of looks hot like this.

Arabella Musgrave has the same kind of parties that I do at my house. The only difference is that I like cardboard cutouts of historical figures. If I had these sitting around my bed, I might start shooting. Karl is already inanimate enough. This would just freak me the hell out if I woke up at 3am and saw Karl staring at me.
The one and only David Byrne. Seriously, I don't think there is another David Byrne who also had a group called Talking Heads. Just don't see it.

As much as I love Dave, I have to say that Charlie Rose is probably my favorite talk show host. A kiss ass for sure, but since I don't know who half his guests are anyway, I don't feel that he has really got those kneepads broken in yet.
Well, pigs must be flying somewhere or Satan (Denise Richards) is playing hockey because Claire Danes is smiling.
I'm sure there are lots and lots of you who think Ben Barnes is just a tall drink of water. To me he kind of looks like a big goober.
And the purpose of this dress is? Maybe she is having lunch with Pimpa or something.
Gary Sinise on the set of CSI.

No matter where you look, I can almost guarantee you that no tabloid is going to post a photo of Griffin Dunne. To me, excluding an actor who did the Toonces movie is just a crime against humanity.
Our first NASCAR driver. Greg Biffle. It will also be the last if they all have to wear a corsage in public.
I think there have been some baseball players, but can't think of any off the top of my head. There have been some people who play with balls, but not sure about baseball. Anyway this is Paul O'Neil and he won the Father Of The Year Award. I think we need to kind of gloss over the fact that Randy Jackson also got an award from the same group.
I actually think David Beckham is a pretty damn good dad.

You know on Project Runway when they go buy fabric and don't get enough of it so they go around to the other contestants and start borrowing different scraps? Those contestants usually get kicked off. Now you know why.

"Now, wait a second. If this is leap year, does that mean next year is 2010?"
John Leguizamo and his new tough guy look. Kind of works.
This is why you never accept acid from a stranger.
Jakob Dylan - New York City
It isn't that Marko Jaric isn't interested in his date. I mean come on, it's Adriana Lima. Even Jake Gyllenhaal would be interested in dating her. No, unfortunately Marko just doesn't want to go to the ballet. He's probably hoping the Met opened a sports bar or something in the lobby.

M.I.A. - New York City
So, sit me in front of the television and offer me 24 hours of Miley Cyrus or 24 hours of Miranda Cosgrove and I will take Miranda Cosgrove every time. Just make sure School Of Rock gets thrown in there a few times.
Michael Buble - Perth
This is FHM India's sexiest woman in the world. Her name is Katrina Kaif.

"So, there I was minding my own business when this guy says, 'Hey Rosie, nice tits.' So, I said to him f**k you, but you really think they are nice?" "Oh, and let me tell you about the time that I went down to the store, and everyone was like 'hey Rosie, you are looking good.'" "Well, of course I was looking good, but I just worked it anyway." "Oh, was I supposed to present some type of award or something?"

My Princess seems in awe of someone who actually smiles and has facial expressions. Learning is a slow process.
What can I say, I am a fan of Ne-Yo.
So, here is the conclusion I have reached vis a vis Nicole Richie and her now 8 consecutive days of going out. Parents work and we don't give them crap about going to work for 10 hours a day so I am not going to give crap to parents who are actors just because they go out for a few hours each night.
I'm not saying that Molly Sims is fun to hang out with because she is a two fisted drinker, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Lets see. A NASCAR driver, a baseball player and now an author. Hell, all I need now is a candlestick maker and I can have a f**king nursery rhyme. This is Stefan Merrill Black by the way. Say hello Stefan.

Seth Myers has been here before, but I don't know if I have ever told everyone to steal "See this Movie." It is extremely funny, but in a very surreal kind of way. Great now I sound like an art critic. I liked it.
Scott Harrison founded charity:water which is one of the very best organizations I can think of. However, his choice of friends. Not so much.
When you wear what Savage is wearing, you are just saying to the world..suck it. I admire that.
Our reader photo. Wow. Ummm. She certainly has lots of guns. I think Tom Cruise would be more terrified by the fact that a woman was in front of him.
It's a Zooey and she looks great by herself. What would happen though if she was not alone. Lets give her a prom.

Now we have a deer in the headlights prom photo. She got knocked up that night so they got married. What if they had a family photo?
With the handsy father-in-law.
The Cribs - Polzeath, UK
Sarah Michelle Gellar on the set of Veronika Decides To Die.


Uber*nought said...

If Reese Witherspoon in a Kimono doesn't make it to the top of the photos, then this is a world I just don't want to live in. Plus she kind of looks hot like this.

If Reese Witherspoon in a spotty bathrobe gets top billing over a perfectly decent and regularly-dressed picture of nice-looking Ben Barnes then it's a world I don't want to live in and I'm now going to go away and drink cyanide in liquid form.

But will be back tomorrow no doubt.

Kristen S. said...


How about some Kenny Wallace, man!

Asslee has some really nice preggo tatas, though.

And Gary Sinise <3

RagDoll said...


In addition to being HAWT (of course) I am reminded of that hotel scene from "Scarface" where the girlfriend of the coke-supplier screams out:

"No te MUEVAS, cav-ron-CITO!!!" at Al Pacino and Steven Bauer when the deal starts to go bad. Y'all remember? The "chainsaw" hotel room?

Is it just me, or is Sarah Michelle Gellar channeling Kate Hudson here???

Anonymous said...

lol, I think we've seen that reader with a gun photo before, right? love the caption, though.

Scott Harrison looks like pre-coke/manorexia Carson Daly.

Molly Sims was due to be on top, Ent. I seem to recall you sticking her near the bottom only a few weeks ago, saying she'd be on top next time. admittedly, she looks not fresh in that photo.

Reese looks like Jon Benet Ramsey - like a 5 year old with way too much makeup on.

I'd keep Marko Jaric interested in going to the ballet with me. Ben Barnes and Hugh Dancy could help out.

Marcy said...

I CANNOT believe you put Paul O'Neill in your photos!!! I am so excited right now and this just solidified your site as my #1 favorite!

lutefisk said...

Ent-- Ashlee & Jessica in the same post? How much did you pay Pimpa to use these?

jw12 said...

marcy- they announced during the yankee game last night that he an Al Liter(sp?) were on vacation with their families in Italy.

Paulie sat in front of me during an Elton John concert a couple of years ago. I was so busy staring at him I didn;t hear a thing Elton said or sang.

Pamela S. said...

Didn't I see that reader photo in the 1998 issue of G. Gordon Liddy's "Stacked and Packed" calendar?

califblondy said...

I'd like to see Tony Stewart with a friggin' corsage. Nope, no way.

Ent, you were right on with the Project Runway reference to Kate Hudson's dress. Too funny.

jw12 said...

Is it me or does Jessica look preggo too?

K said...

Is that Hugh Dancy with Claire Danes? Heck, I'd be grinning too! there's hope for her yet.

And Katrina is pretty, but Bipasha is waaaayyyy prettier (though Katrina has such good rapport with Akshay Kumar in their films)

Unknown said...

I like the Zooey prom pictures with Shamalamadingdong as the "handsy father-in-law."

califblondy said...

I can hear Rosie's voice just looking at the picture. I love her.

jax said...

ok EL i love you but first off Nicole Richie is NOT an acotr and she has nothing to promote so yes i will judge the biotch for going out 8 nights in a row with a newborn at home.

its called being a parent and actors don't get a pass!

reader- that scares me.

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

Marco Jaric looks cross-eyed. He needs to fix.

Great, great photo of Jakob Dylan.

Obviously Ashleeeeeee Simpson was Anna Rexic cuz she has gained a boatload of weight already.

David Byrne with gray hairS? HOMY I am getting old.

Reader Photo - Crack me up with the weapons.

OG Gossipmonger said...

love sarah michelle gellar in her nicole ritchie shades. she has always been my fave & i can't wait to watch 'the air i breathe'.
glad to see only a *minimal* amount of chestbone!!!
i'm not seeing the kate hudson channeling, though!!!!
but, i am seeing the kate hudson/ project runway comparison. that dress is awful! it looks like an evil face!

reese witherspoon - i'm sorry but she is losing her starpower & im sick of her pretending her & jake are an item.

Karl lagerfield lifesize cardboard cutout - NO THANKYOU!! freak me out!!

the big goober guy? - thats Prince caspian right? he's cute!!

david beckham in purple - gimme gimme gimme gimme mooooooooooore

jessica simpson - poor little drunkard. her & george clooney can drown their sorrows together!!

love john leguizamo!!!

& lastly, i totally agree with your conclusion to nicole richie's partying, ent.

*siiiigh* i missed you guys, i've been away tooo long. GROUP HUG!

MontanaMarriott said...

What is with you and Prince Felipe and Letizia of Spain?
Enquiring mind wants to know...........

Unknown said...

That reader photo is too damn funny! LOVES IT!

Wow! Nice boobs, I mean DRESS, Ashlee. Joking aside, with a cute underpinning, that's a cute dress.

Mmmm, Gary Sinise gives me a little tingle every now and then. Is that his own hair? It looks very lush, like I'd like to run my fingers in it. LOL!

Jessica looks utterly lost. And confused. As usual

LOVE John Leguizamo. He's too funny.

what's with Marko Jaric's eyes? He looks like, well, his parents were related or something... Seriously, they're so close! LOL!

Hee! I totally hear Rosie saying that! In New Yorkeese! ;)

You know, I'd love it if I could go out once a week with the hubby without worrying about the little one. Hell, once a MONTH would be nice....

Sinjin said...

#1: Thank you for Buble.

#2: Love the story board on Zooey, too funny.

#3: LIKE Leguizamo with his NY Puerto Rican accent.....however;

#4: Rosie's NY-PR accent is so grating and high pitched, she always seems to me...well Gutter level. I could totally her her saying what you wrote though and it was funny.

Sinjin said...

OH, and her teeth are so small; as if she never lost her baby teeth. That REALLY BUGS ME! LOL

Maja With a J said...

Aahahahahahaha, awesome reader photo!

And Gary Sinise. How random.

catherine said...

i agree with el, your life is not to be chained to the house once you have a baby. speaking from no personal experience but that is probably why people develop postpardom depression - those who feel they should never leave or have a break. if your fortunate enough to have a nanny to relieve you and gain your sanity back for a few hours more power to you.

Laura said...

Wow! Claire Danes is really pretty when she smiles.

Ben Barnes (who?) does look like a big goober.

Holy tits, Asslee!! I never had tits, never got PG tits either.

Kate's dress is truly a mess. While Adriana Lima's dress is gorgeous!

And I agree with gossipmonger, so sick of Reese and Jake's stupid fake love affair! said...

LOL! It's me, you guys.

I was at a lingerie party. My friend and I went into the host's bedroom to try some on, and her husband had those guns on the bed. It was pretty stupid of us to pose with them...notice my fingers are NOWHERE NEAR the trigger. I was scared.

Jazz Hands said...

I think Ashlee Simpson looks good, sorry. Who else is going to wear that dress? Not Ms. So-and-so Housewife. Gotta be a celeb. I think Jessica Simpson looks good, too. Totally effing confused, but good.

jax said...

Brenda! lol hilarious. you're cute!

beyondseattle- i agree all parents should get a break but 8 nights in a row? really what is that saying about the precious bond when you gotta go party everynight for over a week to get a 'break' from your own child? to me it just shows she wasn't prepared or mature enough to let that shit go when she become a mother. IMO.

Unknown said...

"And I agree with gossipmonger, so sick of Reese and Jake's stupid fake love affair!"

God, give it a rest. They're low-key, they avoid premieres and you only ever see them in candids. They wouldn't behave this way if it was for publicity.

I don't see why Reese would need to fake a relationship.

Jazz Hands said...

god, jax, I hate to provoke you, but are you a mom? I was a stay-at-home-mom for 1 full year and a mostly-stay-at-home for the last 5 and all I can say is THANK GOD FOR BREAKS.

Anonymous said...

Oh ok enigma, Reese is so fucking perfect that she has no reason to accept one million dollars to perpetuate a relationship with another major star, not even to rub it in her ex husband's face that he's nothing without her, nope, not Reese.

Miss X said...

Brenda, I love the pic. Of course, I grew up in TX. The only place you will probably ever find a gun-toting Vegan (I'm not referring to myself).

Jax, I'm going to have to disagree w/ you. Being a mom is a 24/7 job. As long as the baby's being taken care of and Nicole isn't out getting wasted, who cares?

Now if she doesn't really take care of the kid during the day, that would bug me. I hate to watch parents turn their kids over to the nanny just b/c the nanny is there & they don't want to deal with the kid.

lutefisk said...

Brenda, you remind me of Melanie Griffith in Something Wild.

WTF said...

Wow, Jessucka is sure packing on the pounds. Her and the quarterback must be over.

jw12 said...

My thing is if Nicole is really taking care of that baby then she is to damn tired to go out 7 nights in a row. said...

Adrian, all I'm missing is an Antonio Banderas. And some big-ass lips.

lutefisk said...

Don't forget to throw in Ryan & Tatum O'neil to complete the picture. Then you are set!

selenakyle said...

Man, that Marko dude's eyes are WAY too close together. Freaky. I had to look back several times to see what was up.

selenakyle said...

Nicole is jacked up and Mischa is high as hell.

Unknown said...

more Ben Barnes, please *melts*

great reader photo - looks like from a movie

hehe love the Zooey photos

Martin Devon said...

They wouldn't behave this way if it was for publicity. I don't see why Reese would need to fake a relationship.


Reese and Jake did all those 127 photo opportunities for PR. Reese is and always was a major PR wh*re and she worked hard for all those "new relationship" tabloid covers.

Why is she doing it? Because she was dumped for a younger woman and doesn't want to look like a looser, had four recent flops and embarrassed herself with a piece of shit called Penelope, needs PR for her Avon deal.

Who would report about uninteresting and unattractive Reese without her fauxmance with Jake?

Bad Ass Momma said...

Really with the Wallace family?...wouldn't be able to look. no offense personal opinion/personal meet. Love me some racers but certain ones...not so much

MnGddess said...



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