Friday, September 03, 2010

Michael Lohan Says God Talks To Him


Whether or not you believe in a higher power, I think most of us can agree that said higher power probably has a lot better things to do with their time than to talk to Michael Lohan. Well, if you believe Michael Lohan, and why wouldn't you believe a guy who tries to sell his daughter's rehab diary, been accused of beating up the past two or three girlfriends and sold conversations he had with his daughter, he says God talks to him and told him to open a rehab.

Not, a pinkberry or Carvel, or mesh shirt factory, and not even a Mailbox, etc. Nope, God told Michael Lohan specifically that he needs to open a rehab. "After seeing what my daughter, myself and other people I know have been through, it has led me to realize this is my calling and purpose in life. All of the things that have happened to me in my life have led to this. I know this is what God wants me to do first and foremost."

I think God would have probably wanted you to stop exploiting your daughter and to put on a shirt that does not show your nipples. At that point maybe God would have spoken to you about a career path. There is nothing Michael Lohan would probably love more than operating a rehab clinic so he could have a steady stream of clients he could sell secrets and photos of to the tabloids. If he is willing to sell his own daughter's rehab diary, how safe do you think the average person would be?

21 comments:

Sylvia said...

If GOD is telling him anything is probably to stop wearing that stupid mesh-shirt LOLOLOL.

mazemerizing said...

I didn't think it possible, but Enty, I think you're more obsessed with Michael Lohan than Michael Lohan is.

Lana's Blog said...

OMG that picture. I need it destroyed.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Wow. Someone really needs to put down the crack pipe.
So now, instead of just exploiting Lindsay, he wants to exploit everyone else he can get through those doors?
Who does he think he is? L Ron Hubbard?

Cheryl said...

Ah, mesh shirt Friday. Try being a father, you freak.

RubyDust said...

My sister-ini-law told us God told her she didn't have to repay the money we loaned her.
She's a nut just like Michael Lohan. I guess if you're a complete narcissist it's easy to claim your actions are directives from God. Idiots, all of 'em.

__-__=__ said...

I'm sure God has forgiven him for all the mess he created too.

Ms Cool said...

I think God told me that Michael Lohan is a douche.

Kate said...

Where was God when he was kicking his ex girlfriend in the head and calling her all sorts of names? I hate that man.

Momster said...

"Ah, mesh shirt Friday."

LOL! I much preferred Full-frontal Fridays.

RocketQueen said...

Great idea, Michael. So is this where you will keep your girlfriends, considering you've accused each one in the last few years of using cocaine?

I'm not a religious person, but I would think that genuinely religious people might take offense to this jack-off making such ridiculous claims to justify his behaviour, which has, for the most part, been reprehensible.

sunnyside1213 said...

I am calling God right now. This photo has to go.

This is my life said...

Oh Enty, my eyes! Please post a warning when you use this picture.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I'm putting this picture on my fridge. The Michael Lohan Diet.

ardleigh said...

Why couldn't God have told him to wander the desert for 40yrs bothering --I mean preaching only to lizards and cacti? Why?

MCH said...

I believe he hears voices I just don't think they come from God. Didn't White Oprah tell Matt Lauer that Lindsey also wanted to open a rehab. Those who can't "do" teach?

Caroline said...

I hate this entire fucking family.

J said...

and dont forget that prince charming took nude pics of his former gf and attempted to sell them

he's such a sleaze and waste of space

Ally Bee said...

I used to work in mental health. There are usually two kinds of patients that claim that God is personally talking to them:

1. Patients with psychosis e.g. manic phase of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia.

2. The personality disordered, i.e. the psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists.

Michael Lohan falls into category 2. He's probably controlled and manipulated people his entire life by saying he personally knows what "God wants for them".

Or, to put it plainly: what God wants for someone is what Michael Lohan wants for them, because Michael Lohan believes that he is God.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Wait... you mean Michael Lohan's *not* God?
I missed that memo.

Sherry said...

He is so desperate & skeevy.