Monday, March 17, 2008

I Want To Hear The Tape


Mariah Carey is in Allure Magazine this month and gives an interview. I think the problem is that her reps or the interviewer are too in love with Mariah, and allowed this sentence to be printed in explanation for why she is shy and conservative at home and raunchy in public.

"It's a dichotomy, I understand. I understand that people think I'm a ditzy moron. But I'm more like a prude! I'm Mary Poppins. I'm what the buttoned-up girls are supposed to be."

First of all, I wish she were Mary Poppins. We could go ahead and make the remake right now. When I was a wee lad, I would have much preferred having Mariah Carey giving me a spoonful of sugar, than Julie Andrews. No offense, but Mr. Banks would probably not have been quite such a tight ass if he had Mariah to come home to every night. Of course she would have sucked him dry of every cent in his bank though. Also, I don't know how she even knows what a buttoned up girl is supposed to be because I don't think she has ever even managed to get two buttons buttoned on any outfit she has ever worn.

Anyway, the point of this was to ask yourself honestly if Mariah Carey used the word dichotomy in a sentence. Did she do it? Could she do it on the spot with the interviewer there, or did she send a follow-up e-mail with her word of the day? Mariah Carey is not dumb. I don't want anyone to think that I think she is dumb. She pretends to be dumb because she thinks that is what her fans want, but she is not dumb. She is a diva. No pretending there. But although not dumb as in box of rocks dumb, I still don't see her uttering that word unless she and her people practiced it for days beforehand in anticipation of such a question. I really would like to hear the tape where she says it. Because now I am going to wonder how many of these interviews allegedly done with celebrities are really just written out in advance and some dude thinks of a great answer and e-mails back.

20 comments:

jax said...

"When I was a wee lass, I would have much preferred"

something you want to tell us EL?
its LAD..not LASS ya big girl.
lol.

and top o' the morning to ya!!!

The Oklahoma Hippy said...

Uh... George Wendt? J/k

ent lawyer said...

Lad, Lass. I'm drunk who cares.

YahMoBThere said...

Jax, you beat me to the punch. WHO is writing THIS???

EL, your reply doesn't sound reasonable. You're a lawyer? And that's all you could come up with?

You know I love you, but you didn't write that blurb - just admit it....the way you wanted Fergie to be more honest. ;-P

captivagrl said...

i'm not a MIMI fan, but she looked great on SNL. the second song with the clownish dude was awful. she has the same tired moves and fake "thank you so much, i love you" smile.

RagDoll said...

Allure isn't known for its...um....eh....journalistic integrity, shall we say? Remember, this month's cover girl (Kate Beckinsale) says (with a straight face, I presume) that she never had a nose job, she simply lost baby fat (huh? In the tip of your nose? When you're in your 30's?) and that photos of her which clearly show her with breast implants were simply taken at a time when she had "gained some weight" (yeah, only in your chest, eh, Katie?) I don't know if Allure prints this stuff to make their subjects look like total liars (they generally present a series of photos spanning a star's lifetime when they do a feature) or to further the delusion....

weezy said...

I bet our Mariah will be in seclusion for a while, until the Governor-and-the-ho scandals (there are now several) fade away.

On the other hand, based on their track record her handlers are probably submitting her name to play Ashley/Kristen in the made-for movie about the Shame of Spitzer. And doing so without a bit of irony.

YahMoBThere said...

Ragdoll - she said that??? LMAO!! If women DID gain weight in their noses during pregnancy, I would have looked like W.C. Fields or Karl Malden.

RagDoll said...

Twis--

She said that....the thing that makes me wonder if Allure isn't being secretly snarky to these celeb feature subjects is that they include such OBVIOUS pics in the article. And the Kate B./nosejob thing was featured in the same magazine that did a big spread on Dr. Raj Kanodia and Ashlee Simpson/Jennifer Aniston/Cam Diaz/Ashley Tisdale and THEIR nosejobs....so, to quote kate on a nosejob only 20 pages after the big "Celebrity Nose Job Doctor" article (literally titled-ready for this?- DOC HOLLYWOOD) ...that all just seems a little suspect. An actress pontificating on rhinoplasty 20 pages after a spread on some rhinoplasty doc. My subtlety. Let me show you it. LMAO!!

jax said...

play on playa!
lol..save some green beer for the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Mariah looks like she had work done in her body. She was kind of chunky before.

IndigoBlue said...

I hate Mariah. Her "love me! love me! love me!" vibe is nauseating.

RagDoll said...

Sylvia,

yeah. I always pegged her for a lipo patient, myself.

MnGddess said...

Ent - if you read Mariah's lyrics, she uses lots of big words. In fact, she's a damn fine lyricist.

It's her breathy, "I'm sooo hot" voice she thinks everyone loves. Everytime I hear it I want to punch her.

Unknown said...

If you don't gain weight in your nose during pregnancy- what the hell happened to J-Lo?

Sydney in Wonderland said...

You can totally gain weight in your nose during pregnancy. Some women say that's the first place they see it (though breasts are the tell-tale for most). But, I read that to mean she lost her own baby fat, the kind that makes you chunky as a kid, rather than fat from having a baby. No?

Anonymous said...

@April

Here, here! Her nose swelled up big time! She looks like a pig!!

Anonymous said...

I should add, more so than usual!

RagDoll said...

Yeah, if you read Kate Beckinsale's comment in context her statement is meant to mean her own baby fat, not her "baby weight" And she contends she lost this "baby fat" around the time she shot Van Helsing...which made her, what? 30, 32?

Anonymous said...

Mariah is all over the place. I have seen her in interviews and she sounds like a scholar, then other times she sounds like she just came back from spring break in Cancun

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