Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Jack Wagner Won't Stop Playing That Song - Heather Locklear Enters Funny Farm

In all fairness, I think Jeff Foxworthy came up with the formula, but here is my little take.

You might need the nuthouse if your drunken husband cheats on you with Denise Richards.

You might need the nuthouse if your drunken husband leaves you for a former hooker.

You might need a nuthouse if you have sex with David Spade. Voluntarily.

You might need a nuthouse if you think about what it was like when you were working with William Shatner and he had your home phone number.

You might need a nuthouse if you had to listen to "All I Need" 24/7 including every mix/sample/version ever recorded in any language.

You might need the nuthouse if you had to watch Jack Wagner install any more mirrors so he can look at himself all day everyday.

You might need a nuthouse if your drunken ex-husband goes out drinking and driving with your daughter in the back seat...and nothing happens to him.

"Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment," says the actress's rep, Cece Yorke. "This is a confidential medical matter and no further statement will be released."

Get better Heather. How about a Melrose Place reunion? Big bucks. No whammies. Plus, some of the cast could use the paycheck. It would be one hell of a run. Just like a Melrose Place mini-series. Four nights for two hours each night. People would be glued.


lutefisk said...

Poor Ava--I hope Heather makes a quick recovery.

califblondy said...

Hate to refer to Ted C. here, but didn't he hint quite some time ago that Heather was into drugs (coke)?

Whatever it is I hope she gets better.

Ice Angel said...

For someone who prides themselves on "kindness plugs" I am very disappointed in your choice of words for this title, Ent.

Mental illness is a very serious problem for many people, including myself. As a mother of two young children myself, I am so grateful that I decided to check myself into a mental health facility when I became so depressed I could no longer see a reason to live. Thanks to my own courage and the support of my family and doctors and the proper meds, my boys now have a happy and healthy mom.

I wish Heather best wishes on her recovery. For someone to take a step like that knowing the world press will be on it right away takes a tremendous amount of courage.

Kristen S. said...

Good luck to her

kris said...

seems to me I've heard several time over the years about her substance abuse, perhaps this more of a rehab type stay as opposed to mental health...either way it takes balls to check in. good luck.

Unknown said...

Wasn't she the one who was on suicide watch a while ago? I think her doctor was worried that she was suicidal but hadn't actually attempted to kill herself. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Ayesha said...

Seriously. It's good that she's getting help. Please don't call it a funny farm; that stigmatizes treatment, and that's not good.

jax said...

well we now know her doc wasn't lying but her publicist was!
i'd need the bin too if i lived in that 3 ring circus.

Ice Angel said...

A change in anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds can cause suicidal thoughts. I am sure her doctor was worried about her at the time. It sounds like she is having a difficult time adjusting her meds. She is in a good place now to safely do that. I wish her the best of luck.


This post proves without a doubt that it is still open season on mental illness and the people who live with it in America.

We have censored ourselves quite well against sounding sexist, racist, and homophobic, but you can still get away with trivializing and insulting the mentally ill.

When is it going to STOP being accepted?

jax said...

joy if you think sexism, racism and homophobia is gone and censored then i'd like to know where you're living...


I didn't say it was gone.

My point was that it is un-PC to speak against the above minority groups except for the mentally ill.

Unknown said...

Oh, lighten up! I'm with Jax. The publicist lied and the psych do was right when he called 911 to say she was suicidal. They tried to cover it up but reality was another story.

I always thought Heather had her sh*t together. Turns out she's just like every other high strung actress out there.

And don't give me the mental illness around America bit -- they're all wacky in Hollywood.

Amy in MI said...

Hopefully she can show this in a good light, somewhat like what Brooke Sheilds did for PPD. But yeah, if I had to deal with what she did, I would probably be in the same place (except not rich). And the mental ward isn't so bad. I had to stay there 3 days when I had a reaction between Xanax and Percocet and didn't sleep for 5 days. They thought I was bipolar. I saw some people who were WAYYYYY bad. Inspiried me to become a nurse.


Grace, you are clueless. I was not referring to the publicist.

Mental illness in America is not a "bit" to be given. It's the last minority in this country that continues to be either ignored or trivialized.

califblondy said...

It's the last minority in this country that continues to be either ignored or trivialized.

I thought that "title" belonged to the obese? But, I guess that might be the majority in this country now.

jax said...

well you better get started cluing us in Joy..you got another 10,000 websites to go after this one!

not to be a bitch..might i suggest a kinder gentler watered down web for you to try?

jax said...

Schizephrenia can suck it Joy? doesnt sound like a good PC blog name you have there!

thats offensive to people with schizo.

SHE SHE said...

Didn't your momma's teach you girls any goddamn manners? MEOW and then some - yikes! Try a little fricken' Midol why don't ya.

I'm gonna go beat the shit out of mental people now. Just kidding.

catherine said...

having worked with quite a few children with different mental illness, many struggle with the stigma alone, adults and children often keep it hidden and are ashamed. i believe it is one of the last minorities and joy is right in 10 years it probably wont be pc to call it funny farm ect ect/ 15 years ago people would not even want to admit to seeing a psychiatrist let alone admit to going into the hospital. that is slowly changing and it is more accepted- hope the best for heather,

catherine said...

and sheetrock, you totally just cracked me up- ;)


Jax, your comments are pitiful and woefully ignorant.

gossiphound said...

jax you are a bitch. maybe you need a stint in the "funny farm". joy was trying to make a point and you can't stand for anyone else to have an opinion on this blog but you. you always trivialize things that mean something. why don't you grow up?

Unknown said...

I am so down with a Melrose Place reunion! Although I don't like Grant Show. I tried to watch Swingtown and he was in it and I turned it off.

audrey said...

I just spent the afternoon visiting my daughter in a Mental Health facility. My beautiful, smart 18 year old has been battling an ED, anxiety and depression for the past few years, and I have to tell you I feel helpless. How am I supposed to kiss and make this all better, like moms are supposed to do? So I sit and listen to her and nod and smile and tell her I love her, and then come home and fall apart.

lutefisk said...

audieh--keep doing what you are doing. Your daughter needs your love right now. We will all send good thoughts your way and hope your daughter is receiving the help she needs.

Katja said...

I don't think it's the last minority, there will always be something else. I love Heather L. When I was living in LA for a few years I saw her driving next to me sobbing late at night when she was going through the Tommy Lee break up. I've always thought about how tired she must be she has worked constantly since she did those 2 shows at the same time. Has anyone else even done that since? What a work ethic!

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I would just like to point out the small but IMPORTANT fact that Heather Locklear didn't work with William Shatner...that was Heather THOMAS. Not that anybody really noticed the difference back then, either.

lutefisk said...

brendalove--Heather Locklear most definitely played Stacy on TJ Hooker--I watched that all the time.

libby said...

I'm not going to go into my personal issues, which are many, which are great, and may actually kill me.

The brain is part of the body. PERIOD.

No illness is funny. No one chooses this life.

I feel for Heather because, as one of the other posters said, her privacy is always at a minimum.

And to the person who said she saw Heather sobbing in her car late at night---I've done that myself many times.
I know a few of you out there can relate as well.

I feel for you, Heather. You are loved!

Here is a fact: Worldwide, there are approximately 1 MILLION COMPLETED suicides every year, and 10-20 million attempts.

In 2005, there were just over 500,000 deaths from breast cancer:

Mental illness kills.

Think about it.

kasnecka said...

Depression, anxiety, and compulsive eating/obesity are all things that those who've never experienced them address by saying, "c'mon, pull yourself together and get over it already." Drug addicts seem to get more understanding.

Oh, and back pain, too. That's something people often get and say they used to think suffers exaggerated until something happened to their own backs. My husband used to laugh at me for rolling out of bed when I ruptured a disk (that disk has since been replaced with a spinal fusion). He laughed and joked until he fell on his face lifting a 50-lb. bag at work. He couldn't make it up the stairs, and he "only" had a muscle injury. If you've ever had a similar epiphany, you might try taking our word for it when we say that mental illness isn't something to be made light of. It's a physiologic phenomenon and is not always easy to treat. I've been on meds for 5 years, traveling hours at a time to go to experts at an Ivy League school. Feel 50% better, but still feel like crap most of the time. So g*dd*mn right I'm testy about the subject--it's hard to keep trying to fight it when there's no hope in sight.

Heather Locklear is awesome; I admire her and people like Brooke Shields who have the "balls" to put themselves under scrutiny, educate others, and get the treatment they need, regardless of what others say. There courage has done more than most of us ever will to make the world a better place.


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