Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Rachel Bilson Finally Gets A Ring

Dear Rachel,

Thank you. Thank you for finally going out and buying some kind of ring to make this whole engagement thing look more real. I think even your most ardent fans and people who want to believe that you and Hayden are actually a couple were having a tough time understanding why you have not worn an engagement ring the entire two months you have allegedly been engaged. I mean, I would think you would be excited and thrilled to be engaged and would love showing off your ring to the world. Wasn't Hayden upset that you had not bothered to wear it even once over the past two months?

Whatever it was, I think your decision to go out and buy one this past week was a great idea. These are the things you need to think about before you have your publicists announce an engagement. It isn't as bad as Hugh Grant forgetting the ring in Four Weddings And A Funeral, but it doesn't quiet the rumors when you have been photographed a million times since the holidays and have never been photographed once wearing a ring.

Now, with you flashing that ring directly into the eye of the camera lens, people can stop wondering if you are really engaged. If you go to the trouble of wearing one you must be engaged right? By the way, can I just say that you are buying enough groceries to feed an army. You are like a one person stimulus there.

As I have said to you before and offered many times, I would be happy to sit down and discuss with you your engagement to Hayden and to share your joyful news with the world, but I doubt you will sit with anyone to explain and I sincerely doubt that ring will last on your finger much beyond the date of the premiere of your next movie.

Love Always,


P.S. I still feel bad about knocking you over at the bookstore and I'm just grateful you were not Nicky Hilton or you would have made a citizen's arrest and I would still probably be floundering in the judicial system.

P.P.S. When you talk to Mischa, please tell her that all of us are worried about her career and there is no shame in working at In-N-Out.


Pookie said...

wow, enty. why all the rachel bilson hate?

i mean, i get the whole annoyance-at-her-bearding thing. but that aside, she's not douchey à la mischa or fishsticks paltrow mode.

Anonymous said...


jax said...

i get it. she's trying to stay relevant while pulling the wool over our eyes.
Deception...the public does not like to be deceived. ask Tom Cruise.

Emma31 said...

LOVE IT! The "letters" always put a smile on my face!

K said...

Dear EL,

First Sean Penn, now a Bilson/Hilton/Barton hat trick.

My unholy love for you grows exponentially when you are in a bad mood. Please add me to your list of future wives.

FrenchGirl said...

Enty,i love you when you're in bad mood! Too funny

ElsieFire said...

National Enquirer is saying Efron and Hudgens are engaged. Perhaps this is the blind, not Rachel and Hayden.

For the record, I have to add that I don't believe that he's gay. I do think he is a bad actor however.

BlackseatDriver said...

I freakin love In-n-Out...Starbucks is a ghost town, but there's 40 F%cking cars at the drive through, and packed inside...every day..

bionic bunny! said...

that's because you can feed a family of four at in-n-out for the cost of two fancy coffees at starbucks.

damn it! now i want a double-double!

stiffkittens said...

Enty & Mischa make the perfect avenger/arch nemesis team!

Oh, and the engagement to a gay thing is just ridiculous. Why does she do it? I don't get what she gets out of it.

LAZamboangaTimesDotCom said...

dear webmaster:
if you did not pay (Ramey Pix or fame Pictures) to use Rachel Bilson's picture above, please remove it from your site. I am the photographer who took the picture and own the full rights to them. ou may be breaking the law by using my images without paying for them. Thank you.
e-mail: johnshinn3@gmail.com

slappywhyte said...

you knocked her over at a bookstore? ... haha classic ... of course she prob is about 5'1" 90 lbs -- were you running to buy a cookbook?


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