Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Eat Your Fruits And Vegetables And Have An Orgasm


The National Health Service of Britain is in a little bit of hot water. They have a new campaign out for school children that just cracks me up. It tells all school children that they should have five portions of fruits and vegetables every day. That is five more than I have, but I can see why they would encourage that. I mean I don't exactly lead a healthy lifestyle. They also suggest that you exercise three times a week for 30 minutes. Again, not something I am prepared to do, but I will watch an infomercial of someone exercising. I do find that amusing.

Now, most people would think the 30 minutes of physical activity would be jogging or some yoga. Maybe some kind of sport. I mean the idea for those of you who do enjoy exercise is to get some type of cardiovascular benefit from it so it make sense that the activity is something that makes your heart pump. Well, sports and jogging were not the first suggestions from the government. Nope. Their suggestion? "What about sex or masturbation twice a week? An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away."

When I was growing up I thought the slogan was an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Apparently now all I have to do is watch porn a few times a week and I get the same exact benefit. I wish I had that excuse when I was growing up. It would have avoided those uncomfortable, awkward knocks on the bathroom door. "What are you doing in there for so long?" "I'm exercising."

22 comments:

Mooshki said...

I think it's brilliant. In the words of the immortal George M., "Sex is natural, sex is fun!" Treating sex as taboo just messes people up.

Mooshki said...

And btw Enty, can I volunteer to help you work off some of your extra pounds? ;)

jlb said...

lmao I can hear the last lines in George & Estelle Costanzas' voices.

AnonMom said...

Am I the only one who's embarrased?!

MontanaMarriott said...

I LOVE IT!
and so agree, sex is wonderful for weight loss and as the late great Joan Crawford used to say, "sex is great for the complexion"

Lisa (original) said...

LMAO at "I'm exercising." :-D

ms_wonderland said...

I think they meant the kind of sex that involves more activity than just a little wrist action Enty.

ardleigh said...

Wow, can you imagine the billboards and public service messages for that campaign?
They could borrow a few:

Milk's: It does a body good.

Nike's: Just do it.

M&M's would have to change. "Melts in your mouth & your hand"

Timex:Take's a licking...

Life cereal: Hey Mikey likes it

Coke: The pause that refreshes

Am. Express: Never leave home without it.

Babs said...

This campaign is aimed at schoolchildren? I'm all for the "sex is natural", etc., bandwagon, but how is that appropriate for kids?

Isabel said...

Listen, my little cousin is a compulsive wanker and he's as healthy as a tri-athlete. I wholeheartedly believe this advice.

jax said...

"sex is best when it's one..on one."

sure George...sure.lol.

i'm all for anything that gets these fat lil buggers off the couch and away from the video games. i've never seen so many obese kids in my life walking around these days. it is not right.

Karmen said...

Ha. Awesome.

selenakyle said...

Well, that settles it--I'm gonna live to be 100!

I get 30 mins of exercise more than three times a week AND eat my veggies AND have a few big O's each week.

I knew Mr. Blue would be a life saver!

Mooshki said...

Babs, I think they're talking teenagers, not little kids.

Anonymous said...

My arm would fall off if I masturbated for a half hour at a time. Crikey.

shakey said...

Could you imagine the rise in carpal tunnel syndrome?

"What's wrong with your hand?"

"Wanker's Cramp."

jax said...

then you're clearly not doing it right. ;o)

jax said...

kim you're following me!lol

bionic bunny! said...

@jax (12:10):
as long as they're not doing it on my front lawn!!
lol!!

hmm. what if one wanks off with fruits and/or vegetables? 5 times a day, or 3 times a week?
inquiring minds want to know!

mooshki, you're so right. this would never fly in the states, we're so damn uptight. kill 'em but don't fuck 'em (who said that? george carlin?).

selenakyle said...

@bionicbunny!--IIRC, Jack Nicholson once complained about the MPAA ratings system or whatever as: "if you kiss a tit in a movie, the rating is X, but if you chop it off, the rating is R."

Pretty f*cked up sexual repression we got here in the good ol' USA.

selenakyle said...

Parents apparently have no problem letting their kids go see a piece of total sh*t movie like Saw or Hostel but OMG--don't suck face! Wear total slut clothes but wear your chastity ring, OMG!!!

ahdaboom said...

yeah, the thing is this ad is aimed at "school children", not teens or young adults. disturbing.

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