Friday, May 28, 2010

Charlie Sheen And His Four Options


TMZ has discovered the four options Charlie Sheen has been offered by Aspen prosecutors. Unfortunately none of them appear to involve becoming a eunuch or being beaten by all the women he has used and abused over the years. Instead he is left with all of these very cushy choices.

OPTION 1: Charlie will plead guilty to a misdemeanor and serve 30 days in Aspen jail. With good behavior, that time could be whittled down to 17 days. After he serves his sentence, the case would be over. Charlie would not be placed on probation.

OPTION 2: Charlie would plead guilty to a misdemeanor and receive no jail time, but would be placed on 2 years probation.

OPTION 3: Charlie would receive a "deferred prosecution" -- meaning the case would not go forward but Charlie would agree to various conditions -- including not breaking the law. After a certain period of time -- if Charlie complies with the conditions -- the matter would be expunged from his record.

OPTION 4: Go to trial and fight it.

I say he goes with Option 1. 17 days in jail in what is known as one of the top 5 jails in America doesn't sound very harsh and then he is free to abuse drugs or women without the judge being able to do anything about it. It sucks, but at least he would serve some time in jail. God I hate this f**ker. How is it possible he is going to earn $2M a week when he is such scum.

18 comments:

Lisa (original) said...

I'd choose Door #3!

bflogurl said...

Our judicial system is so effed up...

timebob said...

i agree with Enty. He signed the contract with CBS so he is guarenteed the 2 mill per eppie. Plus CBS doesn't seem to care how abusive he is to women. And I guess America just love to laugh along with him on that drivel of a show so advetisers aren't going to boycott it.

This whole thing was about not being on probation with Charlie you know he is going to continue to stalk women and do something out of order. I can't believe Aspen jail could be that bad. They prolly get extra marshmellows in their hot chocolate in the morning.

Sorka8 said...

Gheeze this just blows. Does the average screw up get even GET FOUR OPTIONS?
I bet no, unless you happen to be some sort of scewed up celebrity.I hope he choses jail, just because I like the idea of him behind bars.

I'm still pissed at the judge who let Lohan off with no jail time.

It certainly pays to be a celeb in this nation.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I think two or three are the best. Three, followed by two. I mean, expunged!! That's pretty sweet.

chopchop said...

Every time I'm disappointed by our justice system I close my eyes and remember Paris Hilton sobbing in the back of a paddy wagon. It never gets old.

ThoughtElf said...

Please let him pick 1. And dump his azz in general pop instead of some cushy celeb cell. Maybe Bubba will pimp him out for a change? ;>

Dianne P said...

I don't think he will take option #3, because he knows he can't stop doing bad shit. Unless...He takes option #3 and uses his $2M per episode to pay off whomever he victimizes or whoever catches him with his pants down. That might work.

Adventurous Kate said...

God, that's a creepy picture.

Agree with Enty -- I think he'd be stupid not to take option 1. And if he takes option 2, his lawyer is an idiot, because it's not if he'll do something again -- it's when.

Jess said...

I think #1 and #3 are the best, I would like him to choose the first one. The sad part is that the average Joe would go to jail no matter what.

nancer said...

he'll take option 1. that way he gets out after 2 weeks and it's all done. probation's risky when you're a complete asshole with no self-control.

__-__=__ said...

Another one that deserves full custody of ALL his kids.

RocketQueen said...

Ah, thank you chopchop. Now *I'm* picturing Paris Hilton sobbing in the back of that wagon. That was awesome.

Ms.Leigh said...

i'm still shocked by his ridiculous paychecks... $2m a WEEK??! it's JUST a sitcom (decent at best); he's JUST an actor (if you call being yourself in front of a camera "acting")

i pick option #5 f*ck off and never come back

Wil said...

Oh Please please please .. let him pick 4!! Then I want a max sentence when the jury finds his abusing ass guilty.

I say we boycott CBS .. because really .. most of their shows suck anyway [Apologies to Alyson Hannigan.]

MCH said...

I bet he picks 3 or 4.

sunnyside1213 said...

He would be a fool to fight it.

PollyPureBred said...

I'm still trying to figure out why people watch that suck-ass show..?

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