Tuesday, October 01, 2019

Your Turn

Worst date ever.

48 comments:

Zebra Seasoning said...

10/31/1999

sandybrook said...

9/11/2001

MyDogSmiles said...

Girl gets wasted on pills and booze and I have to carry her out of the bar.

Mischi said...

my friends told my crush in high school that I liked him and gave him my phone number. He called me, and we agreed to meet. He had no idea who I was. So, he likes what he sees, and we agree to go on a date. He comes to pick me up and drives me to his very liberal parents' house and brings me to his room so we could have sex. I refused of course, he got angry, and he drove me home.

Do Tell said...

A guy that turned out to be a raving bigot.

Pissoff said...

@Mischi Was he the super predator Aziz Ansari?

V said...

First date with a guy. We're at dinner. Applebee's (we were broke college kids, Applebee's was fancy). About halfway through dinner he says "so, how would you feel about peeing on me?" No judgment, but IMO this is something you bring up after you've been on a few dates and NOT while you're eating. The look on my face must have communicated something to the guy because he said "I sense you're uncomfortable with this" and I said yes, yes I really am. And so he says "I understand. How about you pee on the floor and I can just roll around in it?" I excused myself, walked out to my car, and drove myself home. Never heard from pee guy again. FWIW I was torn between this and a couple of other stories for which was actually my worst date.

HannahPalindrome said...

A guy picked me up on a motorcycle, took me to a Harley Davidson convention, ate chili for lunch, and drove me to his house which was decorated in animal print. I’m not into motorcycles or animal print.

JD said...

Tinder date. She opens with, "I'm polyamorous," I'm like OK, this is new but I can roll with it. Then spends the whole date telling me about her boyfriend and all the sex parties they go to, how her last boyfriend recently called her and told her to get tested for Chlamydia, and just on and on. I couldn't believe it. I actually asked if she was fucking with me, just trying to find my breaking point. She swore she wasn't, so I just said goodbye.

Gator said...

A double date in college with a complete jerk, he almost got us arrested.

Dane said...

Mydogsmiles, It sounds like this old song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vOUFiKXRLpk&list=RDvOUFiKXRLpk&start_radio=1

DavidHowesCREBroker said...

34 years ago, I had one date with an 'actress' that was set up by a friend and his girlfriend. (She was a friend of the Girlfriend.)
Never again.

The next date I had was with the non-actress woman who lived in the Hollywood apartment right next door to me.

Been with her ever since!

DarylsBigFan said...

About 9 years ago. My long term bf who I was madly in love with. (We were looking at houses together ..he knew my kids, etc ) He ordered a roast beef sandwich in a pub. Then he broke up with me.





not a libtard said...

A bit of a longish story but totally worth it.

So we met at a sushi bar, sitting next to each other, we ate, talked and hit it off, went on 2 dates, the second date his brother came along. It was a lunch date. I was in my late 20s, him a divorcee, in his late 30s. Big bro early 40s. Approved of me, told me so in front of date.
I thought 'oh how refreshing, this guy knows what he wants and doesn't waste any time'.

Didn't hear from him again for one and a half years!

FF 1.5 years, he texts me 'hey beautiful, how are you?' I was shocked. I was also engaged!
Anyway, I thought I'd play along, just to get a little payback. I mean, who the fuck does this guy think he is? He really thinks I'm gonna sit around waiting for his text for a year and a half?

Anyway, I'm super sweet, we arrange to meet for dinner. I get my hair done, put on a sexy top, a red lip, and sway into the restaurant. He's clearly impressed. I tell him how hungry I am, let him order and obscene amount of food and tuck in. We talk casually, my plan was to reveal after the dinner that I was engaged, but suddenly he says 'why haven't you called? It's been like what, 6 months?'

I say 'more like a year and a half actually'. To which he replies 'you're crazy.' I say 'it's November, this summer I was travelling with my fiancee and the summer before, I met him. You and I went out before that in April, so that's 1 and half years'.

He suddenly jumps up, yells 'you're psycho' and starts walking out, I stop the waitress, point to all the food on the table and say calmly 'you might wish to stop that man, because I'm certainly not paying for all of this'. She runs after him and she and the manager catch him at the door, take him back inside and make him pay. I watch him while I continue eating.

All of this was witnessed by a couple sitting next to us. After he left, the woman next to me said 'well played, my husband and I are very impressed'.

So I suppose that was probably HIS worst date.

DavidHowesCREBroker said...

FYI: I like @Sandybrook's answer.

Mozart said...

First date: Guy invites me to see a play he wrote and laughs way too loudly at all of his own jokes through the whole thing. Then dinner, where he proceeded to talk non-stop about 2 subjects: his crazy ex-girlfriend and William Shatner. Then he had an allergic reaction to something he ate and caused a huge commotion in the dining area and then the bathroom of the restaurant. It was just hives. We drove to a CVS for some benadryl. While sitting in his parked car, he proceeded to call his mom, who is an RN, on speakerphone. He awkwardly introduced me to his mother while letting out slow-burn SBD farts in the closed, not-running car. I had to keep getting out and just stand in the parking lot to breathe fresh air. I finally made some excuse to leave and walked a mile to the train station to go home. I was 30, he was 35.

NancyFromNebraska said...

The one one that was more of a kidnapping than a date.

momo said...

Oh this one is easy. It's 1983 and I am a travel agent and lifeguard, single, 20 and still living with my parents. Apparently I gave some guy I didn't remember my phone number, and he starts calling but I am never home because I had two jobs and damn I was 20. So my mom tells me about this very nice gentleman who keeps calling and he wants to take me out to dinner. He talks my mom's ear off because he is an RN and so was my mother. She tells me, for god's sake let this man take you to dinner. He is smart and nice and blah blah.

So I call him back finally, or take his call, and arrange for the date. He picks me up, nice car, and takes me to this restaurant that Elvis loved. This was in Memphis. It was BYOB as were many places in Memphis then, and we brought scotch. lol So about ten minutes in I get the feeling he is insane, but I don't know how to extract. I start drinking a bit and we get steaks. He asks if I want to go somewhere else after dinner and I thought well shit I should at least get him to take me to a place I want to be, so I tell him about this club - I knew the band that was playing so I thought if things got weird I would at least be amongst friends. It's a punk bar that is still open called the Antennae Club. Also BYOB but sold beer, for the record. I lost him as fast as I could in the crowd. He knew it wasn't his scene and was very uncomfortable.

I didn't think about it much after that. I was young busy and kind of shallow, frankly. I got a ride home from a friend. SO my mom calls me at work and tells me that - we will call him Frank - Frank called and he has been in the hospital. After our date he ran off the road on purpose, he said, because he was so upset and how it had turned out. He had broken bones, etc and he ran into an embankment. My mother was pissed at ME. I soon moved out of my parent's house and DID NOT HAVE A PHONE ON PURPOSE. I lived two blocks from the Antennae Club and I was never home anyway. The end, as far as I know?

I guess that would go down in the annals, but hell I have more. Sorry for the tldr!! I had forgotten all about this until today.

TerriB said...

I was 16 - we went on a picnic out in the country near a small river. He decides we should climb a cliff and see the cave that is up there. I wasn't thrilled but ok - it wasn't REAL high, maybe 25 feet. After walking around up there we decided to get down. He gets down about 6 feet from the top and falls. At the bottom of the cliff is a hill that he continues to roll down while I'm standing on top of the cliff screaming. He was able to come back up the hill and stay there while I climbed down, I half carried him to his car and he drove home. We were about 45 minutes from the area where we lived. I had no license so I couldn't drive - I held a wet washcloth over the gash in his leg and he dropped me off then went home where his Mom took him to the hospital. He had quite a few stitches - over 80 inside and out of the gash and he ended up being ok. I don't think we went out again after that...

Unknown said...

Double date with my now wife, my childhood best friend and his now wife.
My mate had been on and off about the whole thing all day, then turned up steaming drunk. This pissed off his very pregnant girlfriend.
He started rolling on the floor and making weird noises.
So she stabbed him in the neck with a fork (no blood) and he decided his best course of action was to pour a hot cup of coffee over her bump/their unborn child.
She stormed out...he followed after her...we got left with the bill.
They're still together and the child was born without burns.

momo said...

TerriB that's a keeper! Jeez. Just wondering, generally, how many of you remember what you were wearing when the worst date happened. Once I wrote about it I saw his car, my dress, tasted the steak, smelled the scotch. Memory is so crazy. OH THE DRESS I HAD I would still wear it, it was so awesome. It was this JUST the right red. Norma Kamali's version of the wrap dress, but in canvas. It was so comfortable and practically one size fits all. I don't know what happened to it, but it was a pricey purchase for me in those days.

Brayson87 said...

So many hilariously bad stories it's tough to choose. Eventually I realized dates suck for guys, it's better just to meet at a bar and chat or watch a movie at home and chill. Either way you will always get laid more and you can avoid boring activities and awful restaurants.

yepthatsme said...

August 2nd 1934, Hitler became the Supreme leader of Germany, merging the posts of Chancellor and President! So AUGUST 2ND 1934 IS THE WORST DATE EVER!

French Press said...

On a date with a new guy driving when we see police lights behind us pulling us over. Turns out it was my recently ex-boyfriend who’s a cop and having trouble letting go. We had a shouting match in the street till I got back in the car with my date and told him to drive off.

MyDogSmiles said...

@Dane LOL

LaurenMaye said...

A 25 mile bike ride in sweltering heat, one way. The 1st thing that happened was, as we were going over RR tracks my bike skidded in gravel. I fell into the ditch and landed in some kind of prickly bush. We got to the park and rented a paddle boat. It sank in the middle of the lake, then a huge white duck bit me. Ruined the only pack of smokes I had on me. As we were leaving, he wanted a picture of me standing by the statue at the entrance. So, I stood on the base, about 3 feet off the ground. Jumped off, sprained my ankle. Had to ride 25 miles back. Got home, went to the hospital. As I side note, I married him. We were married 40 years and had 5 children.

AtlantAnne said...

A guy from an online dating site roofied me & a nice couple in the wine bar figured out what happened because we had been talking to them, I went to the bathroom... I came back & after finishing my drink I couldn’t speak. The “date” ran out of the bar & that couple took me to the hospital. The guy disappeared from the internet. Fake name & all. Stupid of me all along — to meet a stranger, leave my drink... if not for this couple. Who knows what would have happened.

AtlantAnne said...

@LaurenMaye GREAT story!

Hotbox said...

Prom night. It was my first & last blind date. I never wanted to go, but my mom surprised me with a dress so I felt obligated. I’d planned to go with a friend, but he broke his leg badly. I ended up being set up by someone I’m no longer friends with. This guy stank, did not wear a tux, refused my help with directions when he got lost (he insisted on asking a trucker who gave him the exact same advice), ate all the appetizers meant for four people & suggested we end the night at a seedy hotel before sloppily forcing a kiss on me. He’d even brought condoms along! They fell out of his pocket & other kids blew them up like balloons. It was an evening of pure hell & awkwardness, capped off by me losing my credit card & a drunk driver smashing into my car.

Pepperoni10010 said...

Please not me, please not me, please not me.

:-)))))

La Morena said...

Bwahahaha. In 1987 I met this Cubano guy from the neighborhood I lived in in the time . He was tall dark and smooth . After a few Chance meetings and Hellos , I decided to meet him for a date. He came over to pick me up and I found out he didn’t have a car.😡. Then it starts raining and guess who didn’t have a umbrella? I lent him mine and it was the last I saw it . He had to stop by his house which was a small apartment which he shared with his mom and three brothers . Saw that the mom was into Santeria. Could not get out of there fast enough. Creepy. Took me on the train to downtown where we just walked around with nowhere to go . Ended up at a steakhouse where I watched him chow down on third rate steak and sides . I wasn’t hungry but was grossed out . Went to a public park afterwards where he asked me to have sex with him I said no !! He went to take a leak in the bushes so I took off fast as hell and never saw him again. I miss my umbrella.☹️

zerooptions said...

Lol! I met an intelligent, articulate girl at a party. She suggested we go to a movie. In the car I found out she was a huge racist bigot.
When we got to the theater, i suggested she get in line while i parked the car.
I left her there.
I lost a couple of "friends" over that.
F them.

Rosie riveter said...

I'm just wondering if anyone really reads these? Other than Sandy's and David, who kept it remarkably simple.

Astra Worthington said...

Ugh any of the douchers my mom tried to set me up with. A bunch of Yankees, annoying strivers, and other elitists. Sons of people she knew and dealt with socially. She always tried to matchmake me and my cousin into these weird ass relationships with power people in the DC political scene. I wasn’t ever interested because they’re all sick fuckers and basically politics is Hollywood for uggos and also I hated the area and wanted a man to get me away from that disgusting swamp hellhole! Ew once she tried to set me up with a guy from Pennsylvania then insulted me when I said NO THANKS. I can do better than a Pennsylvanian! So I got a man from the poorest county in NC and here we are ten years later 😆 no where near PA or DC 👌🏻👍🏻

OKay said...

@Rosie I read 'em all. I'm nosy like that. :)

PMSING said...

First date-he let me know he was a certified sperm donor and that he was clean of STDs...(cannot be certified sperm domestic without being tested)..

LOSrel said...

Went on a date with my best friends cousin. The guy drove like a total jerk... it got better. We stopped at a stop light in downtown Chicago and an African American walked across the stop light.... he proceeded to get hot and bothered and call this person a moon cricket, n*****. That was the last time I saw him until I realized he was stalking me. Good times.

Rob Horine said...

9/2/1968

My 31st Birthday. Also the day my dad told me that he had ALS.

Aquagirl said...

Early-20’s. Went on a blind date/double date with my friend & her bf (and his friend.) My date was handsome, funny, and smart. An architect, which is totally my type. But something seemed ‘off’. The 4 of us went out again a second time. My friend still lived with her parents so I was staying there & the guys picked us up. The next day her father said he needed to talk to me. He was a reporter, and when he met my date, something clicked in his mind and he researched him. Turns out the guy had murdered his father years prior in some sort of fit of rage. He didn’t go to jail, but he did spend time in the loony bin. Meanwhile, he has a thrivjng career and is also ia highly ranked tennis player. But I never saw him again, and my friend broke up with her bf soon after.

Aquagirl said...

*thriving

rednoir said...

Girl took me to a cult.

Goodau said...

I read them all Rosie.
Rob you have my understanding and sympathy.

EV said...

He's a half hour late for coffee (I'd met him a few days previously in a bar). When he arrives he apologises and says an old family friend has just turned up and they've been having a drink and would I care to join?
He leads me into a nearby bar where his entire extended family is sitting. I then find out that he's recently divorced and they're all soo excited for him to be dating again. I'm sat between his parents, wanting the ground to swallow me whole.
Then it gets bad
The family friend who had appeared had apparently been in prison for the last 20 odd years. They all laughed as they told me and I nervously laughed with them. Then my date leaned in an informed me that the friend had been in prison for killing 2 police officers (90's Northern Ireland) and they were thrilled to see him out. He said this while still laughing. I immediately excused myself to the bathroom and obviously ran out the back door. What a pile of nutcases, I was awkwardly blanking him on the street for years after.

Cuddlebutt said...

I was 18 and went on a date under duress. He was 25. He was a creep-said he didn't like girls his age because they let their bodies go. I wasn't good with boundaries of saying no then. He took me to a regatta in his new Jeep that had a lift kit. He ended up flipping it and snapping my arm (and nearly my neck). When I extracted myself from the upside down Jeep I ran from him screaming. I became light headed and syncopal and was assisted by people standing by. He would not go away. I was on the ground trying to tell him to go and he leaned over on my hair pinning my head to the ground. When the ambulance came they asked how I was in the ditch across the street. I said trying to get away from him. When they loaded me into the ambulance he fainted and was put in the same one. We were about an hour and a half from the hospital nearest my home that could do surgery. On the way he kept putting his hand on my arm exactly where the radius and ulna were fractured. The paramedic leaned over me and screamed at him "Get your hands off her FOOL!" . When my "date" didn't listen he got taped head to toe on the stretcher. I underwent surgery and had 2 plates and 11 pins in my arm. Lost my summer nanny position in Boston where I was going to allowed to attend/audit any class I wanted. The guy called me at home and asked me out again. Never checked on me the 3 days I was hospitalized. He also whined that he couldn't work out because his neck bothered him. When I refused he asked if I was gay. He called my mom and she tried to get me to go out with him because she felt sorry for him. He sent pics of the Jeep for our attorney along with pics of him posing in his bathroom mirror. This was the 80's way before that was a thing.
Oh, and from the settlement which I was going to use for college, my mom took 2/3. A year or so later took the rest because the IRS popped her for tax evasion. Yeah, that date sucked.

Max Power said...

I have a feeling that I'm on the opposite end of many "bad date" stories. :-)

Kansa said...

Well, there was the one in which I met someone at a disco (back in the 70's) and he took me back to his place and then told me that he thought I was a temptation from God and that he was trying to resist me (while I was sitting there doing nothing but having a drink). I decided that I wasn't up for any of that. Then, a week later, I found out that in addition to all the God/Temptation stuff, he'd actually used the name of the guy whose apartment it really was. It wasn't even his apartment! (And, it wasn't his car that he took to the disco, and brought me back in, and apparently he didn't have permission to use it!) I was so glad that I didn't stick around during that first date, and I don't know how the guy whose apartment it was found me to ask how I knew the guy. I do know that I was called and he asked to meet me, but as for the rest of it, time has blurred the details. I look back on that and think "What did I escape?"

rednoir said...

Cuddlebutt wins the award for worst date.

shakey said...

I've been reading these on the sly at work.

One date - guy sat across from me while he reached under my sleeve and stroked my arm as he described our wedding to me. I nearly ran him over after he walked me to my car because I couldn't get away fast enough.

Another - friends tried to set me up with a friend of a friend. Apparently tequila made him horny, because that's what he said every time he took a shot. Then we all went back to his place. Had a conversation about zodiac signs. All Virgo women are bitches, according to him. Guess which sign I am.

Yet another - waited nearly half an hour for this guy to show up at the Olive Garden. When he finally showed, he kept excusing himself to make a phone call. Waiter came up to me and suggested he may not be the best person to date. I asked if I could use a back door. I left mid-meal as the waiter brought me through the kitchen so I could leave undetected. I figured he must have overheard him on the phone and it was not good.

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