Saturday, January 23, 2021

Blind Item #1 - Larry King Story

The picture above is from several years ago at Barney's. Here is how it came to be. The story involves me and this B+ list actress who all of you know from an iconic pay cable show. It starts off at the restaurant in the store which was on the top floor.

Me - Look at Jon Voight over there

Actress - Why is he always with blonde Russians.

Me - And they barely speak English, but always calls them his niece. 

Actress - It is like he is living a real life version of Salt.

Me - You should get a role like that.

Actress - I get good roles. 

Me - You get nice paychecks. I did the contract for your last movie remember, and that is a role no one will ever see.

Actress - How can he call them his niece, after he sucks face with them at the table.

Me - He always sits inside, rather than outside, so more people will see him. 

Actress - Is that Scott Disick?

Me - Yep. 

Actress - Well, at least he takes his kid to lunch. And, bonus, he doesn't look drunk.

Me - There goes Larry King.

Actress - He really does look like Mr. Burns. He hit on me last year. 

Me - Really?

Actress - Yeah, but even if I was dead broke and he was the richest guy on the planet, it wouldn't happen. 

Later downstairs

Me - Larry again.

Actress - His wife is spending a fortune today.

Me  - She is the one having sex with him. Oh, and her sister too.

Actress - Really?

Me - Yeah. I don't think all three at the same time though.

Actress - I kind of want a picture with him. 

Me - Ask him

After the picture

Actress - He definitely got a handful of ass.

Me - I will take one of him by himself and you can print it and throw darts at it.

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