Friday, April 06, 2007

ZX Has A Nighttime Visitor--Or Not

***Update***If you want each ZX post to say something like. "I was doing lines of coke tonight and then got on the phone and called greasy bear so he could come over and f**k me then you are looking in the wrong place. This is her life. Most people don't do what you read about in the tabs. I think her first two posts have revealed a hell of a lot more then you will ever get from some PR crap in People. I explained to you yesterday that it's a process. I also don't want to edit anything because I want it to be her words so you can feel her and not have me try and make it pleasant and presentable. ZX is a real person with real feelings and emotions. She is not some stereotypical celebutante and won't be. If you want instant gratification then go read something else because this is a life being written about and not porn.


the supernatural. or a real live person, (even scarier) so i'm lying in bed last night reading Invisible Monsters and i've locked up- (but i've had real humans successfully break and enter, friends whom I would have shot if i owned a firearm)- and i hear this eery sliding sound coming from upstairs. so i pop out of bed and lock my bedroom door which is really this out of place oaken front door trimmed to fit by my nutty landlord when i kicked through the last one- the knob is at my breasts which is surely not right- and i hop back into bed. i try to read but there are occasional footsteps on the stairs and the clumsy bump into pieces of furniture i think i recognize the sound of bumping into. someone grips the bedroom door and then retreats. i am still in bed contemplating jumping out the window and i silently dial 911 on my cellphone- but i don't press call because i don't want the cops to think i'm a ninny for reporting a ghost. and none of the sounds are really loud and believe me i'm totally paranoid and my senses are completely out of control. i try to shake my dog but she just spoons me in bliss- dirty bitch. i grab my bat and stand in front of the door daring somebody to come in. but nothing happens. so finally i go to sleep only to wake in a blind panic from a dream of my X-boyfriend coming down the stairs wearing only a pink scarf and one of those paperboy hats from the 50's. he honestly looked like an oversized salmon penis but i was terrified. then i woke up feeling better but when i was cleaning my office, the effing sliding glass door was open. i don't think my dog did it although when she gets mad at me, she writes in sharpie on my bed. now, they installed a stoplight in front of my house because a little girl was run over in the 70's. it's only to slow people down, so if you're ever driving by, it's optional. but i've had crazy things happen before- a grandfather clock that has only been broken since 1952 STARTED TICKING but that's nothing to the fact that an armchair from upstairs mysteriously ended up in the middle of my spare bedroom when it DOESN'T REALLY FIT THROUGH THE DOOR. and i was lying abed pooping my diaper the whole time this was going on. so... ghost or creepy crawler like the manson family?

48 comments:

mookie said...

lol @ "oversized salmon penis"...heehee!

Anonymous said...

Dear ZX,
Cut back on the drugs and booze before bedtime and invest in better locks on your doors.

WTF said...

Ghost. For sure.

Anonymous said...

Boring crap writing.

sb said...

Jeez - that is a major stream of conciousness post there. I really couldn't follow it. Maybe it's me.

Anonymous said...

I think it's interesting as hell. I also want to know why she kicked the door down.

zx lover said...

I'm so glad ent didn't pick someone who was boring. I can't wait to find out who it is. Could you imagine if it was Julia Roberts having these kinds of thoughts. You wouldn't think it was boring crap then.

Anonymous said...

I too would like to know why she kicked the door down and more importantly was she being facetious when she send she was "lying abed pooping her diapers?"

I want to encourage her to continue posting because this was fascinating but perhaps Ent Lawyer could offer her a bit of editing to make things a little more easily understood?

Anonymous said...

Take a breath!

Anonymous said...

Get the hook ready, EL

Anonymous said...

Her place sounds really big so she's either not as young as we thought or does really well for herself. LA rents ain't cheap.

Anonymous said...

LOVED Invisible Monsters. Nice reading choice.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I was right to say that this is totally coming via text message.

This person is definately off kilter and that makes it more interesting than yesterday's post. Funny thing is, I never had any ghost stories until I moved to LA. This place is totally haunted.

GGA

Anonymous said...

GGA, I was born and grew up there, but moved to the opposite corner of the country after college. Interestingly enough, I have not a single ghost story to tell from my past decade in the east coast living in 100 year old apartment buildings, but I can definitley tell some creepy ones from my 2 decades growing up on the west coast.

Anonymous said...

I definitely think she is not from the US. She uses such words as "ninny" and "lying abed".

Any ideas?

Anonymous said...

To all those who are complaining ZX's posts are boring:

1. Have some manners- the lady is reading this blog.
2. If you wanted tales of drugs and wild sex orgies and hangin' with Paris- that is such a small percentage of working actresses, yet they are the only ones commanding the interest of the tabs. Reality is way more like ZX.
3. Have some manners- the lawyer is reading this blog.
4. Try something new- the ZX thing is barely two posts in and sure to keep changing. You won't think it's boring when you have shots from her camera at red carpet events.
5. Did I mention have some manners?
6. Read between the lines, Sherlocks- there's nothing boring about what's implied in these entries. Some of you people are just unimaginative.

Think about it:

Offend her --> offend him --> this blog goes away.

NOT what we want. So, play nice, bitches!

voice of reason said...

Might also explain the shower door. Or maybe your landlord has a weird sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

I like her so far...keep 'em coming please!

Anonymous said...

Hello,

Thanks for sharing! It must have been soooo scary! I hate those nights when I am scared out of my mind because of some ghostly stuff -- so I feel for you.

Keep us posted if anything new happens.

fo real said...

Thanks ZX I am very much enjoying your posts and it's a lot to ask from EL but I appreciate... and for the nay Sayers don’t read her posts...

Moving from east Canada to west Canada I must say that in the west people seem to be more spiritual and open and aware of there spiritual sides just my 2 cents

Anonymous said...

a ghost?! Any piece of furniture that moves location and that isn't physically possible is scary. Or maybe your ex boyfriend is creeeepy. interesting none the less.

Megs said...

lol even during down time and reading binges life finds you. Every Halloween we go ghost hunting and one of us pretends to see something and the rest pretend to believe them. I guess if you are actively looking for something it doesn't come your way but if you just relax cool ass things happen to you. Love your blog please continue :)

Anonymous said...

Jeez cut her A BREAK! Ignore the naysayers girl and keep on writing - Love this post and got the creeps for you. I would have been "pooping my diaper" as well. PS: My dog hides the toilet paper... I'd prefer the sharpie in bed. ~Irishstayc

brendalove@gmail.com said...

#*%& those grouchy ass anonymous posters! Although it would get real boring without them around here grouchin' #*%# up. Oh what am I saying, we love their grouchy asses.

ANYWAY - Mystery Actress, you need to get a gun and some gun lessons, STAT!

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:32

I agree. I grew up on the East Coast and never had anything happen. I moved to the West Coast and there was this apartment in West Hollywood that had such a presence. Things like forks would go missing. A spoon that was not from my set appeared on the microwave one day. The chandelier would shake everyday at 2 AM. I would see a pre-teen girl walk around my bedroom. I can go on and on...

Come to find out - that building used to run by the Russian mafia. I'll bet some bad crap happened there.

GGA

Anonymous said...

12:43 = Hez. Offend a blogger & they go away? Wish it were that easy. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

An open sliding glass door? Not a ghost; definitely a prowler. Maybe the ex, maybe the landlord. Lay a wooden or metal pipe in the groove so it can't be opened. Today. Keep your bedroom door locked. This blog is fine. There will always be naysayers; ignore them.
Juju

Anonymous said...

ZX,

I totally know how you feel being scared - possibly of a ghost! Been there, done that many times....your dog did not act like it saw anything? That was the worst part always for me....my pup would stand up, growl and stare intently at thin air. Her reacting just confirmed there was a ghost in the room.

Thanks for your update, looking forward to more!

sb said...

OK, so I reread ZX's post and think that perhaps my difficulty following it was me, after all. It's not such a stream of consciousness, but rather, a log of a rather unsettling and surreal night.

My apologies if there was any offense taken to my earlier comment, ZX. I had great difficulty following your post, but perhaps I was caught up in the workday.

Can't be easy to blog. It is easy (perhaps too easy) to comment, however!

DD said...

I'm keeping an open mind about her blogging for now.

Anonymous said...

ZX = wanna be Rosie

(EL this is *so* not working)

Groceries said...

Echoing Juju's sound advice to place a pipe or wood block in the sliding door track to block it shut, and adding: keep a cell phone or cordless phone with you in bed so that if this is a prowler, you can call 911 immediately. Take care.

Anonymous said...

I don't think you're crazy Zx and though I'm not a big believer in ghosts, I will say this as a single woman living alone in a house, the noises are maddening. Even small things like a noise from my living room while I'm in the bedroom (with the door shut) can be enough to freak you the hell out. My mom says 'it's just the house settling' my brothers say 'buy a gun'. It could be anything, but you aren't nuts for jumping at the sounds. What if it *is* an intruder?
And it sounds like your dog is about as sympathetic as mine. I shake him awake (after picking him up and putting him on the bed with me, mind you) and get this 'go to hell' look for my trouble, as he grabs more of the blanket and goes back to sleep.
Ha I think you have the right idea, I'm buying a bat. I'm also kicking the dog off the bed the next time he acts like my fears are unwarranted. Least he could do is give an obligatory protective growl.

And uh..the sliding door was open?? Yeah, not your imagination.
Third or fourth the idea of a wood block. Don't rely on your landlord, he sounds like an unreliable putz.

Glad to have you aboard :)

Anonymous said...

Scary your sliding glass door was open - not supernatural, just supernut - invest in a pipe or piece of wood like the others said, and lay that puppy down in the groove of the door - much better than a lock, and can't be picked :-P

The chair that moved to another room that didn't fit through the door? you could prolly take the legs off, and it would fit NP -but that's kind of creepy if someone is running around your house when you're home (or not) rearranging the furniture - That would make me invest in new locks or a bolt for the doors - or a security system.

ROFLMAO at the dream of your ex dressed in a pink scarf - loved the imagery! Glad to hear other people have crazy vivid dreams that don't seem to make sense at first - you should try and figure out what that means LOL -it would be fun thinking of possible explanations for the imagery!

Rhin :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah that's a good point. 2 people have a key to my house..one is my dogwalker when I'm out of town (and my best friend) the other is my bf who lives out of town. Who has keys to your house or know where you hide them in case you lock yourself out?

Anonymous said...

Random Thoughts:
1. Get your keys back from your ex.
2. Maybe you need to break up with your dog too? Or at least put him/her on final notice.
3. Have a great weekend! I look forward to hearing more crazy stuff.

PS. If you are Zooey D., you have an amazing voice!

Frenchie said...

I hate teleporting entities... Freaks me right out when I go digging around for something I know for a fact was stored in a specific place, but is no longer there, and then find it a few days later, in that very spot...

U live in L.A., and you don't lock your doors? Hell girl, you're just asking for it. I'll 8th the pipe/block idea. I live in a high rise, but wouldn't think of going to bed without locking the balcony door. I also have a letter opener wedged between my mattress and box-spring. The cell/cordless phone idea is good too. And get a big dog. A really, really BIG dog. ;p

U sure your ex wasn't a Poof? Can't find any other explanation for him wearing nothing but a pink scarf and a newsboy cap. LMBO!!!

hez said...

3:21, Grow up from what? Being offline drinking beer with my friends all day? Join the chorus of the ignored, dude.

ambersumiko said...

Wow, that is some freaky shit. I would .. well I'd probably move out because I believe in ghosts and it would scare me. Give us updates okay?

amy said...

12:43 anonymous--you sound very ACOA. get some help.

Claudea said...

Hey guys!
Thanks to Zx for joining the club and for exposing us to your lifestyle/everyday life.
I find Ent's initiative very interesting and hope you like your experience.
I'm looking forward reading more! :)

@Amy, I think that Anon 12:43 might be Ent giving us a warning on playing it nice... I think it's a shame that ppl sometimes are just not polite; at least if someone want to criticise, he/she have to be constructive about it...

Anonymous said...

Invisible Monsters is a GREAT book; good choice!!

"Ninny" made me also think that our mystery blogger was from outside the US as well. But she could also just be a cute little actress who uses quirky words. I could imagine Zooey D. doing that. And I totally want to believe this is Zooey D, haha.

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate, whenever i'm at home by myself at night every noise sounds like someone is in the house with me- and unfortunately one time I did come downstairs and found that I'd been robbed, though thankfully the guy hadn't come upstairs and didn't have any bad intentions (other than the robbery, that is). Still scared the hell out of me though!

mary mac said...

I can't stand trolls looking for trouble...the only downfall of the blog...

I'm loving ZX's style. Keep it coming!

bionic bunny! said...

the stick in the door IS an excellent idea, but also remember that an intruder simply lifts the door off the track... one of the reasons sliding doors are so easy to open, even if locked.
the answer? you need to slide another piece of doweling on TOP of the door.
there's also a device that can be drilled into the door frame, but they're a bugger to for the owner to unlock, so maybe not so safe in case of fire.

hang in there, ZX, i love what you're doing!

JeeezeLouise said...

My argie-sense is suddenly tingling again. Hmmm.

Jem said...

Eurgh, I get that every night I'm alone downstairs. It always sounds like someone is walking around upstairs, and the pots in the kitchen start clanging. Sometimes I get close to jumping out of the window too

operaghost said...

I totally believe. I've had some experiences myself.

I've been reading a cool mystery series that features ghosts and such in a very fresh, mod kind of way. Madelyn Alt's the author, check it out.


O.G.