Tuesday, April 10, 2007

ZX's Happy Easter Bun Bun, Her Agent--And ZX's Identity Busted (Almost)

When I went to sleep last night, there was still no word from ZX, and so I gathered she wasn't going to be writing anything for today. Of course I didn't realize that she does her best writing at 3am. I'm also glad she doesn't have my phone number, because I know she would have called me at 3am to tell me it was done. She does have a sexy voice though, so... Anyway, I digress. Last night at about 9pm I did get this interesting e-mail which I am sharing here now with the author's permission.

Absolutely love your blog and since stumbling upon it a while back, have made it a must read with my morning coffee. The blind items are for sure the most intriguing and original around; a refreshing break from the usual rehashed stuff from page six on everyone else's sites. And the anon actress blog had me in stitches and hooked from the first one, eager to see the next postings and hoping they'd find the time to do them more frequently than once a week. I was gleefully diving into ZX's latest post when I quickly nearly choked my coffee back up, realizing I was in the story, well sort of...as I happened to be one of the "12 jury members" aka "20 scowling executives " mentioned. lol. Too funny! So, needless to say, I’ve figured who ZX is, and to her credit, her recap of the whole testing process and that day in particular was pretty spot on! Well, except I'm pretty sure I wasn't scowling during her tests. :-) Love, love, love your site and ZX's posts! Hope she keeps writing and does so often. And hope you pass on how much I enjoyed reading her rendition of the test, as seriously, she was so accurate about it, it took me all of two seconds to realize who she was amongst the gazillions of people I saw and tests I sat through this pilot season. Cheers! – A devoted reader.

I did pass it on to ZX this morning and she thought it was the funniest thing ever. Thanks to the reader for also keeping the secret. Here is ZX's post for today.

I was still moping and snivelling this weekend, whining how nobody likes me and how I'll never get another job, but my best friend knows what to do. She said, "Whatever! At least you tested. And your boyfriend was a total tool. I can't believe you even dated him. I have a new dress. Do you have any fun parties to go to tonight?" So I got out of bed, checked my email, and VOILA! An hour later we arrived to... Empty parking spaces right in front of the venue. Either EVERYONE valeted. Or. I forgot what day today was. Whoops. Could happen to anyone. So we walked to Toi and shared red curry seafood. "Sharing" with your best friend means stuffing-your-face-as-fast-as-you-can. No chopsticks shit. So on the REAL party night, my idea of a good time was to not talk to anyone and make friends with the waiters and dumplings. But there was NO FOOD. It wasn't fair. It was like a circus with no clowns.

I found some consolation people watching, another way of not really talking to anyone or feeling uncomfortable when you don't drink or do drugs. Or smoke now. It used to be so nice when you found an interesting slash outrageously sexy slash nice person, to say "Come outside and smoke with me." Even if they didn't smoke, inevitably you'd have them alone and see whether they were as great as they seemed. "Come outside with me," doesn't have the same ring to it. It actually sounds sleazy and desperate. The people watching fun was short lived though when the hostess came over and asked me to do press and I thought, 'Oh here we go...' I did some press
and "Oh by the way," would you mind talking to People Magazine?"
"Suuuuuuure."
"So what have you been up to lately?"
Felt like saying mind your own business but said, 'Oh, well I just tested for something but... I didn't get it."
"And how about in the future?"
"Uhhh... Weeelllll. Your guess is as good as mine."
I could see his eyes begin to glaze.
"Who designed your dress?"
Oh God. "I got it at a garage sale."
He couldn't wait to rewind the tape fast enough to make room for a REAL STAR. You try telling People Magazine that you're a total loser in a $5 dress. All in all a good night. Then we went to Benito's Tacos.

So today I spoke to my agent about my career and he said that since auditioning hadn't been getting me what I wanted, they have a new gameplan to play to my strengths. Nice way of saying it, Buddy. Very diplomatic. Very intellectual. I hate intellectuals. I feel like the more you focus on what you're trying to say, the less you say what you mean. "I feel... that primarily... ... it was... inconsequential that... blah blah blah. So I end up filling in the blanks with whatever I please and they get frustrated and never speak to me again. So I go surfing.

I have a little confession to make. The real reason I quit smoking is because I met someone I want to kiss. Again.

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kelly Osbourne?

Anonymous said...

Jennifer Aniston just quit smoking too! I know it's not her, but I wish it was, i really like that chick!!!

Anonymous said...

AHHH Kelly is a great guess. Def weight gain but again she has always been a rollercoaster with that. me too sister, me too :/

Anonymous said...

if it's aniston, i'm done with this blog. that's all i need is to hear her whine a bit more!!!!

brendalove@gmail.com said...

You won't ever regret quitting smoking. The cravings are the worst part but if you just hang in there, they go away in 20 minutes or less.

Also, I'm sure whoever you're swapping saliva with will appreciate it. ;-)

Breaker said...

My advice to those playing the ZX guessing game.... Dont take EVERYTHING she says literally.

Example the weight gain, I seriously doubt she has actually gained 41 pounds. Women love to blow things out of proportion, and judging by her writing she has a very dry very sarcastic sense of humor. I mean, how many steady-working, 41 pound overweight actresses are there? C'mon guys use the noggin.

Anonymous said...

I think our mystery actress might be Mandy Moore (although I don't know about the smoking...) She recently broke up with Zach Braff and she doesn't drink or do drugs. just a guess...

Anonymous said...

Hi Mystery Celeb Chick (If you read these comments)

I know this is supposed to be a diary, but question - are most of the celeb relationships we hear/read about in the general entertainment media false or exaggerated for the celeb's benefit?

Cheers,
M

Twisted Sister said...

Mandy Moore is knowns for being in Indies??????

hez said...

Breaker, that's exactly what I was thinking. 41 pounds was clearly an exaggeration for comedic effect.

And hey, ZX, as a first-time-quitter with 10 years' success under my not-much-expanded belt, it definitely gets easier. (And boy are you gonna be proud of your self-control! No longer ruled by a little paper tube!)

Pinky said...

Twisted Sister - rent *Saved.* Mandy Moore is quite good in it, and it's a pretty funny Indie film.

sb said...

ZX, these posts are just plain old fun to read and I find myself looking forward to the next installment each day!

Do all agents talk like that? Or is it maybe time to look for a new one?

Anonymous said...

ZX -- you sound like such a down to earth, real person. Its refreshing to see this side of Hollywood! Thank you for keeping us so entertained :)

Anonymous said...

Twisted Sister- Many Moore was in Saved, which was an indie film. Also, Ent noted that she was happy in mainstream or indie films.

Anonymous said...

Ok-totally random but I was wondering if ZX could be Taryn Manning? I read some quotes from here recently speaking out about Hustle & Flow and the fact that the actors didn't really get paid. So, she speaks her mind. And, she's been in a couple of movies released this year and has 4 more either completed or in post production. She's been in both indie and mainstream movies.
-Katie

Anonymous said...

I thought it could be her too..

I also suspected it is someone who is B list all the way because they are "renting" an apt. still..

Anonymous said...

A fictional game with two new characters, the "actress" & "industry excutive". Every page bottom states this is fiction and products of the authors' imagination. A blogger attempting to hook you with something different but it's just not consistent or plausible. You would need to be very naive and NOT in the industry to actually believe any of this.

Kathy said...

I've been guessing Mandy Moore from the start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, she's been in plenty of indies -- 2 were shown at Sundance this January.

But I've called MM to be ZX from the first post!

hez said...

Oh, Santa Cop, you never quit raining on our parade, do you?

Why do you give a f*ck what we believe unless you have a vested interest? I'm starting to think YOU're the fake here.

mngddess said...

ZX - keep plugging, Chickie. You'll get your break and then, well, you know what they say - "When it rains, its pours." And congrats on stopping smoking. You won't regret it. I have a problem with binge eating. It's really killing me. So I admire someone with the fortitude to stop.

Cyn

Kathy said...

Oh, gawd, 12:39 ...... you don't get it. The concept of a disclaimer is to keep you off the hook in case someone decides they don't like the way something has been said about them.

"Law and Order" starts every show with a disclaimer that the following story is fiction, but many of them are just like a real news story, with the names changed.

People do this to cover their arses.

And, of course, people enjoy this blog because they enjoy it. Feel free to move along to one that makes you more comfortable is this one isn't cutting it for you.

Anonymous said...

My 2cents: this is the ONLY gossip site to state it's fiction which is what makes it fun. Reading comments that show people believe is the fun.

mookie said...

kelly o--no way. writing isn't mean or snarky, and kelly is.

jen a-maybe, except no weight gain, altho the weight gain thing could be a ruse.

mandy moore-maybe, but writing seems a little more mature than her yrs.

sticking to the jen a. guess.

ms0909 said...

Could it be Cameron Diaz?

Anonymous said...

no it can't be cameron diaz, there is no way a people magazine writer would be in a hurry to find someone else to talk to if he could talk to fer.

ms0909 said...

No can't be Jen Aniston, too high profile and def not Kelly O.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:05PM, actually other gossip sites do state that what you are reading may in fact be fiction or completely false. Its standard disclaimer language. EL's disclaimer is virtually the same in meaning as Perez's and Lainey's, but may be worded more strongly. But in my opinion, he's probably trying to do a better job of overing his arse.

Besides, reread his disclaimer. It does not say his blog IS fiction. It says some of the content COULD be true, and some could be inaccurate or ever fiction.

Anonymous said...

Do you think Jen A. would screen test for a TV show and not get it? After the success of Friends? Just curious...I don't know what I think.

Pinky said...

Hey Santa Cop - I'm in the industry and I believe him. Smoke that.

Anonymous said...

What other actresses surf?

Anonymous said...

So what if it's fiction? OK I went to the big sites where disclaimers do NOT claim: "certain situations, characters and events portrayed in the Blog are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously." EL does, it's what makes it different. To each his own.

hez said...

^5 Pinky!

Anonymous said...

1:05, I'm going to take a wild guess that most people here do not know the concept/term of negative proof but the "writers" DO. Even if they Wiki'd it it would still be too foreign an idea for you to ever get through. Let people believe their fantasies of being an insider.

Pinky said...

What on EARTH does that mean, 2:01pm?

Anonymous said...

he makes fun of mandy moore so i doubt its her plus i think she wouldnt be outspoken enough to write this

Anonymous said...

he makes fun of mandy moore so i doubt its her plus i think she wouldnt be outspoken enough to write this

mary mac said...

I do not believe ZX is a household name just yet. Sounds to me as though she's stuggling. Unfortunately, Zooey doesn't seem to be in that situation what with her playing Janis Joplin soon, which should be a pretty big deal.

No offense to those who guessed Jen A or Cameron...way too popular and rich...neither have landlords and I'm sure niether would not have massive security on their residences.

Has anyone guessed Amy Smart?

Breaker said...

Anon 12:29

Dont think its Taryn, Ent says ZX has a sexy voice, would you classify Taryn's voice as sexy? *puke*

Pinky said...

Doesn't it say though that she has a big movie coming out this year that could make her a contender for the Oscar? That's why we'd been guessing Zooey (Janis Joplin) but she's got a recurring guest spot on *Weeds* so I don't think it's her.

Anonymous said...

HOW ABOUT HILLARY SWANK?

Anonymous said...

What about Minnie Driver?

Anonymous said...

could it be lucy liu

Lara said...

I'm with whoever said this:

"if it's aniston, i'm done with this blog. that's all i need is to hear her whine a bit more!!!!"

I've had more than enough of her manipulative pity party. I'm with Lainey and her characterisation of Aniston as Total Fraud.

Anonymous said...

Minnie Driver has a new, very well received show (which I've not seen), The Riches.

Anonymous said...

Remember people, this is someone who still lives in an apartment and needs to go out on pilot testing. This is not an A/B list star like some of you are guessing. It's going to be someone way further off the radar.

Also, who has gained weight lately? Remember she said she put on 41 lbs when she quit smoking? Anyone go from skinny to well filled out that we can think of?

Either way, love ya ZX, your honesty and look into the life of a working actress is appreciated!

Anonymous said...

I think the 41 pounds comment is a joke. I mean think about it who in Hollywood would gain that much unless they were pregnant or doing it for a role.

Anonymous said...

I'm new and am just gonna throw this out there...
Elisha Cuthbert?

Anonymous said...

Another random one: Michelle Rodriguez, I think she surfs and may not be as angry as people perceive her to be. Also yesterday's semi-bitchy comment about how the actress that was hired was not even pretty sounds just mean enough (not very mean) to be Rodriquez. I really don't think a B list actress would rent an apartment so think lower down the ladder; and this person is obviously someone young since they are into partying so Aniston's stuck up ass is out, so is Swank. I'm done so everyone can slaughter my comment and point out how wrong it its. Another one for arguing: Neve Campbell.

Anonymous said...

michelle rodriquez, thats an awesum guess, i read part of an interview or a blog or something she wrote not long ago and it had the same dry sarcastic sense of humor

Anonymous said...

i know exactly who this is and don't worry she's not that exciting at all and no one has guess it.

Anonymous said...

How about Jennifer Coolidge?

Anonymous said...

nope

Anonymous said...

Who would dress like that?
Start thinking that way.

Anonymous said...

Meg Tilly?

Anonymous said...

nope

Archie Bunker said...

It is so clearly Sally Strothers.

Anonymous said...

nope

Anonymous said...

I think it could be Jennifer Tilly but then again would she rent an apartment?

missbliss said...

Michelle rodriguez hasnt had several films out this year

mary Mac said...

As far as renting an apartment, a tier 2 or tier 3 working actress may very well rent an apartment, even if making good money. She is talking about going to the beach, running on the beach, surfing, etc...perhaps her apartment or condo is right on the beach. Owning there would be expensive and perhaps renting is a better option...dunno?

Breaker said...

Michelle Rodriguez!!!! That MUST be it...fits perfectly...

EXCEPT...

She's a lesbian.

Sorry, please try again.

Anonymous said...

anne hathaway

Anonymous said...

Evangeline Lilly??

Anonymous said...

anne hathaway lives in NY, is still with her boyfriend, and does not need to screen test for television series.

Seriously...get real.

Anonymous said...

Evangeline Lilly - lives in Hawaii, has roomates so she would not be home alone with her dog, did not break up with her boyfriend (or beard)...