Saturday, November 24, 2007

Eric Wins The Lottery -- Part 4

Over the next two weeks, I checked in with the guys almost everyday. It was unusual calling them. Here I was, working everyday, and when you called them it was like talking to someone on a vacation. It's not unlike when you are dealing with actors and actresses. When they aren't working they tend to forget that other people do actually have 9 to 5 jobs. It is one of the reasons why they tend to hang out amongst other actors or people who don't have regular jobs. As a 9 to 5 worker it's tough to just be able to walk away from your job at 11am and go shopping or to the ocean for a few hours. Like to, but it just doesn't happen. Therefore, when Eric and his friend would call me at 2am and tell me to meet them somewhere, most of the time I would be asleep or tell them I had to be up at 7am to go to work.

With what I do now, 2am calls generally are because someone has got into trouble. It wasn't always that way. At one point I had a job that required me to interact much more and therefore calls at 2am were the norm rather than the exception. If you have a problem with your phone you expect the phone company to help you with your problem or issue on your time. There really isn't any difference with actors or musicians, except their time to deal with issues is not usually 9 to 5. It's one of the reasons I don't do what I was doing anymore. You had responsibilities to deal with during normal business hours, but you also had responsibilities at 3am. No social life and no sleep leads to burnout and multiple divorces.

Eric and his friend were really good about telling me what was going on and would get incredibly excited when they met anyone who they had always wanted to meet. It wasn't just big stars. They were just as hyped when they met Randy Jackson as they were when they met Jenny McCarthy. It's not as if they were hanging out with A listers or anyone even close. Their encounters were just like anyone else who hangs around LA long enough. Their whole time in LA they probably hung out with only 7 or 8 people any of us would easily recognize. They loved that, but the whole experience was about living like a rock star. Funny enough, even after two or three weeks in LA, they really weren't spending that much money. With the exception of some clothes, they really hadn't spent that much. At clubs, someone was always around who would buy them a drink or two and their food intake was primarily of the fast food variety. After their first blowout party, they rarely bought the good stuff, because no one really noticed or cared.

What blew me away was how many people they had met in such a short time. All they did day and night was meet people. I went out to dinner with them towards the end of their third week in town. Eric was with his B lister although the clock was ticking. As I said earlier, when she found out that Eric didn't have a job or money and this was just one long party, she started looking for her next victim. Eric's friend still had the Playmate although I remember she wasn't there that night. Two of Eric's friends had also flown in from New Jersey and so there were 6 of us that night at dinner. I think we ate at Matsuhisa that night, and even though they had never eaten there, it seemed as if they knew all of the wait staff, and a good number of the other diners. What many people don't realize is that Hollywood is a small town, and the circle of people who are on the same schedule as Eric and his friends with the same agenda is even smaller. It doesn't take many degrees of separation to get back to the beginning.

That night, after dinner we went to a party fairly close to Bel Air where they had been invited. I think it was a Thursday night because I remembered telling myself that I would only need to suck it up through one day of work to make it to Saturday and sleep. Like most houses in that neighborhood, they are built into the hills and have many levels, but each level is usually fairly small. Parties tend to take place on each level because if you get more than about 20 people, there just isn't room for them on one floor. The other thing that sucks is there usually is no parking anywhere close to where your destination is. You usually end up parking about a 1/4 mile away, and if you are smart, you park below your destination, because nothing sucks more than being drunk and dragging your ass up a hill 1/4 mile. Hopefully when you get to your car it hasn't been sideswiped by a driver who couldn't see anything because the streets are so damn dark and you have to park almost in the street.

That night, in addition to the straight couples making out throughout the house, I saw two guys making out. Nothing unusual at all about that except that one of the guys was and is a very A list director. Very A list and at that time in a well publicized relationship with a very strong female celebrity who I'm sure would have been shocked to see him swapping spit with the tiny Asian guy in the corner. I was actually surprised enough to see him at a party without her, because they had been glued at the hip all summer and fall. In case you are curious he is one of the black book directors I mentioned in a previous blind item.

It was actually the kind of party I enjoyed. No loud music blaring from every corner. It was just people enjoying some cocktails and having quiet conversations with 2 or 3 other guests. It was for exactly that reason that Eric and his friends hated it and wanted something more. Here is a tip for those coming to LA to party. Take separate cars. Yes, hard on the environment, but parties move, change locations, and everything else during a night, and at some point, someone will get left behind or will want to go home. There is absolutely nothing worse than having to take someone home all the way across town, and then making your way to the next party. Distances can be huge, and even if not a huge distance, traffic can be a nightmare. Even though it might only be like 5 miles between Bel Air and Sunset and Highland, it can be the longest five miles of your life. Even at 11pm at night you are basically one lane of traffic each way because the right lane is given over to valet parking. You can always take the lesser roads, but cops love to hang out on those tiny streets just waiting for you to go over 30 and to give you a sobriety test.

Final Party -

For their last party, the boys had something special in mind. For almost the entire time they had been in town, they had been inviting people to this final party, although they hadn't told many people this was their final act. If it was up to them, Eric and his friend would have invited all of LA. The party was to start Friday night and would be over sometimes around dawn on Monday. They were flying back to New Jersey on Tuesday afternoon. From my phone conversations and discussions with the guys it seems as if they already had a permanent camp of about ten or fifteen people who pretty much never left the house. Their timing could not have been any better. Musicians take a break right before Thanksgiving, television people take the week off, and so this was almost a perfect storm of partying. They spent much of their remaining money on booze and even had valet service, although they said they got it for free from some guy they had met.

I showed up about 11pm Friday night. At that point, there were only about 50-60 people at the house, but you could sense that it was going to be big. It wasn't crazy yet. It was kind of like an appetizer before dinner or warming up before a game. No one was wild, no one was naked. There was no screaming, but at the same time you could sense this wasn't going to be a Sunday brunch either.

It was one of those parties where you lose track of time and expect it to be 6 hours later when you check the time, but in fact has only been an hour or so. More people began arriving, and the buzz grew louder. At that time it didn't seem like the party was all that noisy but that was because the noise had built up gradually. It was kind of like driving through the rain. When you have your wipers on so you turn the radio a little louder. The sound of the rain makes you turn it up another notch, but it all seems normal to you until you leave your car and come back and wonder who in the hell f**ked with your stereo and turned it up to maximum while you were in the 7-11.

Unusual for LA also was the fact that people were been bringing their own liquor and beer. Because of that, it seemed there was never any shortage of anything you wanted. Except food. I remember there was absolutely no food at all. No chips and dip. Nothing. It seems cliche, but the people who were doing coke were doing it in the bathroom, and there was a very large contingent down by the pool who were enjoying a spliff or 6 or 25. I remember this huge half circle around the deep end of the pool. About twenty people, maybe 25 and there was just this back and forth, back and forth with about five or six groups of people sharing within this greater circle. At the shallow end, people were playing water volleyball. In the game room, people were playing pool and betting. It was as if there were ten or more parties all going on simultaneously, and were just all enjoying themselves. There were just so many people that there was literally something for everyone.

When I left around 4am, there were no signs of anyone slowing down or anyone leaving. I came back on Saturday around 3pm and expected to find five or six people asleep or with glorious hangovers. Instead, there were even more people than the night before. From what Eric told me, there was a mass exodus around 630 or so when it began to get light, with only about 30 people remaining. Then, around noon, everyone came back, having slept, changed clothes and someone had even brought food. I didn't stay that long Saturday and actually didn't see the guys again until Tuesday morning when I brought the real estate guy by to do a walkthrough.

Eric told me the party didn't make it until Monday at dawn, but did make it until about midnight or 1am, and then it was if someone just turned on the lights after a concert, and everyone got up and left. They guys made $300 in recycling cans and bottles. At $.05 a bottle or can means that about 6000 beverages were consumed over the three days. They had filled 100 big black trash bags, and at one point had counted about 250 people on Saturday night.

On Tuesday, it was like no one had ever been there. Surprisingly there was no damage to the house except for that stain on the red love seat. Even though the guys had wanted to live like rock stars, at least they were wise enough not to trash the house like a rock star or Britney Spears' family. Instead of renting a house on the Jersey shore for a summer, they had instead done something which most of their friends could only dream about. They had taken LA by storm and had a blast. There are no life lessons to be learned. It was just a couple of guys who found a new way to have fun, and one of them even got to fall in love. They did learn that perception is not the same as reality when it comes to the people they see on the screen. They also did get hooked on the dream. I know Eric has been trying to sell a script based loosely on his month in town. Both Eric and his friend though are working at a very large law firm and are no doubt being forced to bill 2300 hours a year to keep their jobs and get one of those lovely year end bonuses. One of those bonuses would be plenty for a part two to their adventure, but so far, they haven't returned. If they do, I'll let you know because it will be one hell of a party.

38 comments:

Judi said...

Thinking you meant to type Matsuhisa, Enty. Ride of a lifetime these guys had. I want to know who the director is!

Cooper's Mom said...

Awesome story!!! i loved it!! i've got the most awful cold and am so rundown (it's from being up for 2 nights straight with a teething baby, not fun) that i can barely keep my eyes open but i was so enthralled i just had to finish it. it's well and truly bed time for this little momma.

Caroline said...

this was a great one enty

have a great week, like coopers mum I am off to bed shortly too... weekends just go by so quickly. :(

redgurl72 said...

Cooooooool story. I'd pay to go see the movie!

Majik said...

Terentino or Rodriguez for the director? I could totally see Terentino cozying up to a little Asian boy--he's creepy.

JustinD said...
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JustinD said...

So I basically read through all that for one BI?

Tarantino it is.

juju said...

ia this the time tarantino dated mira sorvino? or was another actress?

B.S. said...

I think Ent reads the comments.

nikki said...

Director with strong celebrity girlfriend. Brett Ratner and Serena Williams.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

If Tara had played her cards right, she could have had a nice lawyer husband from Joisey.

nadiakotsev said...

i enjoyed this because it seems believable and there was no build up/let down...thanks Ent...much better than Timmy (who still haunts me lol)

Bev said...

I think it's James Cameron...he was dating that muscular woman...can't remember her name.

nadiakotsev said...

Linda Hamilton was married to James Cameron...back in the 90's...way before this took place...

kellysirkus said...

uhm, no one who LIVES in California says
"go to the ocean"

kellysirkus said...

cooper's mom - feel better. nothing worse than a teething baby who also has a stuffed up nose ... ugh! I remember those days.

Kory said...

I have $50,000 (yes I really do, now I can't tell you how). Will you show me how to live like a Rock Star in LA? I already live here and would love to live an absolute seedy month. Oh who am I kidding, every month is a seedy month, just without the nasty celebs.

Harriet Hellfire said...

Haha, b.s., I was thinking the same thing...the words "good save" came to mind.
Awesome story, made me want to throw a party. At somebody else's house.

Jackie said...

This was a great story. Awesome idea from those guys and it would make a fabulous movie. Just one question - did they blow the entire $50k?

Dijea said...

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the last party.

Town Bike said...

Don't drink and drive

RandomRamblings said...

A-list director: Brett Ratner. There have been many rumors that he likes the company of men.

Cooper's Mom said...

Jackie, i think they did blow the rest of the money - Ent said on booze and valet service i think (def the valet part as that stuck in my head)

kelly thanks for your kind words, it's hard huh? AND i've signed up for another one; due in June but i'm so excited :)

mngddess said...

cooper's mom - feel better soon.

And Kory is ny BEST friend on this blog.....;.)

Cooper's Mom said...

I've decided that this is my favourite BI to date; it's just so much fun and you can totally understand their desire to do what they did. Doesn't everyone want to experience the rock star lifestyle just a little bit? at least this way they get to have an insight and give it up, so to speak, before they get totally hooked on all the drugs and completely lose sight of who they are etc. Good on them i say!

Cooper's Mom said...

I've decided that this is my favourite BI to date; it's just so much fun and you can totally understand their desire to do what they did. Doesn't everyone want to experience the rock star lifestyle just a little bit? at least this way they get to have an insight and give it up, so to speak, before they get totally hooked on all the drugs and completely lose sight of who they are etc. Good on them i say!

Cooper's Mom said...

urgh, told you i wasn't feeling well, sorry for the double post. it's called feelin like death warmed up and not being able to take usual drugs (medication) to help me get better faster as i'm pregnant. **tries to sniff very blocked nose**

TaterOnTheCouch said...

Since it just said "well publicized relationship," I'm going out on a limb and guessing Alexander Payne as the director. He was married to Sandra Oh at the time, who I would definitely describe as a strong female. "Sideways" had come out around that time and it was getting a lot of press.

Loved the BI btw!

Customer said...

I agree with nikki and random...I think it may be Brett Ratner because they said "celebrity" girlfriend, not "actress". Plus saying "athlete" or "sports" would have been too obvious. Timeframe is correct as well, they were constantly being phographed together then.

Cooper's Mom said...

ok i've done a little digging on what Ent calls 'the black-book directors'. Remember this blind item?

"About two years ago, this A list director known almost as much for the number of women he f**ks as for his directing, decided to keep an electronic journal/blackbook of the woman he had been with, wanted to be with and only heard about. It included their names, reputation, if they were good in bed, if they were bi, if they would have sex to get a role, anything and everything was included. One day he shared his journal with another A list director friend who also has a reputation and that director started adding all of his info as well and where the women overlapped, both reports were included. The two directors decided they wanted to be able to share their information with friends, other directors, and producers and so created an invitation only blog which now has several hundred entries and has been updated as recently as last week. It's like a wiki sex book but these two directors are the only ones who can edit the information or add anything. The only reports that are added are those of the 15 or so people who have access to the site and have had first hand knowledge of the women. No secondhand or rumors are allowed. No actors are allowed access to the site, and no married men either. If one of the 15 gets married or starts living with someone, the password is changed."

i definitely think that the director who was swapping spit with the Asian guy is Brett Ratner - how many directors do you know of who are as famous for the number of women they fuck as for the films they direct? One answer: Brett Ratner.

redgurl72 said...

That reeks of Brett Ratner and maybe Michael Bay as the other director he shared with. That blind is probably the one that creeps me out the most.

Customer said...
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Trix said...

Im not surprised he's shopping around the screenplay for this tale: it sounds contrived, and like we're being fed a story. Sounds like this was a poorly written script scrawled out over a weekend of bad margaritas on a beach somewere by some self satisfied sap who thinks "this stuff is really compelling!" So then he shops it around and his friend EL says OK well lets put it up on my site and see how well people respond to the story, first.

Boooooooor-ing.

And seriously, is this story so movie-worthy anyway? Who wants to watch a movie about a guy and his friend living the (temporary) Hollywood dream? Most of us, are disgusted by the Hollywood lifestyle. And those of us that arent, know that there are more exciting stories in Htown to be had, than this one. Wow, some big drug and alcohol filled boozefests...how is this any different than what we read in the blind items daily? Not to mention this story has NO cadence, no natural rythem, and NO real plot! Stupid! If this story is going to end up a screenplay, they're going to have to hire some REAL writers because this story works as a concept in theory ONLY, so far. Normal man has coke fueled sex romp with Blist actress? Great blind item and celebrity gossip fodder. Normal man has same coke binge and sex fest in a movie, and the shocker is supposed to be that its a well known actress? That...would never work...or be interesting in any shape or form.

This screenplay, and I do mean screenplay, as this WHOLE story sounds contrived and embellished, should never see the light of day. Shame on you EL. Why dont you email me, see if we can work something out--I know I sure as hell could write something better than that.

Nosey Parker said...

#1- Brittney Murphy
#2- Brandy Norwood
#3- Ray J
#4- David Faustino

EM? =]

bionic bunny! said...

i loved this. i don't understand why i did, and i'm even rushing off to catch bill murray on letterman, but i had to say, enty, i loved this. it was like a modern fairy tale as written for rolling stone or something. nobody died, everybody had fun, i can just see me (yes, even *GASP* a (quote)"registered" republican (WTF does that mean, anyway?).

thank you, for this one!!!!
bunny kisses!!!!!!!!

bionic bunny! said...

p.s. to cooper's mom:
my sympathies to you! my shoulder is finally healing nicely and my allergies have remained allergy and not cold or flu, so i thank the powers that be for that!
hang in there, i remember too well the days!

Caitlin said...

I love this story. I don't think that's what I would do if I won 50 thousand but it's an amazing way to blow it.

Also I suspect Ratner he's the only one really linked to big name actress.

Laura said...

I am thinking RobRod and Tarentino for the black book directors, but that could just be me