Friday, February 27, 2009

Flying Soon? Stock Up On Adult Diapers


Close your eyes for just a second and imagine an airplane flight where you had to pay money to use the toilet. The door won't open until you slide in your credit card, or dollar bill or exact change. It all sounds great in practice doesn't it? You are an airline and you know people will use the bathroom so you might as well make a buck off it.

Ryanair, which is one of the largest discount carriers in the world is considering charging people 1 Pound to use the bathroom on their flights. So, let's see, that is about $1.43 here in the US.

So, what exactly happens when the guy who has had four beers in the bar at the airport wants to use the bathroom but the credit card reader can't get a signal, or the machine just won't take your wrinkly dollar bill? Will the flight attendants take mercy on you? Will they have a special area for the people who don't have any money? Will they sell adult diapers for those really long flights where you know you will have to use the bathroom several times?

I predict that within a month, the bathroom door will have been broken down so much by frustrated passengers that the whole idea will just be shelved. Of course just because you are paying the $1.43 for te toilet doesn't mean it will be any cleaner now does it?

19 comments:

Bodie said...

What a load of crap. Pun intended.

Mooshki said...

Ha, when I heard this story this morning, my first thought was of you, Enty. :)

When I was in Turkey, many of the toilets were pay, or you had to pay if you wanted toilet paper. (Yes, I did.)

I think they should have toilet auctions - as the flight goes on, see what people are willing to pay to pee. With my small bladder, they could make a fortune off of me.

Ror said...

So...I could bring on my own empty carry on, and only charge a buck and clean up!

And clean up..and clean up..

Reese said...

It used to be standard practice to charge money to use a bathroom on an airplane (American carriers); it still is in many restaurants/hotels in Europe, Asia, Africa and South America (not in your hotel room, in the lobby). I remember ads for Alaska Airlines (this was when I was a little kid in the very late '80s/early 90s) touting that they didn't charge money for use of their airplane bathrooms. Their TV commercials were funny; they showed a desperate passenger trying to get change to open the bathroom door. He started out by asking his fellow passengers if they had four quarters for a dollar. Then it showed him running up and down the aisles of the plane yelling "A quarter for $5?!" These ran in California for at least a few years.

Goodgrief said...

Reminds me of the little song my uncle used to sing. "Here I sit all broken hearted paid a nickle to sh*t and only f*rted" So, I think pay toilets have been around for decades, nothing new.

sandman said...

my advice would be to never reach into that seat pocket again.

not on my dollar said...

Pay toilets have been around in Europe for decades but not in the U.S..

In regards to pay toilets on a plane that's ridiculous. We pay enough for the airfare and toilet usage is already included in the price.

If an airline starts this practice I'll be the one applauding when they go out of business.

Harriet Hellfire said...

I think Ryanair can get away with pretty much anything because their fares are so low. And most of their flights are short ones too. It's still a ridiculous thing to be charging for, but I bet they can get away with it.

Mooshki said...

Has anyone noticed that some airlines don't have barf bags anymore? I know people use them as garbage bags, so they probably were costing a lot, but man, what a thing to not have when you need it. I sat next to someone who had Taco Bell right before getting on the plane (how dumb is that?) and I don't even want to think what would've happened if a barf bag hadn't been there.

Majik said...

I think Depends should partner with the ticketing agents...they'd make a fortune.

notvotingforsuckno said...

I have Crohn's Disease and fly to Hawaii twice a year. I have had some, uh close calls with the bathroom, shall we say. I don't think the flight attendants would be very happy with what they would have to deal with if the bathroom door was made more diifcult to open. Not to mention the other passengers in fist class (Imagine the letter the "Richard" guy would write!).

bionic bunny! said...

i've NEVER seen a pay toilet on an airplane, and i've flown a decent amount of times since 1968. the alaskan airlines ad was a joke, just touting the fact that they were one of the nicest airlines to fly. in fact, airline service has only gone downhill over the years, not up.
there used to be pay toilet stalls in a lot of public places throughout the states, for the life of me i can't think of one example, but they were pretty common. they were usually about ten cents, and lord help you if you were a kid. but never on an airlplane.

jax said...

pay toilets on the ground, you have options if you don't wish to pay ,but on a PLANE???
Isn't that denying some kind of right..somehow?

And what kind of currency do you need? Logistical nightmare for any international travellers.

Reese said...

Pay toilets have existed on American carriers in my lifetime (I'm 25); I've been flying all over the world since infancy (well over a million miles, literally), and I remember pay toilets on American airliners, and that was in first class. Very common on transoceanic flights. Nice that it has been discontinued. The Alaskan Airlines ad wasn't a joke; pay toilets still existed in that time frame.

captivagrl said...

Public Health Hazard.

BTW-I remember when Woolworths had paid toilets. You would insert a dime (like a parking meter and it would unlock). I've seen these in Europe recently. I can be a real problem when you have small children and you don't have the proper coins/currency.

selenakyle said...

When we took our illegal honeymoon in Havana, at first we had no idea why ladies sat in front of bathrooms taking money at all gov't places (which is pretty much all places in Cuba!)

They sold you the toilet paper, in little sheets. None was ever in the bathrooms.

I had to either keep loose change on me or bring folded up toilet paper from our hotels with me so I could take a freaking whiz wherever we went.

Ms. said...

RyanAir is so inepensive, they'll be able to get away with it. I once had a flight with them that was under $20 Canadian.

Jerry said...

I've seen pay toilets on the ground; never in the air in all the years I've been flying {I'm 117 years old}.

Ryanair is getting such bad publicity I predict this idea will never get off the ground.

Rimshot, please.

Tom said...

Head on over to www.yourdiaper.com and stock up on those adult diapers!