Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Unless It Involves Pinatas And Lotion I Don't Even Want To See It


The Sun is reporting that when Lindsay Lohan heard about that fake sex tape of hers last week that she immediately called Calum Best and said:

"I can't believe you would ever f**king do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have f**king trusted you. It's everywhere now, all over the net, everyone's seen it, how f**king could you?"

Now, first of all I don't know how anyone on earth would ever give Calum Best a $1.00 and expect him to ever pay you back, let alone believe him if he says that he is going to keep a sex tape private. You have got to be kidding me. A drug addict with a sex tape of a celebrity? How long do you think that is going to last in his possession? Most people would hold out for about $1M. Calum if he needed crack bad enough would probably give it up the tape for enough to get him through the week.

But, even if there is a sex tape, who cares. Seriously. Sex tapes between celebrities are never really a turn on. Oh, there is that first few seconds of seeing someone famous naked in all their glory barking like a dog, but after that it just becomes like any two people having sex, which is to say boring. It is porn without the acting or the editing. Yes, you might say that porn actors can't act, but I would say you are wrong. If you can act turned on and totally into it while Ron Jeremy is pounding away at you, then you are a good actress. You just happen to have a different acting skill set than Meryl Streep.

So, if there is a Lindsay Lohan sex tape, I don't really care. Michael Lohan will be first in line, but I don't really care. Now, if Reese Witherspoon has a sex tape, that would be interesting. She seems like she would not be much of a giver. More of a taker.

14 comments:

Twisted Sister said...

There isn't that much left of her to be seen, is there?

Catherine said...

You said it, Twisted. And you just KNOW that Papa Lohan was the camera man!

daniel said...

Ugghh. I though my studio city Katsu-ya was safe from people like this. That's why it's in the valley, so no people like her show up.

jlb said...

I think that Lilo would definitely be in on the release of any sex tape...she'd never pass up that coke/shopping money....

Twisted Sister said...

Catherine....ewwwww... Is he as bad as Pimpa Joe?

Daniel, bummer. Guess you'll have to find a new place, eh? Either that, or make her life miserable if she does show up while you're there.

GammaGirl said...

Why did she flip out if the sex tape wasn't even her to begin with?

This is why Lilo should pursue relations with the Tomboy.

RagDoll said...

Ha ha ha! Twist! Walk up to her table every 5 minutes and take flash pictures 18 inches from her face. Make one of her lame songs your ring tone and then call yourself from your dinner companion's cell all night long. Follow her into the restroom.


...is the Reese thing a clue? I just know there's a clue buried in that "more of a taker" line

Twisted Sister said...

LOL - Daniel - be sure to take Ragdoll with you if you go on a night Blohan is there!

Gamma, either she thought it was real, or she was pissed because it wasn't. Or maybe she's mad she didn't think of it first.

jax said...

i love how most people would go "this isn't even me" and go back to their lives and Lindsay has been so fooked up she doesn't even know if it's her,she just assumes it! lol.

the true test of a slut.

GammaGirl said...

@ TS: I feel so sorry for LiLo's publicist. Homegirl's antics blow my mind. If I has just had the year she had, I would issue denials until I was blue in the face.

I'm not sure about that Reese comment. It must be a clue because Reese seems extremely vanilla.
Hmmm...

Twisted Sister said...

Gamma, I just hope her p.r. person is making a boatload of money so he or she doesn't have to do this for much longer. I can't imagine....


I thought the Reese comment was just an EL comment, not a hint.

Kory said...

Nonetheless, I want to see that Reese sex tape because it would be with Phillippe or Gyllenhaal. Either will do just fine. I need a new movie for my desktop background.

shiny_special_one said...

Nice sandals.

Marnie said...

If anybody wants a sex tape of Linds, you could probably just ask nicely.

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