Monday, July 21, 2008

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo


That's the sound that escaped my mouth as I read the NY Daily News blurb about Kim Kardashian being on the short list for the next edition of Dancing With The Stars. I say we kidnap Tom Bergeron right now and just nip this in the bud.

This is my worst possible nightmare coming true. Seriously. Look you and I and the people who read the internet know about Kim Kardashian. People who are New Orleans Saints fans know who Kim Kardashian is. That's it. Oh, I know she has her show on E!, but lets face it. You me, and about ten other people even know where E! is on their cable.

As I saw it, the show would play itself out after another year or so of Kim eating Hostess and trying trap Reggie any way she could. She then would fade away, only turning up every six months or so on QVC twenty pounds heavier trying to sell some crap people will want to buy because of her name.

She would be gone. Done. Now though there is this. DWTS is a popular show and it is on a network. One week on DWTS will attract more viewers than she has had watch her reality show since it began, combined.

People who don't know that she won an award for worst porn performance by someone still alive will just trust that ABC will only put people on television they can get behind. And they will certainly see that behind. If they let her on this show, I swear to you she will be around for years. Our only hope is that she thinks the show is beneath her and doesn't do it or that Disney comes to their senses and decides they don't want a porn star on their network in prime time. Her blog will attract new fans and new blatherings. I won't be able to take her talk of hard work and sacrifice for the show and how she broke a nail but still soldiered on until the distraction became too much even for her and had a team flown in to put a new nail on and how Reggie was so happy to pay. Each week we'll be forced to look at all the sisters and Bruce Jenner with a dazed look and drool puddling at the side of his mouth.

We just can't let this happen.

14 comments:

mooshki said...

Dear god. If they let Heather Mills on, though, is there any hope they'll come to their senses about KK? Although Heather's porn past came out after DWTS, right? If she becomes mainstream, our culture is dead.

Ayesha said...

I hate her too, but she's not any worse than any of the other celebutards out there.

And it's inevitable. The Kardashians are too many to ignore. One of them will always be doing something to get the spotlight. They're like cockroaches. If you see one, you know there are ten more hiding somewhere...

Jackson Griffith said...

Let's face some uncomfortable facts. We all have died, and we've gone to hell, and this is what happens: Big-assed no-talented gold-digging beeyotches like Kim Kardashian get to be network stars, while the rest of us try to evade their ugly gaze as it's foisted into the hellcultural slipstream.

Can we summon Paul Lynde back from wherever he is to comment on this?

GammaGirl said...

This is no worse than when they let Not-linda get all the attention a few seasons ago. Also, I could see Kim being a hot mess on the dancefloor. Could be hilarious...

mooshki said...

She's the female Mario Lopez, look what DWTS did for him. :( And god knows I want to shoot my tv/computer every time I see his stinky face.

jax said...

why is this whore being forced down my throat again? i forget.

who would have thought an post-op amped up ass and a whore tape would lead to this...

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Um, do people really WATCH that shit? It looks boring as hell to me, but I guess I'm just one person.

Lynne said...

Ayesha wrote:

They're like cockroaches. If you see one, you know there are ten more hiding somewhere...

That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks!

BlahFrickinBlah said...

This girl is skank cubed. I saw her on Jimmy Kimmel the other night. She was so boring that Jimmy and Justin Timberlake looked suicidal. You could hear a high pitch squeal from the air escaping from her head. Maybe it was her ass. Who knows. The only way this will turn out tolerable in any way shape or form is that she totally "dance" challenged. Even then, the stupid people who give this girl the attention to keep showing up in the press will probably vote for her to stay on the show. I'd rather burn my eyes out with a hot poker.

jax said...

blah- was it like when you pull the nib of a balloonas the air comes out and it goes all squeaky?
ya totally her ass.

Judi said...

As if I watch this show anyway.

Unknown said...

Dear. Gawd. No. Not more publicity for her. No. No. No.

Of course, there's always the silver lining of how amusing it will be to watch her and her massive ass struggle through dances like the RUMPba and the JitterBUTT... *juvenile laughter ensues*

Okay, that was horrible and I sincerely apologize. I couldn't resist.

selenakyle said...

ayesha and lynne--oughta make that "kockroaches," huh?

You never know, she might suck hard and get kicked off early--y'all might be giving her too much credit expecting her to hang around long enough to matter!

Oh yeah though, there's gonna be some serious shaking going down even if she makes it through one week.

Yes, I watch. Religiously, actually...

ureallyannoyme said...

If the terrorists would cooperate this could be mutually beneficial:
Watches Dancing with the Stars + Thinks Kim Kardashian is talented = "Collateral" damage.

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