Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Lindsay Lohan To Sell Ads On Her Body - Blames Lack Of Sleep As A Child For All Her Problems


Now that Lindsay Lohan is supposedly safe and sound in rehab somewhere for a few weeks Dina and Michael Lohan can fight over who will get to exploit Lindsay the most. Each of them has a master plan to control Lindsay and any future money she makes. What kills me is that they still think that people believe what they say about caring for their daughter. The only thing they care about is money and the only way they make any is because of Lindsay.

When Lindsay was released after 15 hours of jail she tried to sell a photo of herself for $10K but no one was willing to pay that much. She had to settle for like $2000. So, to make up for it, she decided to sell staged photos of herself before heading off to rehab and she got another $2000 for those.

At this point I think she should just sell ads on her body and be done with it. If she chose she could also legally change her name to some product. That would bring in a few bucks. Seriously can you imagine if she changed her name to Smuckers Jam or something. How often would you hear those words? Hell, if Dina had her way she would talk to some big company like Kraft and would sell naming rights to all her kids. Hi, this is Mac & Cheese and say hi to Velveeta over there.

As you can see in the photo, Lindsay is pretending to read a book called sleep. For their $2000, Radar also got an exclusive interview with presumably Dina although credited as a source. I say Dina because all the interview does is provide another excuse for why Lindsay takes drugs.

“Lindsay hopes to use this book to help restructure her sleeping patterns so she can function better. She has been shooting films into the wee hours of the morning since she was 11 or 12 years old and then sleeping in trailers while on the set. She never established a normal sleeping pattern. She was recommended the book by both a doctor and a friend and hopes it will guide her in the right direction.”

Uh huh.

41 comments:

looserdude said...

If you could sue parents for malpractice....

selenakyle said...

Well hell, why develop good sleeping habits when they have PILLS for that???

Please, these people make me sick.

DONE. NEXT!

sunnyside1213 said...

Smuckers Jam. That is priceless Enty.

califblondy said...

Too bad she had enough money to pay for those lips. Ugh.

SkittleKitty said...

I listen to the radio to and from work these days (top 40/pop) and this morning show that I cannot stand interviewed Michael Lohan. They were playing an excerpt of the interview later in the day (can't stand to actually listen to the morning show) and the host of the show called Michael a douche (while talking on the phone with him).
Most people would be 'so offended' they would hang up on the 'interviewer' but not Michael L. To do otherwise might have cost him a few more seconds of his fifteen minutes.
Whole family is f*cked.

MISCH said...

Well taking Adderall which is another name for speed....sure won't help...
she simply does not know how to tell the truth...

libby said...

I have a theory that no one cares about!
(I pretty much only read CDAN and Dlisted, and I only read comments here---so if someone else has already speculated this, I'm sorry.)

I think LL has been using Ali's urine for all these 'clean' tests she has taken over the last few years. But this time, Ali's urine was not clean, and LL is taking the fall for Ali.
The only reason I think so is that LL has not been fighting this very hard. I know a positive test is hard to fight, but the Lohan denial/blame-shifting machine is surprisingly low-key.
I only think LL & WO know about this, and are keeping it from ML, for obvious reasons. If the story broke that lil Ali is now on coke too, WO & her weekly BS machine would finally be hoisted upon its own petard for sure.

Like I said, I don't even care if I'm right, I just have a weird feeling about this one.

KLM said...

@libby - I hadn't read that theory yet - it is interesting. The only thing is, why wouldn't Ali just tell them the urine wouldn't be clean? I mean, it's a drug test. They're going to find out!

The Nightmare Child said...

libby...my homegirl.


I've been speculating the exact same thing.

What I want to know is...where is Lindz getting all this money from to keep bailing herself out? I have a theory that she's got a major A lister as a financial backer (translation: sugar daddy/sugar mama) and this person keeps bailing her out and in exchange for the financial help...she sleeps with them. That's the only logical explanation. It's pretty much an open secret in Hollywood that Lindsay is one of the best lays out there. Now what I want to know is...who's her financial backer?

Patty said...

I'm no doctor, but I think her sleep patterns were shot to hell by her constant partying, not work. When was the last time she actually shot a film?

Stephen said...

At this point I think LL only has two options...porn (Inferno being the first step in that direction) or high price hooker (which she may already be doing).

zandra said...

She's had one cameo part in 4 years on Machete, she was on set for 3 days - meaning she had 2 disrupted nights of sleep IN 4 YEARS. Nice try Dina but lying and covering up for her by saying it's because of her work schedule is simply retarded. If she couldn't sleep it was because she was drunk taking Adderal and cocaine! Jesus lying at this point - her 5th rehab is only making her sicker by avoiding what is really wrong with her. It's mostly the parents who couldn't manage to give her the tools to be a functioning adult. Still say out of the two mooches Dina's the lesser evil. Her father is a demon in fakey preacher clothes. Run Lindsay it's your last chance!

RocketQueen said...

Dear lord she is pathetic.

You've almost GOT to laugh at the sleeping pattern excuse. They're sure running down the list of possible excuses for her behaviour without ever accepting responsibility.

@Stephen - totally agree. If it's good enough for Paris, it's more than good enough for this has-been.

rebellious, contrary and nice said...

Oh, there are rumors that Lindsay is a great lay? WOW. However, I predict that Lindsay will end up in porn more so than hooking.

Cheryl said...

If sleep deprivation turns you into a shameless addict whore then all then me and every mom I know is a shameless addict whore.

MISCH said...

High priced hooker...she has multiple std's....who'd pay for that ?

jen said...

This photo is KILLING ME XD "Oh, oops, you caught me reading self help books on a balcony - AGAIN!" She did that already on one of her previous visits to rehab! F*cking hell XD

JoElla said...

"If sleep deprivation turns you into a shameless addict whore then all then me and every mom I know is a shameless addict whore."

Well hell! You mean I could have been having lots of fun for the past 16 years?!

boy I miss out on everything!
*pouts*

surfer said...

@ Nightmare Child

I believe her new "manager," Lou Taylor is bailing her out. It was pretty common knowledge that she did the last time. She's the brunette you see with Dina (in & out of Lynnwood, shopping, etc.).

DJ said...

i think the 'razzi and websites should just boycott writing about her and publishing photos of her. then her family can self-destruct and not take up the rest of our bandwidth!

Maja. With a J. said...

Libby, I think you may be on to something there.

The Nightmare Child said...

@surfer - I highly doubt it's her manager or anyone in her immediate circle. I'm thinking it's someone A-List with a big bankroll and a fetish for burn-outs.

libby said...

I'm glad to read some of you think I'm not crazy.
Ali is young and dumb, and being a Lohan, probably would hope the sample would somehow be clean and she would never have to admit anything.

RocketQueen said...

Libby - lol at "being a Lohan". So true. This family is beyond ridiculous.

zandra said...

She's krytonite right now, I don't think anyone with a career has been seen out with her for years. Nobody in the industry wants to be associated with her, and certainly not dropping 30k. She's got no famous A list friends. B or C list either. Everyone she's worked with hates her because she kept people waiting for hours until she was ready to work. She's treated everyone terribly. Remember the saying be careful of who you step on while you're climbing the ladder because you will meet them on the way down? Yeah.Most.Hated.Actress. Read what DJ Qualls said about her, it's like he had a crystal ball. She treated him horribly. He's working all the time and she's desperate for work. Lou is keeping her afloat.

The Bitch Next Door said...

So she's just like Neely in VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, unable to get quality sleep due to her heavy work load! CRAP DINA, LOAD OF CRAP

The Bitch Next Door said...

As much as I've always hated TOM LEYKIS he always said the BEST LAYS were the crazy broads and that fits Lilo to a T.

The Nightmare Child said...

@The Bitch Next Door - Neely O'Hara = Judy Garland.

nancer said...

now let me get this straight: lindsay is clean but ali isn't and lindsay's going to rehab for the 5th time to cover for her sister?

are you sure you aren't taking some of lindsay's shit? i mean really, that makes no fucking sense.

is it so hard to understand LL is a FUCKING DRUG ADDICT???? lying and deceit is what they DO. until someone breaks through that and she gets real, this whole scenario will repeat itself until she OD's or hurts somebody else.

MCH said...

@SkittleKitty - I saw a similar interview on TV w/ Michael & his new girlfriend (?). The interviewer asked why so many people hated him & he said something to the effect of "The devil makes people do terrible things." He would know, right??

RocketQueen said...

uh nancer, I think you've misunderstood/misread. They're saying Lindsay has never even TRIED to stop and that Ali may have been providing the piss samples for LL all along, but Ali's on the bad shit now, so no more clean samples for Lindsay. Chill out.

sunnyside1213 said...

Wasn't Neely O'Hara played by Patty Duke?

The Bitch Next Door said...

Yep Neely was Patty Duke.

The Bitch Next Door said...

Using someone else's pee??
I thought drug/pee testing was supposed to be done infront of your parole officer for this very reason. Dina better speed up her schedule to pimp out Ali because the money tree (Lilo) will soon be full of black elm disease.

The Nightmare Child said...

Neely was played by Patty Duke, but she was pretty much based on Judy Garland....young Judy.

Judy in her later years resembled Helen Lawson. Or vice versa.

ctkat1 said...

@ zandra: perfectly said.

Lindsay should be the cautionary tale for every young starlet with a hint of fame right now- Hollywood is a really small town and once you burn a few bridges, you may find yourself with no other options. People don't forget when they are treated badly.

Majik said...

So my two legitimately diagnosed sleeping disorders mean that I can become a drug addict? Woo hoo!!

Honey, fetch me a speedball!!

MadLyb said...

Any bets as to when her new PR machine dumps her? I have to admit, they aren't doing a bad job, considering what they have to work with. The homeless shelter visit was a little over the top, but some people might buy it. They'll likely dump her because of her mother.

Mango said...

Sleep. Yes, that's what Lindsay needs. *rolls eyes*

I'm shocked that Lindsay is a good lay. She seems as if she sleepwalks through everything. I'll bet sex is no different. She might yowl and scratch like a wildcat but it's just acting.

Unless you're calling her a best lay based on the fact that she's up for anything with anyone. Girl has to pay for her drinks and drugs somehow.

mngddess said...

More importantly, Lindsay can read!

bionic bunny! said...

majik, i agree. all these tests i'm undergoing can be thrown out the window!
pass me the pipe, sister! and i've always wondered what timothy leary was talking about!!
lol!

yeah, right.

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