Friday, August 17, 2007

Ted C. Blind Item

Sylvester Slimeball was a household name years ago when he was a major posh pooh-ba on a long-running boob-tube series. Boyfriend hasn’t done anything really big (well, certainly not as big as the man’s equipment down below happens to be) until now.

See, Sylvester’s coming to an entertainment enterprise near you...how exciting! I’m simply thrilled, and you will be, too, I’m sure! And now that S2’s a hot commodity again in ever-fickle Hollywood, S.S. has supposedly become quite the lothario—again. I mean, you know how a schmuck’s sleaze scale rises and falls along with his pro-meter, doncha? Men are always so predictable that way.

Now, Sly (no relation to Sly Stallone, promise) has been hitting on the hot young thangs who toil at his agency’s office and asking them out, despite the fact that S.S. is very much hitched, with tykes, to boot. Oh, please. Make me barf, already. You straights are even more indiscriminate than we fagolas are, and we can certainly be Slutty Sallys, fer sure!

Now, a little flirting never hurt anyone, but Sly Slime-B totally crossed the line with his recent bad-boy behavior, as Mr. Es actually showed up, unannounced and uninvited, to an assistant’s house—after working hours, natch. Dirty deets be that S.S. was carrying flowers and begged said worker bee to go on a “date” with him. When the horrified hon pointed out the much older S.S. was friggin’ married, his reply was too Tinseltown typical:

“It’s just for show,” he swore, "like all the Hollywood marriages."

Nice.

19 comments:

jencrew said...

David Duchovny?

buvez.rose said...

mcdouche duchovny

april said...

David Duchovny is en excellent guess! I've heard that he is well hung, so that fits as well.

donna said...

sounds like agent mulder is stepping out on poor tea ...what a jitbag

kellysirkus said...

Kelsey Grammer?

jax said...

Douche Douchcoveny fro sure..his new show is call Californication for shizz sake.

Molly said...

Jerry Seinfeld whose Bee movie is in post production and coming out soon.

Hez said...

DutchOven loves the weed and the peelers, that's fo shizz. He was a major supporter of "the ballet" when they filmed X-Files here.

I don't know if the marriage is 100% for show, but Tea's just gotta be aware of her man's addiction to strip clubs. And if he's stuffing bills down g-strings, he's probably trying to stuff other things down there, too...

ms_wonderland said...

Kelsey Grammer fits the clues much better than David D. 'Posh poo-ba' is very Frasier, who liked opera/operetta. He's in a major new film (Swing Vote) with lots of big names, where David only has a minor film and possible future X files movie on IMDB. Kelsey has been sleasy in the past when he's been successful. He's on his third wife, who has two kids.


I can't connect the 'And it Ain't's - Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Dezel Washington. All A list film actors.

linda said...

I think Duchovny is a good guess, but the "ain'ts" are Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Denzel Washington. Please help tie these in, because I am at a loss!!!

Molly said...

I think the aints mean the entertainment vehicle he's about to get exposure from is going to be a movie and thats why I guessed Jerry Seinfeld because of his Bee movie.

linda said...

Way too broad for the "ain'ts"....each person usually has some sort of connection to the blind. I also think that the "posh" is a clue, but my best friend had dinner not too long ago with Kelsey and his wife, and did not pick up those vibes from him at all. She thought he was very attentive to his wife.

Kory said...

I think that the David Duchovny guess is correct and the key is Angelina Jolie. Huh? She did movies with Denzel Washington (Bone Collector), Matt Damon (The Good Shepherd), Brad Pitt (Mr and Mrs. Smith) and David Duchovny (Playing God).

quiet427 said...

linda said...
I think Duchovny is a good guess, but the "ain'ts" are Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Denzel Washington. Please help tie these in, because I am at a loss!!!
=========================

Well David D was in a movie called Kalifornia with Brad Pitt...that's all i got.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

For some reason I thought of Tim Allen drooling over Hayden Pantiwhoeva that time. But I can't reconcile that guess with the "AIN'TS"

donna said...

well kory .. way to pull it altogether .. nice work!

linda said...

Kory...you are GOOD! The ain'ts were the only thing that were holding me up...It is Duchovny!

tania said...

Duchovny is a good guess.

I've seen the pilot of Californication. Though it was amusing enough, it left a bad taste in my mouth for the same reason Rescue Me does. Basically he's a middle-aged actor (the executive producer, natch) who makes sure his character gets more ass than a toilet seat, despite being a jerk who is past his best physically. Of course, this is totally true-to-life , and in no way a vanity project... ;-)

Helena said...

tania---noooo, it's ART, baby, high ART! :D

I like Douche-ovney for this too...