Friday, December 19, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Toothy Tile, we hardly knew ya. Last week it was signed confidentiality agreements with your male paramours (other than your main man); this week it's far, far, far worse: pretend, horrible sex with a member of the opposite sex, in hopes that your studly reputation will somehow be fixed. Ain't gonnna work—here's why:

Repeat Blind Vice offender Toothy has a former fling running her (yes, her) mouth around town about a drug-infested hookup with Mr. Tile. Do tell, babes! Apparently, T.T. banged said blabber to try to prove to himself—or more importantly, the powers that be (managers, publicists, the public) that he isn't gay. See, the more chicks he hooks, the farther back in the closet he goes; just how his handlers want it.

Eh, not really the best plan, as Tooth's last female "lover," if you could call her that, has been yapping away about her evening with the now A-list famous type. But it wasn't exactly candles and cuddles like you'd think.

Try tons of coke. Toothy would make this lady blow lines all over his tight bod until he was “numb,” bitched the gal who did the blowing. Then they could get down to business in what we're told were very "interesting" positions, i.e., painfully unnatural and not exactly enjoyable.

As disturbing as this news is, we must say we feel a bit sorry for our beloved Tooth (not to mention the used honey). This all took place, we're told, before Tile hooked up with his current beard, right when he was adamantly told not to come out, so it's no wonder he turned to drugs.

What's next? Meth with Morgan Mayhem? Pray not.

And It Ain't: All 3 Jonas Bros.

29 comments:

Bad Fish said...

Sigh. Milking another Toothey Tile. How is it that EL has more blinds that Ted C could dream of?

twunty mcslore said...

I think that Ted is secretly in love with Toothy.

Mooshki said...

Jakey-poo, tell your publicists we'll still love you if you come out! Hell, we'll love you more, 'cause this sh*t you're pulling now is f*cked up. Austin's a cutie-pie - everyone will coo over you!

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

For the first time, I REALLY HOPE Toothy isn't Jake.

I don't care that Toothy's gay. I care that he's forced to so painfully live a lie.
Sad smut.

Harriet Hellfire said...

The fact that he is gay and does all these things is not the shocking part. What is upsetting, like little miss said, is that he is forced to live a lie.

I don't know if this is Jake Gyllenhaal or not - I know it is the general consensus - but whoever it is MUST eventually crack under all the pressure and come out.

Moosefan said...

Coke and Sex? That is sooooooo Studio 54 and soooo 70's and 80's.

Seriously though-stop living a lie to yourself. Your fans will love you still and you can get a whole buncha money for the People magazine "Yes I am" cover. Its a win win man man situation!

One more thing-I am thinking that this is Jeremy Piven. Mercury Poisoning? More like too much other drug poisoning...

Terrance said...

Why do people still believe that there is actually a toothy tile? Ted is irevelavant. Trust if there was a toothy tile, Enty and Lainey would have done BI's on it already.

vamp said...

this makes me think isnt jake...but all the clues from past blinds scream his name!

vamp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sis said...

I still think Toothy is Matthew McConaughey.

Dan said...

MM has been not'd.

Everyone knows TT refers to Jake Gyllenhaal but I don't believe any of it. Are we really supposed to believe that somehow Ted knows all this stuff about a huge movie star that no one else reports on? Considering that Toothy also supposedly has a baby with his lover, I'm curious where it was during this coke session.

I think Jake is probably bi but who cares any more. It's not like I'll get to sleep with him.

(the original blind said TT was going to come out as bi anyway but at some point it switched to him being totally gay)

LesbianCherryPie said...

Newbie here! Please let this be the GMD.

sandman said...

it is weird that ted is the only one that reports hes gay.
wouldn't the paps get paid mega$ for pics of his indescretions?

Jamie's Girl said...

But if publicists knew about him sleeping with a woman, wouldn't they publicize it so that the world would think he's gay? Jake is with Reese, period. No ifs, ands or butts. He's not hooking up with anyone as long as he's with Reese (unless it's a guy). So this makes me think now that it is Jeremy Piven. Definitely no Jake.

jagerlilly said...

I'm not sure that I believe it's Jake either. Seems like the general feeling is that nobody would really care if he came out. Kinda like NPH, he'd be applauded rather than blasted. It's gotta be some leading man, heart-pounder type...

KellyLynn said...

It really seems like Ted is trying to bully Toothy into coming out. The more he rehashes and posts more blinds about Toothy, the more Ted comes across as being a complete asshole.
I'm also wondering why Ted hasn't had anyone new to post blinds about in a while. There have to be new people doing bastardly things, right? Maybe he's lost his great sources?

Jaiden said...

FYI, Ted isn't the only one reporting Jake is gay. He's just the most vocal about it.

Regardless, it's sad that TT can't just be himself.

shakey said...

People are starting to get tired of it. Either Ted has to out him, which would be really mean, or he has to stop talking about Tooth. I vote for the latter.

bionic bunny! said...

i just want to state for the record that i've ALWAYS doubted TT was jake. i'll probably keep saying that, because just ONCE i'd like to be right. i'm kind of a control freak that way.
i just like him and reese together. and i agree with everyone here, it sucks in this day and age that the poor guy can't just live his life and be happy.

kanonymous said...

Jamie's Girl,

Toothy hooked up with the girl BEFORE he started "dating" his latest beard. So it could still be Jake.

Aline said...

you know what I don`t get about Jake being TT? I don`t get why Reese would need to be someone`s beard! She`s an oscar winning actress!!

Ernestine said...

Someone honestly needs to kick fucking Ted Casablancas in his prissy little 'nads.

I think he's making ALL of this up -- but even if he isn't, can Jake G. make the decision to come out all on his own? What the FUCK is Ted's obsession with this?

BORING, TED. YOU ARE BORING AS SHIT. You are honestly the most BORING gay dude I can think of. Seriously.

Lisa said...

No one is forced to live a lie.
Abdicating control over his life is idiotic. Harsh? Too bad.

selenakyle said...

This shit always kills me cuz coke and sex go together about as well as sandpaper and eyeballs.

Sorry to be crude, but c'mon. What guys can get it up on coke, and what chicks can shut the fuck up long enough to suck a dick?

Ecstasy, maybe. Coke, no way. All BS.

kanonymous said...

"I don`t get why Reese would need to be someone`s beard!"

I'm not sure why Reese would be a beard for Jake either, but I know that her ex-husband liked men, too (not saying he doesn't like girls), so I always wondered what was going on there . . .

Martin Devon said...

Jake is with Reese, period.

LOL
Reese Witherspoon's PR team is selling that bullshit for 2 years.

Reese doesn't want to look like a loser after Ryan dumped her for Abbie.
She wants tabloid covers and media coverage to sell Avon and romcoms.
She wants "I have it all" public image and she needs someone like Jake for that.

Jake needs straight image.

Simple.

Martin Devon said...

This shit always kills me cuz coke and sex go together about as well as sandpaper and eyeballs.

False.

Been there, done that.

myx n mingle said...

Toothy is obviously JG.

I'm guessing the former "lover" is Kirsten Dunst - they were together for a looong time back in the day.

David D. said...

I'm with Myx--Jake and the odious KD. And Jake, sadly, has been a bit too much of the party boy in the past, so coke and sex is not that surprising. (Though if I had to get naked with KD, you'd have to shoot me up with thorazine.)