Monday, December 15, 2008

Aubrey O' Day Is Gay This Week

Apparently the gay for attention thing has jumped the shark because Aubrey O' Day is having all of her friends tell the media that Aubrey is now "out and proud," and even has a girlfriend of two weeks. Umm, if she is so out and proud then why is she having all of her friends tell the world and not herself. Hey, if she is gay, then more power to her for coming out. I know I am probably wrong about this but it seems to me that if people are wanting to be gay and see being gay as some sort of status symbol than it bodes well for gay rights and tolerance and a positive discussion. But, a part of me worries that somehow the Lindsay Lohans, Aubrey O' Day's and Anne Heche's of the world are going to make it appear that being gay is something that can be turned on and off like a light switch. I'm not sure that is a good thing. Maybe the turning on and off is their way of giving themselves an excuse if needed by saying they never said they were gay and that the woman they were with was just a really good friend.

Maybe they are only willing to be gay as long as it is in their best interest and in the best interest of their career. Of course this doesn't really apply to Lindsay or Aubrey since they don't have any discernible career. I'm just wondering that if Lindsay suddenly got offered the lead in a blockbuster popcorn flick what would become of Samantha. Would they still be together every second, or would Lindsay just slowly pull away from Samantha and remind the world that she had never said she was gay. I don't know how something like that can be good. I know there are people who read the site who are much more qualified to comment on this and I really hope you do.


palealebrew10 said...

Girls do this ALL the time. One of my good friends "came out" to all of us and her family. I'm not sure anyone really believed her because she'd been through her fair share. Six months later, she "un-came" out. It can definitely be an attention thing for girls, trust.

selenakyle said...

I think many people are really bi but for some strange reason don't mind making it known that they're either one persuasion or the other at any given time, but not both.

Or, they could be such arrogant narcissists that they are neither bi nor gay, but rather incredibly insensitive of, and using the hell out of, the other poor person in the relationship.

That's the sad part to me.

Cricket4000 said...

Palealebrew. A lot of my female friends are like that too. Including my sisters and cousins.

But this is really getting out of hand in Hollywood. First you had Anne Heche, then Lindsay, then Jodie Marsh suddenly becoming a lesbian, the Kylie Minogue saying she might go gay if she can't get a guy, then Audrey O'Day saying she is gay. Plus, didn't Ent have a BI about an Actress (who he did not like) trying to find a "girlfriend" for a "lesbian" relationship?

kris said...

I don't think girls do this ALL the time...I'm 43 and in my lifetime, I've know several gay people...none of whome came out then un-came out...they are all still gay.

Tea Lady said...

First off, I think that women's sexuality seems to be more fluid and men's seems to be more hard-wired. Not trying to be sexist, that has just been my experience with people I know/have met. I think people who let others come out for them & never label themselves are partly playing it safe and probably partly not comfortable with their sexuality, whatever it might end up being. What seems more unfortunate to me is that you have people like the three women Enty mentioned who seem to just be giving bisexuals a bad name.

Hervana said...

Oh I totally think there is a very special need for these women who are just gay for a bit of a while. They are really handy for when you have worked your way through all the actual lesbians and when it all goes tits up you don't have to hang out with them any more. Perfect.

Anonymous said...

Aubrey seems the type to be an attention grabber no matter how she get's it. Probably she thinks being gay now will make her more popular and get more movie/show/sitcom deals.

maggiemei said...

@ Tea Lady
First off, I think that women's sexuality seems to be more fluid and men's seems to be more hard-wired.

I beg to differ. Just look at how many 'straight' men are caught in bathroom hookup situations.

I think that both men and women are scattered along the range of the sexuality spectrum. Women are just more comfortable with the homosexual label.

It is more acceptable in our society to have a lesbian relationship than it is to have a gay male relationship. Unfortunately men in homosexual relationships are still seen as less masculine, and therefore undesirable.

Cricket4000 said...

Maybe we should set up Jodie Marsh and Audrey O'Day :) They both seem to love attention.

Cricket4000 said...

I actually studied Psychology and Sexuality at College and did a thesis paper on it. Based on a lot of studies, Women seem to exhibit a bisexual orientation while men tend to be either straight or gay. Check out the work of Dr. Meredith Chivers and Prof. Lisa Diamond. A Northwestern Study also found that women, regardless of their sexual orientation, were aroused by images of women.

Cricket4000 said...

From the NY Times, June 12th 2008

“Women physically don’t seem to differentiate between genders in their sex responses (towards men and women), at least heterosexual women don’t,” she said. “For heterosexual women, gender didn’t matter. They responded to the level of activity.”

Dr. Chivers’s work adds to a growing body of scientific evidence that places female sexuality along a continuum between heterosexuality and homosexuality, rather than as an either-or phenomenon.

“She’s pinpointing what’s kind of obvious, and yet unexplored: that women are so fluid in their sexuality,”

Jazz Hands said...

Wasn't Aubrey O'Day caught making out with Jenna Jameison (sp) a while back? I don't think this is news.

If a girl wants to hook up with another girl every now and then, great. The gossip sites and tabloids are ones running around desperate to bend them over and brand "GAY" on their asses, not the celebs themselves.

Sassy6700 said...

"I beg to differ. Just look at how many 'straight' men are caught in bathroom hookup situations."

Most of those guys tend to be closeted gay men like Larry Craig and Jim McGreevy.

I remember the Tyra Banks Show had an episode a while ago called "Straight Girls who kiss Girls." An internet poll was conducted with 10,000 teen girls and young women and the results were that

a) Half the teen girls said they kissed a girl.
b) 80% of young women kissed a woman.

I am active in the lesbian community and we have seen a huge increase in the number of "straight" girls attending our events. A lot of our lesbian members complain that there are so many straight women using them to satisfy their curiousity and then flash them a wedding ring and tell them "sorry. I'm married."

People like Audrey O'Day and Jodie Marsh are the type of straight women that use lesbians for their own benefit. Its sad but true :(

Anonymous said...

Sassy - but how many of those teen girls were wearing cherry chapstick, and how many of them liked it? (ugh, why do I know that song?)

I'll agree with y'all. Aubrey needs attention, and money. She'll do anything.

nancer said...

there really are people who fall into that gray area between straight and gay. i've known several and their relationships were genuine.

having said that, i think aubrey o-day is just a whore. a whore looking for some publicity.

GladysKravitz said...

Commenting a little late because I just woke up. Yeah, it's a hard life. But I did go to bed at 9. AM. I'm not actually awake, I just have night shift insomnia.

Anyway, I'm with the idea that 1. Women's sexuality is more fluid (no pun) than men's and 2. We are less socially shunned by the gay label. I know that I've been straight and I've been gay, and it's easier socially to be straight, especially if you have a "choice."

As a woman, the difficulty in identifying as a lesbian in this society is one thing; as a man, self identifying as a gay is instant social death in most circles. It's not something men are going to play at being, at least not with social stigma threatening to annihilate them faster than you can say, "Gomer Pyle."

But Enty's right about that "choice" part--it's the big danger in casual coming out of the closet, whether for attention (i.e. 14 year old girls whose sole gay tendency is to want to shock their parents) or a 20 something's desire for the paps to pry themselves off Brangelina and Phoebe Price and snap a few photos of their dwindling celebrity life.

Aubrey is probably just trying to get publicity, and by doing that, she hurts her gay friends' cause because when she inevitably goes back to being straight again, it leaves the impression in people's minds that sexuality is something that can be chosen. For someone like me, that is somewhat true. For someone like many/most of my lesbian and gay friends, that isn't true.

Many lesbians and many gay men (probably a higher percentage because of the pure courage it takes to come out as a gay man in this world--thus the higher number of "full-blooded" gay men than "full-blooded" lesbians) are simply gay. The idea of having sex with a member of the opposite sex makes them queasy, just as it would make a "full blooded" straight person feel to have sex with a person of their own gender. For them, Gay is not a day of play. For them, there is no choice.

So to carelessly "come out" via one's friends and then to skip right back to the safety and privilege of heterosexuality is ultimately a slap to the rights of your gay brothers and sisters. Almost all of the arguments for discrimination against gays imply that we have a choice in our sexuality--i.e. that it can be taught, that it can be unlearned, that it's "catching," that by limiting exposure we can reduce its incidence, etc. It is not a choice for many, many people, just as being black or caucasian is not a choice, or having blue eyes, etc.

If people just treat being gay as a blouse to try on and then take off, there's an implication that all of us can do that, and that's not true. I'm sure Aubrey O'Day has thought all of this through and has given it deep analytical thought, as she always does. Lindsay examined her sexuality through the bottom of a crack pipe, I suspect, and who the hell knows Jodie Marsh's gig? Although I'd believe that any of them are in same sex relationships, I don't believe that any of them feel comfortable living a lesbian lifestyle permanently.

Of all of them, I think Lindsay's is actually the most sincere--she tiptoed out of the closet because she got tired of disowning the person she loved, I think. The rest of them seem to be publicity hounds willing to do what it takes to show up on page 63 of Star this week. The other choices seem a little worse--doing a Winona and shopliftting, going Amy Winehouse and smoking drugs in public, getting Siennaed and screwing random married men.

Just know the people who are gay and can't make other choices are watching you and may force you to watch Rock Hudson and Doris Day movies while listening to cds by Queen, the Indigo Girls, and Usher.

merrick said...

Well said, Gladys, thank you for you stirring point of view. It seems that being "gay" has become the flavor of the day to those whose star is rapidly tarnishing in the bright lights of hollywood.

Kara said...

Don't discount the factor of saying you are gay to attract men. I know, I know. It's stupid. If you love women, you don't want a man. But men can be so arrogant and assume a woman will want him anyway. And if she doesn't? Well, at least he can watch.

I think Aubrey is having people say it so she'll be more 'attractive' to men.

Unknown said...

I agree that Aubrey is using this to get attention.

And women know that guys like that girl-on-girl action; this will actually get her more attention from guys.

There are truly few "out" celebs who are serious about it, such as Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres. AND Portia DeRossi.

Think about it.

It's the party atmosphere of Hollywood and saying and doing meaningless things.

If Aubrey settles down and has a kid with some chick, then I MIGHT take her seriously.

This is the answer to that blind.

Unknown said...

Wow, Kara, we wrote pretty much the same thing at the same time!

Hervana said...

If may just put my two penn'orth in here once again, with regard to the little boxes and niches that seem to be operating here I cant see the point in trying to say once you do one thing once you are that way forever, people go through all sorts of changes.
For eg. Until I was 35 I was pretty much a gold star, bent as a safety pin, "full blooded" (eugh btw), totally lezzy lesbian. Then this South African skinny beautiful Hugh Jackman type bloke turned up and I went for his ten year younger peen - for a few weeks til the smell of horses got too bad. We're still friends but I returned to the fold. It doesn't mean I'm heterosexual, it doesn't mean anything.
So, you know, my point is...people do stuff with people and I have more suspicions about people who never try the home team than people who do then swap back. Anyhow TMI.

PS, my comment earlier - I'd just lost bad at poker and was being a bit cynical, but there's a grain of truth there.

Maddie said...

Aubrey O'Day is just a publicity hungry skank who'll claim she's into goats if it'll get her publicity.

But, I do think that a lot of people are bi or bi curious (both men and women). It's like Lindsay - the media is all over her to "come out," thing is, I doubt she's gay. She's likely bi. When it doesn't work out with Sam, she'll move on to whoever gives her attention whether male/female. So why should she come out only to be called a hypocrite in a year.

Jazz Hands said...

I think I like Hervana.

Katie16 said...

A lot of girls at my school are bi or at least say they are bi. And whenever we have these high school parties, they always make out with one another. The following week, they suddenly become straight when no one is around!

SmokeYourselfThin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SmokeYourselfThin said...


Why would you be suspicious of people who don't "try the home team"? That seems kinda unfair, don't you think? I wouldn't judge anyone because of who they are attracted to, and I know most people wouldn't want to be judged for that reason. I judge people by their actions, not by who they are sexually attracted to.

Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who are exclusively straight without being in denial or deeply closeted, and not all of us are homophobes or judgmental fact, I am extremely supportive of gay rights and gay marriage, just because it's the right thing to do, but I honestly have zero sexual interest in other women. Like I said before, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex, but I'm just not.

If some gay people believe that they are born gay, and some of them are exclusively so, then what makes it so hard to believe that it's the same for some straight people? There may not be a lot of people like me, but we DO exist, and just because some of us are in denial and homophobic assholes doesn't mean that all of us are. Everyone is different, and we should just try and be as accepting of each other as we can, no matter if we're straight, gay or bi.

Katie16 said...

Should we really be surprised by what Aubrey O'Day did? When we consider that one of the biggest songs this year was Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" and now there is a "Double Shot of Love" on MTV? At my school, most straight girls had the song on their IPod or knew the Lyrics to it. I agree with Grace and Kara. I think this is something she did for attention and it has worked because this was covered in the news and we are talking about her!

merrick said...

katie16, you are right, we are just giving in to the hype ... just like the cheetah girl sex tape thingy, when a pseudo star is no longer getting press, make something up, and the media eats it up .. sad really ..

Lisa (not original) said...

Infinite shades of gray... I've had many relationships in my life not all sexual. I never excluded a person based on gender and never shouted my choices from the rooftop. I found my relationships with women to be more emotionally fulfilling and my relationships with men to be more physically satisfying. I think it's all part of the exploration process as we grow. When we find the one who satisfies both physical and emotional sides of us, we tend to stick with that "type" as it were. Have some respect for your partner, though, and don't drag them through a publicity stunt. Not fair to either of you.

Hervana said...

Oh relax SYT, I wasn't having a go at you. I actually know and get on with the straightest straight woman on the planet. Besides, who gives a toss, that's my point.

Hi Sara.

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