Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Writing Your Life Story In Two Days


You remember when Miley Cyrus signed her book deal back in June or July? Yeah, of course you don't because you and I both know that Miley Cyrus has about 2:25 left in her fifteen minutes. So, since she probably knows it as well she grabbed that multi-million dollar book advance to write her autobiography. Now when I say write, I think what we mean is that someone who can actually read and write would be listening to several hours of "OMG's" and "for sures," and try and come up with some kind of meaning to the thoughts that would actually lead to sentences.

Well, according to Miley she managed to "write" her entire autobiography in just a few hours, but isn't sure when it is coming out. "I'm not sure when it's going to come out. It's finished but you've got a long process of editing and all that kind of stuff, so it takes a while." It especially takes awhile when your subject is 15 years old and probably has nothing relevant or important to say that took place more than a year earlier. I understand that book companies are trying to make a buck and I am all for encouraging young people to read, but isn't there a better way? Do we need 15 year olds writing about their life? I will tell you what. I would actually buy her an autobiography if I got to sit with her for about 8 hours and ask the questions I want to ask and I guarantee you it is not going to be what color her walls are painted in her bedroom and why.

Oh, and if you care about the show Hannah Montana, better enjoy this season because it is going to be the last unless Disney ponies up some serious dough to Billy Ray. If you were Disney, would you? Hello Selena Gomez, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out Billy Ray. We'll see you down the road for Celebrity Fit Club or Rehab or something.

16 comments:

canadachick said...

gawd i'm tired of this child.....can we do like we did with britney and ban all mention of her from the site...

lutefisk said...

She looks like she doesn't bother changing her underwear.

Anonymous said...

What publishing company was stupid enough to pay her an advance on her autobiography. What does she have to write about besides playing with her Barbie's and doing MySpace pics so they can be put online for the whole world to see.

CDAN Mod said...

will she turn out to be more of a lindsay or britney?

mooshki said...

IT'S MILEY!!!

Ice Angel said...

Sorry guys...Miley's got it going on...

what is eight past six? said...

I say Lindsay.

Now, I know that typical 15 year olds really DON'T have enough to talk about to fill up a whole book but celebrity kids are not your typical 15 year old. Especially the Disney or Nickelodeon kids. If it was an actual no-holds-barred tell all then I freely admit, I'd be all up in Barnes and Noble to read it in the coffee shop one Saturday while killing time, b/c I have my own theory of what really goes on at Disney/Nick.

But we know that several murders would take place before the execs let such a thing happen. Unless she's about to air some serious dirty laundry she has nothing to talk about and we know that she is not going to be airing any dirty laundry for real until she is truly washed up and her fans are several years removed from the time in their lives when they would have cared. So to this whole book idea I say 'meh.'

Currently staying with a friend who has a six year old has unfortunately exposed me to every kid show worth knowing about, so I can actually say that Wizards of Waverly Place is a tolerable show, more more so than HM if you ask me. Or that chick from iCarly (and the iCarly girl has her own music video already), though I can't currently remember if iCarly is on Disney or Nick.

MontanaMarriott said...

I LOVE HANNAH MONTANA, the show, Miley I could get a crap about! lol

But have to agree with everyone, who is the idiot who greenlit this publishing deal? She is 15, she has not lived long enough to write a biography. A comic book, yeah but not a biography.

jax said...

way to go Billy,not only did you sink your own career for the second time, now you brought your daughter along for the money grabbing ride!

yeehaw!

Wack said...

i love miley.
she is so interesting compared to the other disney stars.

i miss her scandalous days, she needs to be a public ho again.

Anonymous said...

with a new book coming out - guaranteed we'll be getting a new round of self-leaked provocative photos!

KellyLynn said...

Oh, I figured the book itself was going to be a picture book.

I just can't decide if her book will try to emulate Madonna's The English Roses or SEX. She's a bit old for the former, yet too young for the latter.

Sinjin said...

It would be bigger and more interesting if she just made it a COLORING BOOK! Heh!

bionic bunny! said...

oooh-- we got our official invites for the cast and crew ("bolt") this week--- as usual, cameras are banned, but they are NOT confiscating cell phones, even camera phones.
the "event" (ahem) is november 8, so if anything fun happens, i'll try to have pics.
hey, i'm a little people who doesn't get out much.
if anybody else knows of anybody who'll be there, let me know!!

lutefisk said...

bunny--your husband has a much cooler job than mine. I'm jealous.
He only gets Tech invites. :(
Have fun!

bluejeanblues said...

"...let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, Billy Ray/Miley"

I so agree. This prostitot is as done as Pam Anderson, and about as talented. Little Miss Ducklips can't compare with Selena G. , who at least acts publically demure and age-appropriate. I don't let my tween watch Hannah M, and she doesn't like her anyway. Disney, cut your losses and let these money grubbing, arrogant has-beens fade back to Kentucky. Let them discover just how much people do NOT like Ms. Miley and her coat-tail clutching daddy.

Can't stand the gape mouthed she-frog.

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