Friday, January 18, 2019

Four For Friday - Perfume Wars

How come some celebrity brands of perfume succeeded beyond anyone's wildest dreams despite not being sold by a big celebrity, while others crashed and burned despite the backing of an A+ lister? Well, believe it or not, it all comes down to the formula. If it smells like crap, no matter who is selling it, no one will be buying it. The thing is though, that celebrity and his team thinks it smells just fine. They don't know about the little extra that manufacturers know about that drives big sales and not just a pleasant smell.

So, who gets the magic formulas? Well, when the celebrity perfume craze came along there was a rush to get the best formulas. All of a sudden you had these lab geeks being wined and dined by celebrities to let them have the best. Some were just outright purchased with astonishing sums of money. Hello Beyonce. Others though, were acquired the old fashioned way. Perfume casting couch? You bet.

So, who are the biggest?

A list everything in her mind spent a weekend with the decision maker and she got a massively big hit.

Permanent A+ list "singer" was happy to spend a night with a decision maker and she got tens of millions of dollars in return.

This former A list singer/international box office star/cheater on her first husband hooked up with the guy in charge a couple of times and also had a huge hit.

Someone you might not expect. This permanent A list solo singer and in a group.

As a bonus, this former back in the day A+ list reality star hit the casting couch, but apparently didn't give it her best effort so the decision maker didn't give a very good product. 

94 comments:

MDAnderson said...

Jlo, Britney, Jessica Simpson, Beyonc矇 and Paris

sandybrook said...

Nice MD! Although it's not a difficult one at all today. Still first is best.

Natalie Fike said...

Who is the guy? You mention HIS team.

:| raven |: said...

Mariah Carey / JLo / ?? / Beyonce / Paris

Brayson87 said...

Britney's perfume was surprisingly good and popular.

MDAnderson said...

I’m not sure about the Beyonc矇 one because he said she bought it. Please don’t call Gwen Stefani permanent A list

AppleThief4Elliot said...

This is hilarious but surely made up. That said, I want to believe.

Nosy Scotian said...

Jlo for a in her mind. Kim k for the stinky batch. Not sure of others

Thot Crimes said...

Jlo, Rhianna, Sofia Vergara, and ??

yepthatsme said...

Kramer and Ocean perfume! They hijacked his idea and didnt give him any monies!

Dena said...

I like Britney's perfume, too! I don't own it but sometimes I'll use a little spritz when I'm at Target.

sandybrook said...

Could be Gwennie, he's has been calling her permanent A list lately, as well as Katy Perry. Did she have a fragrance?

Akbar Johnson said...

Mariah
Jlo
Cher
Gwen Stefani
Paris Hilton

Unknown said...

Jitterbug Perfume was a fucking weird book but at least you could read it. Unlike Infinite Jest which was 500 pages of regurgitated word vomit

Brayson87 said...

Yes, Curious was the one:
"Curious is a women's fragrance by Britney Spears for Elizabeth Arden, and is the first perfume to be endorsed by Britney Spears, preceding "Fantasy." Spears reportedly earned $52 million from the endorsement.[1] "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curious_(fragrance)

Brayson87 said...

Wait a sec, Enty, are you throwing shade with "singer" ? ;)

Nosy Scotian said...

I've been lurking for over a year. I found the site through the DM. I certainly enjoy the guesses and the personalities of the regulars ..thanks!

Guesser said...

Yes, Enty has called Gwen Stefano permanent A list solo and in a group. Go figure.

Humor Me said...

Gwen Stefani for the Solo/ Group singer

paris hilton or kimmie k for the bad batch

Rhianna or Britney for the "singer"

Moose said...

The one you wouldn't expect - Timberlake?

Guesser said...

Wait,where does Mariah fit?

Brayson87 said...

Is Enty insinuating that the industry uses pheromones or some other chemicals in the big sellers?
"They don't know about the little extra that manufacturers know about that drives big sales and not just a pleasant smell."

420 Friendly said...

Stinky batch or stinky snatch?��

kfitz said...

britney spears curious was and will always be the shit lol

Moose said...

@Unknown - "Jitterbug Perfume" was right up there in the Tom Robbins Parthenon of books. He had that hot streak in the 70s-80s which ran from "Cowgirls" to "Skinny Legs and All", and Jitterbug is (mostly) right up there with the best. Beets as the secret base note. Brilliant.

I finished "Infinite Jest" after 6 years and about 12 varied attempts. I often wonder what DFW would have done lit wise if he hadn't killed himself. "Consider The Lobster" is maddening brilliant, and I wonder if he could have tighten up his writing just a bit to allow for a more readable, yet nonetheless critically appealing, novel.

Guesser said...

@Moose,I thought the intentional typo meant a guy was one, good guess!@Brayson87, they do,and making high end perfume is very complex. The imitation scents smell nearly identical, but miss the "extras".

J said...

Thinking of them makes me want to spray Raid, not perfume.

Huckleberry said...

So I need to learn to make perfume, got it. I'll get right on that. I'll be running around shilling it like Tom Haverford on Parks and Rec before I get my big celeb/whore pitch woman.

lala said...

Have to agree, britney's were really good. Especially fantasy,imo.

:| raven |: said...

why does everyone bash on Britney as a "singer" ? i've heard her sing acapella and she's good. despite her mental break, she seems to be one of the hardest working people in the entertainment business. i think she's grown a lot.

unless i am completely in an alternative universe and have no idea what i am talking about.

wasn't JLo outed as the one who had someone singing for her Milli Vanilli style? you know the whole MK thing, I think it was. who was paying someone for years to do the vocals, even on live performances? 13 letters in first and last name ... Jennifer Lopez ....

OB said...

Permanent A list solo singer and in a group is Diana Ross, who has a scent called "Diamond Diana"

Troy Dyer said...

I had exactly this. Great job!

mooshki said...

@ :| raven |: She has a sweet voice, but it's not strong. She has major backup vocals on all her records.

Emily said...

Britney is second only behind Liz is sales of celebrity fragrances. Her perfumes continue to be MASSIVELY popular. Interestingly, both Ms. Taylor and Ms. Spears had/have much more input and say in what is released with their name on it.

Aquagirl said...

Bullshit Blind. That is not how the fragrance industry works at all.

Little-known fact: there are more astronauts than perfumists in the world.

Jon said...

This

Roxanne said...

J-Lo, the original,was/is a fab fragrance, Britney has had several that were very popular and massive sellers because they smell so great! Paris' =YUCK!

parissucksliterally said...

I don't know why anyone buys any of these people's fragrances.

Gina Bina said...

wow even for perfume you have to hit the casting couch? damn these celebs have to sleep with people for everything!

Urban Rosebud said...

See the movie "Perfume" with the super hot Ben Whitshaw" (sic). It will explain everything they know & we do not.

Urban Rosebud said...

+1 for J-Lo's Glow.

Unknown said...

I wouldn't be stupid enough to buy some bottke, just because it says Lopez or Simpson on it.
Get a life ladies. Seriously.
Even half a life, will do.

Brayson87 said...

Oh FFS intellectuals, they have testers, women can test the scents ahead of time and decide whether they like it and if it's worth the price. The shocker with Britney was a lot of people didn't like her but her perfume was actually great.

Brayson87 said...

Let's not even get into athlete endorsements and freakin' tennis shoes, at least women aren't shooting each other over perfume.

Indy Picker said...

I love Jessica Simpson's "Fancy".

CinnyToast said...

@Nosy- same here. 6 year lurker and really like the regulars. Even the bad ones!

Gatorgirl said...

When they call Brit a "singer" it's not because she can't but she won't, and her Vegas concerts are lip synched is what I think they mean, and right about JL being MV

Gatorgirl said...

I liked Paris Heiress

Kate K said...

不不不不不

LooksLikeCRicci said...

I own both Glow by J.Lo and Curious by Britney Spears. Love them both. Both smell great.

Someone, as a joke, gave me a sample bottle of one of Kim K.'s perfumes and I threw it away. Smelled just like I imagine her to-- cheap and whorish.

Tink said...

COTY INC.

Brayson87 said...

Welcome to the party Nosy & Cinny! :)

Keepin It Very Real said...

This blind is a crock O shitake.

There is no secret formula to "this fragrence will be a winner" and "this fragrance will be a loser". If there was any magic formula, they wouldn't be choosing their spokesperson on the basis of a roll in the hay. There's a huge amount of money to be made in fragrance.

But the reality is no one has the magic nose and the magic formulation. Some fragrances sell, some don't.

The idea that there's a guy who has sure winners and sure losers and that he doles them out on the basis of sex is ridiculous.

Now, the idea that you might be able to convince the money man to put your name on a fragrance with sex? Sure, no question.

Freebird said...

All I have to say is

Marc Jabobs, Decadence

*swoon*

Yeah, I know...doesn’t fit the blind. But, it’s the best fragrance out there!

Guesser said...

The sex part is probably the heads of the company,for example,Coty, or Estee Lauter, but it's funnier to imagine stars with lab geeks.

Bec said...

B.S.

This blind feels off to me in so many ways... fragrance companies WANT celebs to sell their fragrances - this isn't like a celeb 'begs' for something. Want to know how this process works most of the time? Check out this post by Scentbound, on the creation of a celeb fragrance, then come back and decide if you think this is a legit story... or somebody blowing smoke... http://scentbound.co/the-making-of-a-celebrity-fragrance/

And for the record, SJP is an actual scent afficionado and was deeply involved in the creation of her perfumes, and I think it really shows. Chandler Burr's "A Perfect Scent" explores the process of making her first fragrance.

Kimberley said...

Bec, thank you for mentioning SJP. I have her perfume 'Lovely' and it's great, I love it. It is very very popular still. On the other hand, someone here mentioned Liz Taylor - I smelt her perfume - was it 'White Diamonds' or 'Pleasures'? anyway, vile stuff, really heavy. It may have come out in the 80s/90s though when heavy musky perfumes like 'Opium' and 'Poison' sold well.

HeatherBee said...

I give this blind 5 stars! We’ve got hookers, singers, hooker “singers”, perfumists, astronauts, sneakers and shooters. Very action packed- great job, everyone!

Thot Crimes said...

@Bec - We know SJP wasn't deeply involved in creating her perfumes, because otherwise they would smell like apple slices, carrots, and hay cubes.

MichiganMama59 said...

Not one of them, or them put together, have one micron of class as Elizabeth Taylor.

astra worthington said...

I own two of them. Prerogative and Curious. They both smell amazing! The Paris Hilton ones smelled ok, but I wouldn’t buy her stuff. Hopefully Britney can retire soon, and my $$ will help, lol.

astra worthington said...

It smells SO GOOD. I love it, one of the best smelling perfumes, at a reasonable price.

astra worthington said...

I felt that way til I smelled Curious. I loved it, it’s not expensive and so I bought it. Then I smelled Prerogative and bought it too. Mostly because it’s cheap and smells good. My favorite perfume of all time was discontinued so I had to replace it with something (La Occitane Magnolia) and I love the price!

astra worthington said...

Me neither but I loved Curious so I got it. I didn’t care about the name. I’m super anti celeb and will go out of my way usually to NOT give them money, but this smelled so good and I feel so bad for poor Brit Brit that I don’t mind.

astra worthington said...

Is that who makes Vanilla Fields? My dad bought me the lotion when I was in high school, it had a little bit of gold glitter in it and it smelled so amazing. I looked for it the last time I was at Walmart but they didn’t have it so I wonder if they even make it any more. Hmm now I’m gonna look online

astra worthington said...

I LOVE Opium so much. But it’s so expensive! White Diamonds is the stinkiest stuff ever.

Gator said...

Paris has about 10 different perfumes out.

HiThere said...

Enty flat out says Beyonc矇 was one who bought the magic formula.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

BEETS? Really?

Those things may look pretty, but they taste VILE so I can’t imagine beets as a “secret” base note—and God knows those juice bars always try to make everything palatable.

I mean considering our sense of smell plays such a huge role in how things taste and beet tastes awful: http://www.ecologydomain.com/featured/apples-potatoes-and-onions-taste-same

Scandi Sanskrit said...

But beets?!

MDAnderson said...

@hithere I flat out say that in my next comment. Love your guesses for this blind and other blinds though!!

Aris said...

Paris Hilton has 25 perfumes.

Paul Saint John said...

Enty, if there are other easy commercial ventures with a casting couch, please give us needy readers some tips. It's hard to make a buck these days!

scurfie said...

Usher and his cologne is so good I bought it.

Layla said...

Back when I wore perfume I would wear Paris's and always got a ton of compliments. Everyone was always shocked to hear it was hers because it was actually good. The rest of the celebrity stuff is garbage. Although I think one of Britney's smelled like cotton candy, which started a trend.

AkhaldanSolo said...

I agree "Perfume" the film with Dustin Hoffman (paganjew caananite) was good. It gave an interesting insight to what grew into a multiBILLION dollar industry that had it's genesis in the occult elite caste class of the Egyptians and which grew up alongside occult alchemy. It fits in quite well with the fashion industry that caters to the vain and narcissistic urges of the elite, rich and famous in their pursuit of the Fountain of Youth.

The pagan cult that wants to make multiple god and goddess worship, licentiousness and all forms of "evil" commonplace in this world slowly and subtly reveal the signs and symbols that they have immersed you all into as a sort of "indoctrination" into their cult. (Ex sigil magick is all around you from car logos to fast food logos, on the dollar bill etc etc).

These "gods and goddesses" that these cultist pagans worship also require human beings to immolate and degrade themselves in their presence, and that means indulging and participating in everything that is PROFANE, meaning every sexually disgusting practice IMAGINABLE including BLOOD, SEMEN, EFFLUVIA, FECES and SALIVA. Part of their 'art' is studying these substances inside their respective cavities and is referred to as PIZZA (PIZZAGATE) Their aim is to also make you a CANNIBAL and to get you to put human DNA past your lips. MCDonalds may have already poisoned the entire population in that aspect but there are others trying to do it to you too, well, in spirit and metaphor anyway...

Lady Gaga's perfume Fame was "based on the molecular structure of the blood and semen, it would not smell of them. She further explained that the blood element was based on a sample her own blood molecules to create "a sense of having me on your skin".[8] Rather than blood and semen, she said that the perfume would smell like an "expensive hooker".[8]

The formula is also very similar to a witches potion...

The packaging lists the perfume's notes as "tears of BELLADONNA, crushed heart of tiger orchidea with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot and the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops"

The singer's Haus Laboratories label in association with Coty, Inc. developed the scent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Gaga_Fame

I'll bet Gaga had to do a little more than just putting out for these guys to develop this scent.

CinnyToast said...

@Akhaldan And you really believe that? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but really? This is so far reaching, even for a conspiracy theory.

trufflepig said...

I highly recommend reading the book by Patrick S羹skind, althought I'm not sure if there's a good English translation out there. It's one of those books that I imagine must be incredibly difficult to translate.

The movie was ... okay, I think. Don't really remember much about it. The book, however, (at least the original German version) is hilarious in a wicked, absurd kind of way.

AkhaldanSolo said...

IDK what you're complaining about the crux of my comment was pretty clear and well documented there is no conspiracy it's a fact that Lady Gaga developed a perfume with synthetic BLOOD and SEMEN in with a well known hallucinogenic wiccan poison called Belladonna in it. Pure fact. The wikipedia link is right there.

Is the McDonalds comment a "conspiracy theory"? Yes, and no. McDonalds (and the beef and chicked industry) employees have lost limb, finger and blood in product. Human DNA DOES get in the food supply. Intentionally is another matter an is still "conspiracy theory".

Well, the rest is, unfortunately, disgustingly also very fucking true as well, to get into specific detail would spin your mind so hard you would want to bleach your eyes out. There is no way I could prove it to you unless you have read the work of early 20th century luciferian and british witch Aleister Crowley who has MUCH more influence in the modern world and in Hollywood none of you could possibly imagine. Sammy Davis Jr, Jack Parsons of Jet Propulsion laboritory and L.Ron Hubbard of Scientology, Jimmy Page, both Mansons, Rubin.... all Crowleyites. These sexual practices get VERY VERY disgusting and graphic to the point there's no way you could describe them and the reason for them because you dumbasses just wouldn't understand.


Believe what the fuck you wanna believe this shit is crazy ass world and shit's about to get full tilt.

AppleThief4Elliot said...

there is no conspiracy it's a fact that Lady Gaga developed a perfume with synthetic BLOOD and SEMEN in with a well known hallucinogenic wiccan poison called Belladonna in it. Pure fact. The wikipedia link is right there.

Lol. It's like you've never heard of marketing.

AkhaldanSolo said...

Jessica Simpson Parlux Fragrances

Britney Spears Elizabeth Arden

Jennifer Lopez (Sweetface) Lancaster Group (a division of Coty, Inc.)

Madonna Coty, Inc.

Mariah Carey Elizabeth Arden

Gwen Stefani Coty Inc.

plot said...

So all the elite testers and chemists for the perfume industry are male, and vulnerable to celeb sex?

That's the leap that proves this BI is bullshit.

CarolMR said...

I have one of Britney's perfumes and it's the only one that doesn't give me a headache.

Thot Crimes said...

Fkn Beets

Scandi Sanskrit said...

OMG I was thinking of that Patrick S羹skind book the whole time I read this blind item. LOL.

I don’t remember the Indonesian translation being “hilarious” or “absurd”, just very dark and very wicked. But then again I was young when I read the book and couldn’t catch the nuances.

For some reason, in my head the original author was French instead of German? But of course it came from the people who gave us Schadenfreude... 不

Scandi Sanskrit said...

I only know Belladonna from one of the Sherlock Holmes stories. IIRC Holmes dropped some in his eyes to make him look sick or something. Eh.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

FUCK BEETS MAN

Paul Saint John said...

@AppleThief4Elliot

If it's marketing only, don't you think it would be self-defeating as marketing? Nobody wants to hear what kind of crap goes into making perfumes, unless the witchy satanic aspect had an appeal to start with for some twisted consumers. Witchcraft obviously does not work ( not physically or chemically, only psychologically) but that there are people who believe in this stuff is a cause of legitimate concern.

Travelgrrl said...

To read not one, but TWO posters' comments on Tom Robbins's "Jitterbug Perfume" made my day! It's been awhile since I re-read it, but it contains ancient rituals, a long lived man, New Orleans, Pan, the perfume industry, Mardi Gras, and much, much about beets.

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Bec said...

@Kimberley - re, White Diamonds ... came out in 1991, and remained the #1 celeb fragrance for the next 20 years. (J. Lo's original "Glow" fragrance - a soft, clean-musk scent, now owns the top spot) You're right that at the time, Poison, Opium, Obsession etc. and other orientals dominated the market. Less 'aggressive' versions are coming back to the market as we speak, capitalizing on 80's nostalgia, I suppose.





Bec said...

@Scandi Sanskrit, re: beets in perfumery... Historically, materials such as ambergris (imagine if a whale coughed up an oceanic hair ball) and castoreum (goop sprayed by beavers to mark their territory) or bio-equivalent lab-created versions have been used in perfumes to give them more complexity and 'body'. Beets could be being used the same way. You won't sniff it and say "ah, beets!" - it will be buried in the blend and used to give weight to the formula.

If you want to test this out, smell a commercial jasmine in a body lotion or candle - light and almost sweet - and go to a niche perfume shop or higher-end dept store and ask to smell a scent with what's referred to as 'dirty jasmine'. It is closer to the real flower, which actually has a slightly sour, acrid note that makes it smell sexy instead of sweet.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Thanks, Bec! Fascinating stuff.

Being Javanese, I am familiar with the scent of natural jasmine.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

I think I know what you’re talking about with the “less aggressive” versions of ‘80s perfumes.

Is Coco Mademoiselle one of them? That’s probably the most “grown-up”-smelling perfume I own that doesn’t smell like candy. LOL.

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