Thursday, November 08, 2007

Kim Kardashian Needs Her Mouth Washed Out


Did you ever wonder what you would say to someone when you found out they released a sex tape of you to the world? Well wonder no longer. Here is a voice mail from Kim Kardashian to Ray-J immediately after hearing the news. The language is definitely NSFW so do the Old School thing and cover the ears of your kids and boss. Do listen though, because it is priceless.

39 comments:

Trix said...

I wonder if this is real or staged.

Trix said...

Note: you only have to listen to this girl for about ten seconds before you figure out that she's as dumb as a rock. The inflection in her voice and where she chooses to place the peak of her voice in a sentence, is sooooooo annoying.


Whats with the screaming at the end?

Twisted Sister said...

Triiixxxx???? Whaaaat do you meeeeeaaannnnn?????? Maybe she's just maaaad about that diiissssgussting human beeeeeing??

The scream at the end was the sound of a five year old after someone grabbed her lolipop away from her.

Cali Girl said...

I can't believe she held it together for as long as she did. Listening to the first 90 seconds of it, she just doesn't sound that upset - he's just a dissssgussting human beeeeeeing. When she loses it at the end and starts shrieking is priceless.

Trix said...

I seriously have never heard anyone that vacant and empty headed. She speaks as fast as most 3 year olds with Down Syndrome.

I seriously thought that scream was one of her little sisters barging in or something, I had to go back and listen again...its funny how she goes from talking so laid back and slow it sounds like she smoked a few blunts, and then BOOM suddenly she's shrieking like a zombiefied banshee. Zero to Psycho in a nanosecond...

Irishstayc said...

haha Zero to Psycho in a nanosecond... great one Trix.

And i agree with all - what is up with the mellowness then Bam the scream. I actually jumped and thought she got into a car accident at first...

Of course now that she's so well known because of the tape i'll bet she's singing... or shrieking a different tune.

Sarah said...

God, I hate uptalkers. Where did this trend come from? It makes ANYONE sound like an idiot.

Moosefan said...

Seriously-and she wants to be "taken seriously by Hollywood" what a joke...How long till yall think she will be on the stoll or on the pole? I am willing to put a wager.....

Twisted Sister said...

Didn't it come from valley girls in CA? Whenever someone talks like that I ask, "Do you have a question?" They give me a no with that deer caught in the headlights look and I say, "Why does your voice keep going up at that end of every sentence?" And at that point they usually say, "I'm not sure what you're talking about?" I wish smacking people was legal.

GammaGirl said...

DUDE that SCREAM at the end was PRICELESS!
Kim might be dumb but she is smarter than Paris...I think.

oh, and don't ever call me again!

jax said...

"Like omg you like totally fucked me then like taped it and we watched it like omg a million times then you had the like odd-odd-ooshit the NERVE to release it as a omg like a porno? Like lose my number totally ok, becasue you're like so pathetic..omg"

(background "Kim Playboy just called")

"Shrrrrrrieeeeeeeek"
click.

Trix said...

"I actually jumped and thought she got into a car accident at first..."

Ha ha no shit! I think my subconscious did expect a little *crunch* *smash* *sound of shattering glass* *sound of kims boobs and ass deflating as they're pierced with shards from the windshield* after that one.

Trix said...

And come on, who gets mad about a sex tape and says "dont call me ever again" a million times--then adds the little "lawyer" bit at the end almost as an afterthought.

An intelligent woman, calls up and says, "Im putting your balls on the barbeque sweetie, this is the last time you hear my voice, cause from here on out, the only communication we will be having is between our lawyers. Fuck you." *click*

I'd be pulling the "lawyer" card and mentioning that inbetween fuck yous and go to hells. Especially if my daddy was a lawyer, like hers...

jax said...

Fuck the phone Trix..he'd get a live show from my crazy ass.

It would play out something close to Seven with a Gloria Steinem reading playing in the background.

Twisted Sister said...

Her father is a lawyer?? Or are you confused and think that the late Robert Kardashian is her father? Because I thought that, too, until I looked it up. Whoever he is, he must be so proud.

Love the "I hate you" at the end of the shriek.

Trix said...

The late Robert Kardashian IS her father. Its been reported as such in the media many times, and is on her wikipedia, backsources to Access Hollywood.

Kristen S. said...

I was just gonna say...trix beat me to it. I believe she also explained it in some interview promo'ing her crapass unreality show.

Trix said...

From HIS wiki:

He is the father of three daughters, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, and Khloe Kardashian and one son, Robert Jr., with ex-wife Kris Jenner. In October, 2007 a reality television show featuring his children and ex-wife, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, debuted on the E! Television Network.

Trix said...

If you read his wiki, its kinda crazy. Basically, her dad could have covered up shit for O.J.

She's evil incarnate! LOL

ehinckle02 said...

Kim's father was one of O.J's lawyers and he passed away. He is probably spinning in his grave!

Trix said...

Jax: I feel you on the whole "live appearance" thing. Its just not telling someone off for releasing your private sex tape, unless you bring in a baseball bat and some damage to private property. But thats just me :) (I kid of course, I'd never be that crazy...but seriously, if I'm gonna tell someone off, I need to at least get my spit flying in their face as Im hollerin' at 'em, instead of on my cell phone)

Twisted Sister said...

Wow, I must have been on crack that day because I always use imdb, and it does state she's his daughter. Sorry kids!

Well, what do we expect from someone whose father was good friends with a murderer? And yeah, Trix, I'm sure he did cover up a lot with regard to OJ.

The tart apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Twisted Sister said...

Trix said:
"but seriously, if I'm gonna tell someone off, I need to at least get my spit flying in their face as Im hollerin' at 'em, instead of on my cell phone)"


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

Reese said...

Obscenities aside, this girl seriously needs to expand her vocabulary. I think she knows about three non-vulgar descriptive adjectives. Jessica Simpson sounds like William Safire compared with Kim.

Trix said...

Maybe EL's next charity endeavor could be raising the dough to send her a dictionary. We'll call it the "Cant Turn A Ho Into A Housewife" Project.

Reese said...

Trix:

To quote Dorothy Parker, you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.

I think a dictionary would be too mentally taxing for Kim; she would have to read and have some raw understanding of spelling. Way beyond her abilities.

__-__=__ said...

Yet somehow she is socially acceptable. Amazing!

Trix said...

Reese, you're right, a dictionary wont do much to put a thought into that little head of hers.

Twisted Sister said...

Maybe it would. Will it have pictures of naked people?

_-_, doesn't that make you wonder, if not ill? Why skanks are popular among anyone except guys who want to bang them is beyond me.

Trix said...

See, this is where the E channel is part of the problem. She was just Parisite's friend before, but now she has a show, which gives her tons of press and has officially legitimized her. The more press she gets, the more people will think she's relevant, which means more press, which means more work, which means more exposure...

Do they really think we're going to tolerate another STD ridden tabloid queen now that no one cares about Paris?

Twisted Sister said...

You're right, but it's not just E!. There are a couple of other networks that are guilty of showing nothing but dysfunctional train wrecks, too. And they must be getting the ratings because they're not going away.

I wish the networks, magazines and gossip sites would put a moratorium on anything to do with that whole group of toxic waste.

Trix said...

You're right, its VH-1 and MTV, too, with their tendency to put anything and everything on the air, barely even bothering to find a reason to, first. The concepts skate on such thin ice, they're starting to look a little blue...

GammaGirl said...

I agree that Kim K is on her way to becoming just as bad as Paris. As entertaining as that show is (the sisters are OUT OF CONTROL and the Mom is a total drunk), it just perpetuates the cycle of people famous for being famous.

I still can't believe they are doing a White Oprah Reality show.

Tracee said...

Gawd she didn't sound angry at all! But then when she screamed I got flashbacks of Paris crying in the back of the squad car.

Now I can see how they're friends. And for a guy to put out a sex tape why didn't she say he's a lousy lay and that he has no fucking clue where a woman's clit is? Why just low human being. Damn that 1:30 would've been FILLED with insults, all varied, if it was me.

But ya'll are right, bitch is stoopid.

Twisted Sister said...

Yeah, it was kind of too late to claim he was hung like a poodle.

Judi said...

Bobby was cool. There was some speculation that he was responsible for dumping a bag with OJ's clothes, but the DNA evidence at trial convinced him OJ was guilty. He ended his relationship/friendship with OJ after the trial, leading me to believe that he didn't dump anything. Thanks, Sarah - I didn't know it was called uptalking. It's all over the place and I HATE it. Makes people sound like nasally morons.

Harriet Hellfire said...

Has any of you seen the tape? It's, like, the most boring porn ever. All she is saying throughout the whole thing is "shit baby...oh my god...shit".

Yes I watched the whole thing, so what? *L*

Handsatlanta said...

from Sarah...

I hate uptalkers. Where did this trend come from?

I learned it in band camp.

Mike said...

90 seconds.

1 "shit"
3 "fucking"

Wash your mouth out?

This dude released a private sex tape of them and she was calling him to talk about it.

How calm would you be?