Friday, May 23, 2008

Your Baby Is Alive After Six Months. You Deserve An Award


Obviously the people over at Babytalk magazine have learned a few things about publicity. Following in the steps of the group that gave Dina Lohan an award for parenting, Babytalk has decided to bestow their highest award, the Golden Pacifier to Nicole Richie. The reason for the award is simple. Having managed to keep her baby alive for the first six months is reason enough when you want paps swarming the event and having blogs and tabloids publishing your name.

The fact that Nicole has admitted to not changing any diapers in the first six months is apparently a positive. The fact that she managed to get her boyfriend, nanny, and various helpers do all the work just is a sign of good parenting. I didn't actually see that part in the press release, but, I'm sure it must have been included in a draft somewhere.

The magazine was also in awe at how she manages to go out every other night and still has not forgotten the name of her daughter. Harlow. Yes, that's it. She remembers it because it rhymes with car towed which is what happened after the cops arrested her for driving on the wrong side of the freeway.

Congratulations Nicole on your outstanding achievements. I'm sure mothers everywhere around the world are applauding your parenting skills and wish they had the skills you do. No, they do. They wish they didn't have to work the two jobs because their ex walked out. When he pays child support it still isn't enough to even cover the cost of daycare, but mom doesn't complain because she is doing what is best for her children. The moms of the world admire how you are such a good mom that you don't even have to worry about finding the time to cook for your kids, clean for them, play with them, read to them, all while trying to find 5 hours of sleep and someone to fix that pinging sound in your 10 year old car.

So again, Congratulations Nicole. You must be very proud to be recognized as the mom of the year.

24 comments:

Big Sur Expedition 2008! said...

Um, do you know her personally? How do you know she's such a crappy mother? And lot's of people have nannies, they're called grandmas and for the first couple of years they help out quite a bit. Jaysus.

adrian said...

now why is she still famous?

captivagrl said...

harlow - car towed is funny. not one diaper in 6 months? really?

shiny_special_one said...

Ugh. She makes me sick.

jax said...

anyone willing to offer up the information that they havent ever changed her kid's diaper and is proud of it is deserving of everything we have to throw at her.

something tells me that it was joel who wanted to keep the baby....and she just wanted to keep joel.

klown said...

Wow, venting there EL?

Seriously though - it does look like she cleaned up her shit pretty well.

Also, though we don't have nanny, I didn't change a diaper for months after our child was born. Works this way for most people I know. Since you don't have kids, you probably wouldn't understand Ent, but now of days when they are newborns and are exclusivley breast fed, there is little else beyond changing the nappys that the father can participate in while they are infants. So my child's father changed all of his diapers and gave him all of his baths for the first few months....so does this make me a bad mother or does it make him a good father?

Not getting the vicious post Ent put up on this one.

Christine said...

How can you have a kid and not change a SINGLE diaper in 6 months??

jax said...

exactly.

yeahwhatever said...

I have three kids and find it VERY bizarre...and telling, that a "mother" didn't manage to change a single diaper in 6 months. Um, yeah, "Mom of the Year" for sure.

Klown - newborn babies go through MANY diaper changes in the first few months. PARTICULARLY breastfed babies. So, yeah, it's great your hubby is involved but I have never in 11 years of parenting met a mother who "never" changed a diaper for months. Involved father, nanny, or whatever the family's , aside. Ent is NOT off the mark here. Get real!

adrian said...

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to change your child's diaper.
My son was a preemie, & I was dying to have him released so I could take care of him. And the bandages after the circumcision, again, not pretty, but I did it. Why would you want a nanny doing a mother's privilige?
I think when people view the photo spreads of newborns, ie: Jennifer Lopez, Xtina, etc, they lose touch with baby reality. Changing diapers is believe it or not, part of parenting.

captivagrl said...

adrian - i'm with you! cleaning, feeding, grooming, etc...all part of parenting. theses activities promote a special bond that a child should share with parents. having outside help is fine, but parenting by the parents is ideal. if you feel it's a chore beneath you, don't have children. try to adopt a child after you tell the interviewer that you have no intention on changing your infant's diaper.

califblondy said...

Jax, pass the hat for the hooker. EL seems to be in a really pissy mood again. I think I've got some pesos at the bottom of my purse.

sheetrock said...

She'll lose her award once the baby can walk. Babies are easy to keep alive when they can't go anywhere.

Queen MReneeD said...

Silly Klown!! not everyone has an uemployed submissive for a daddy/hubby. you go MissDominatrix! curious though, who changes the daddies diapers?
hhmmm

Grace said...

Nicole isn't "one of us." She lives in that elite world just like JLo where changing diapers is done by the help.

Look at Cindy Crawford -- her advise is to hire a night nurse -- that way you don't lose a wink of sleep.

jax said...

calif- i would but im rather enjoying it.

Cooper's Mom said...

seriously, how can you, as the mother, NOT change a nappy (sorry im english!) in 6 months? that's insane! i dont get these people who have kids and then completely palm them off to other people to take care of while they return to their pre-baby ways... er, why have kids in the first place? oh, i forgot, kids are IN this season!!!

adrian said...

last year people carried around little dogs as an accessory, this year babies. I can't wait for next year's trend.

audieh_1 said...

I'm waiting for Nicky Hilton, or Louis Vuitton--or Coach to design a special kid bag...one that you put the baby in and carry it around like the dog...but you know bigger cause babies tend to grow bigger than chihuahuas and miniature whatevers.

And seriously--not one diaper Klown? Doesn't your man ever go to work or out or to sleep?

gossiphound said...

Klown, you must be one of those women who lie in bed to feed the baby and talk about how many times the baby eats. Ol Dad gets the guilt trip and does anything you want him too. Does anyone work at your house? Who BUYS the diapers?

Amy said...

actually the baby is only about 4 1/2 months ( I only know b/c that is a week younger than my nieces ). So wasn't Joel gone on tour for a month? What did she do then? I've read where she said they don't have a nanny, they have the babies grandmas. Hmm. That is sad if she really is so hands off.

Monalicious said...

I've raised three boys from birth, and guess what? Diapers are a part of life!!! One of my funniest memeries is my Grandma, changing my oldest baby's diaper for the first time. He got her good!!! Right in the eyes! But, who could get mad at a newborn?
I didn't think a woman would want to call herself a Mom and NOT do diapers and basic stuff!

Amber said...

I laughed at the title hehe

MonkeyHelperL said...

Maybe it's because I'd sooner wear a beard of bees than become a parent or maybe it's because I'm not struggling to raise any expensive belly fruit but honestly, I don't see a thing in the world wrong with *GASP* not wanting to change your baby's diaper. Now, if she'd hit the baby, shaken it, locked it in a closet and forgotten about it, or left it sitting in a dirty diaper for hours until someone else changed it then I'd totally understand the hostility but it just looks to me like someone figured out a way around one of the "crappy" (HA!) parts of parenting and that bugs other people for some odd reason. I'm just not seeing the big deal here.