Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Yesterday A Cocker Spaniel - Tomorrow A Scientology School

That didn't take long. Yesterday I told you about the story that was published making out Will Smith to be a daring hero who rescues dogs and provides wisdom to growing boys. Well today, he has taken the wisdom thing just a bit further. According to the National Enquirer, Will Smith is funding a new school in Calabasas. As in where Nick and Jessica used to call home.

The school is called New Village Academy. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of celebrities want to leave their marks on the world, and a school is a good place. Well, when you click on the website, click on the curriculum tab and start looking at the language they use. I'm going to whisper now. Scientology. Shhhh. Here's an excerpt I found which describes what happens when kids don't do well.

This is a process they call Quals.

Our Qualifications teacher works in unison with the teachers to help them so that all children are learning, progressing toward their goals, and happy in school.

Upon completion of a subject chapter such as in math, the teacher sends the student to “Qual”, where he/she is given an test in various forms. If the student scores anything less than 100%, the Qualifications teacher will sit down with the student and go over the part of the exam that was not fully understood and make sure the student understands all of the words and concepts in the chapter. The teacher will also make sure the student did not skip any concepts which would inhibit learning. This is done to help students so that they gain 100% certainty.

If a student is having difficulty in class in a particular subject, the teacher may send the child to Qual for assistance in finding out why the student is not progressing. Qual staff will intensively work with the student to determine what is going on and work with them one-on-one until they have grasped the subject matter and are ready to move on.

Last, Qual is also used to make sure that each student is on target in his/her individual school program. Qual keeps track of each student’s entire program and makes sure that he/she is moving at a smooth and comfortable pace.

They then hook him up to an e-meter and ask him if he has ever had fantasies of killing his parents. Just go through the school's website. They also offer "Study Technology" and ethics & survival. Did you just hear that? It's Jada cackling. I swear I heard it.


jax said...

they just need Will's ears to tune in Xenu on windy days.

littleoleme said...

I don't know why he keeps denying the Scientology thing. His beard/wife has been home schooling their kids in Scientology for a few years now.

Burgundee said...

Reads like a Leah Remini email.

what is eight past six? said...

The thing that tipped me off was not the "qualifications/qual" talk (well, not just that) but the fact that if you don't score ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. So if you have a 50 question test and you miss one single question, you still have to go to the qual teacher and "review" what you missed.

No regular school is going to do that. No college or university is going to do that. Even solid-A students aren't solid 100 students. WTF?

On one hand I understand why Will is still denying he is a scientologist because the COS has a terrible image right now. Hell, they're still trying to repair Tommy Boy's image. I'm just wondering how the COS is cool with being denied publicly.

My guess is that they want to a) get Tom's image back to par so he isn't tainting their image and b) build Will up to be the second coming of [insert saint of choice here], and that way when he finally does announce he's joined the COS everyone will think, "Oh, well it must not be so bad then, because Will is awesome! Why, he just ran into a burning building and rescued 100 Hurricane Katrina victims last week!"

kellygirl said...

boy! first Denise Richards and now a Sci school -- Calabasas is going downhill fast

janele said...

I also read that you can't yawn in class. Yawning = you forgot to look up a friggin' word in a friggin' (Scientology-approved) dictionary. You're never allowed to go past a word that you don't understand.


And still Scientologists can't debate or spell or hold a coherent thought.

Moosefan said...

nooooooo! What the frickity frick is happening??!! Does the dark side have better cookies? Or is it a join us and get a free toaster, car, mister/mistress incentive on right now? Do those fools over at the dark side not know that Independence Day was just a movie?

Dead Angel said...

Jada maybe cackling, but her son can't read. I bet this costs a fortune and all it is in an indoctrination camp for kids. Wow, Will you are going to fall down the hole with Cruise ending up with no career and a pariah. Wow.

Maja With a J said...

It should be called "New Village PEOPLE Academy".

That school I might send my kids to. If I had any. Which I don't.

Judi said...

Who wrote this sh*t? They think they're going to pull families in with grammatically incorrect drivel? Never fear; people in Calab know better.

mooshki said...

This is done to help students so that they gain 100% certainty.

Gah! 100% certainty is how Bush got us into Iraq!

bookjacket said...

Did you see the developmental/educational psychologists whose work guides them? Montessori, Piaget...and L. Ron Hubbard. Good grief.


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