Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Jessica Simpson Replaced By Monkey

As Ashlee Simpson gets set to film a pilot episode of her new talk show The Ashlee Simpson Show (yes, seriously), she wanted to have her sister Jessica as her co-host, sidekick. Well, the producers weren't having it. Because Pimpa isn't one of the producers of the show he couldn't just unilaterally put Jessica on the show. Presumably he did offer to have Jessica parade around in a bikini during the show and utter witty sayings like, "hi," and "I use Pro-Activ," but no go.

So, who to replace Jessica? It was a tough call, but the producers decided on a monkey. Not just any monkey though. Ashlee will be joined by Kate, a rhesus macaque, who is said to have directed Fall Out Boy’s ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmrs’ video and attended this week’s Kerrang! Awards with the band.

The source explained: “The show’s producers want a quirky show. They thought it would be really funny to have the monkey co-host the show.”

“She’s going to be the rock monkey and will ‘direct’ other bands coming on the show. Sadly, this format change meant there was no place for Jessica. The monkey is the co-host they want."

Now, if the movie studios would just catch on, there may still yet be time to save Major Movie Star.


Unknown said...

Can they get a monkey to replace Ashlee too???

Unknown said...

kchal, my thoughts exactly

Tracee said...

Are you serious, Ent? This article sounds like it came from News of The World and was featured next to the article Bat Kid has Cat Baby.

Unknown said...

Why are either of those grossly untalented girls stll getting work? It defies all sense of logic and fairness. The fact that Ashlee is doing a talk show means her next appearance will be at a casino somewhere in Western Washington.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I think Ashlee is pretty.

*dodges flying fruits and vegetables*

Hez said...

These grossly untalented girls are getting work for three reasons:

The Internets (why is Paris the only one that inspires a ban?)

Their tits (or in Assica's case, whatever else she's augmented, which seems to be everything from the nose to the "voice")

Their pimp/dad.


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