Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I Don't Think It Is The Gay Thing

Michael Lohan is being well, uuh, Michael and has gone on the record about whether he would be asked to give away Lindsay Lohan in a wedding between Lindsay and Samantha Ronson. “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Umm, I think that perhaps Michael is planning his excuses in advance. I mean this is the guy who despite his Christian faith has not exactly been honest and forthcoming about his love child that he had while committing adultery. Guess that page was torn out from his bible. Hey, these things happen. I was going to go into a long and involved joke about hotels and tissues and bibles but thought it was in poor taste. I know it doesn't generally stop me, but hey, there has to be a line somewhere. Mine wanders from side to side and back and forth and sometimes it is really hard to see at night after a few too many drinks, but it is there.

Anyway, Michael seems to think that the only reason Lindsay wouldn't invite him to the wedding is because of his Christian faith. I think the more likely scenario is that if she invited him he would probably try and make a buck off it by either wearing a hidden camera for some tabloid show or taking photos on his cell phone and selling them. There is also the possibility that Lindsay just doesn't like her dad. Hard to believe I know that someone as loveable as Michael isn't loved by the entire world at large and that he hasn't been named the only living saint in history.

What on earth does your faith have to do with seeing your daughter get married? She is your daughter. As far as I'm concerned if I had a daughter and she was marrying the chimps from the Wizard Of Oz, I would still be there. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have a discussion with her about what to expect on her wedding night, but I wouldn't miss her wedding. I guarantee you that if Lindsay does change her mind and invites Michael, that he will say something along the lines of what I just wrote. Minus of course the part about the monkeys and The Wizard Of Oz. Now, he may make some reference to the Wicket Witch, but that would be just his pet name for Dina.


irishstayc2 said...

hmmmm while Dina is quite "batty" and probably a "sticky wicket" as well, I think you meant Wicked Witch

I'll get you my pretty's and your little dog SamRo too...Hee hee

But seriously - would it have been soooo hard for him to simply say "If my daughter is happy I'm happy and i support her 100%" douchebag!

Ayesha said...

I just don't get why Christians hate gays and gayness so much. I am sure that Jesus would have welcomed the gays the way he would a leper or a prostitute. Why can't they?

Another of the million reasons I forsook Christianity.

Mother Campfire said...

Real christians DONT hate 'mos.

jax said...

it's funny how christians believe we were all created by god EXCEPT gays...what were they a form of evolution?
oh there goes THAT argument too...

Uber*nought said...

Yeah, well, nice sentiment but "real" Christians don't seem to be making themselves much evident lately.

All I'm seeing is hate and arrogance from Christians. And here we have yet another showing his all-encompassing love and tolerance. Her own father! Jeez, I bet she's thrilled.

Ayesha said...

If I may, I'd like to analyze from my armchair for a moment.

I will bet a hundred bucks that Michael Lohan has a "reason" for distancing himself from each of his children. First is Dina; yeah, she is such a shrew and she's keeping him from seeing them. (Sure, Dina wouldn't LOVE a weekend without her kids) He's not sure the son is really his. Lindsay is a lesbian or a threat to his sobriety. Ali is challenging his authority.

I had a friend whose father was much closer to his new wife's children. And it was always my friend's fault that he couldn't spend time with her. (Granted, she WAS a pain in the ass, but parents are supposed to love their kids). So he would pick fights with her when it was his weekend to see her; about her grades, whatever. Then he would jet off with his step-family. It was painful to watch. All she wanted was her dad's love. Oh, and he was a fucking psychiatrist.

mags said...

Michael Lohan is a real Asshole and that's about it.

I'll get you my pretty's and your little dog SamRo too...Hee hee

Too funny irishstayc2.

vitazza said...

OK! I am Christian and I have No problem with Homosexuals!!! In fact my Pastor dosen't either.....so IDK what Mike's problem is!!!!He could just be happy for his baby and leave it at that...
Did I mention I belong to the United Church of Christ (not in Chicago)and I'm progressive as well!

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Gee, this only goes to enhance my already lofty views of Christians as deeply tolerant, intelligent, and undogmatic people.

Go shove a cross up your ass, Michael. And leave it there until it gets infected. Lindsay doesn't need you at her goddamned wedding. She's over eighteen, anyway, so aren't you done leeching off her? Lindsay's in a relationship that's finally made her NOT constantly snort lines, scrawl defamatory graffiti on bathroom stalls, steal people's coats, and give BJ's on camera. Shouldn't that make a daddy happy?

And she's even working steadily again, and good for her. I LOVED her in Mean Girls, and I still maintain that she's a GREAT SNL host. I will always find her so precious specifically because of the Debbie Downer skit in which she and Jimmy Fallon could NOT keep straight faces. And the Appalachian Emergency Room skit in which she was a "charleader" who "popped mah cooter bone!" Loved. It.

Anyway, my point: I know that SamRo isn't as cute as her brother and her taste in hats is awful, but at least Lindsay's been staying out of trouble. So she has a clitoris, and your daughter likes it. So fucking what?

Go finish thumping your Bible. Go call Dick Cheney and ask him for HIS advice. Maybe you two could share a few tales about having gay daughters. And go ahead and ask DICK why it's cool for his daughter to HAVE A CHILD, but he's still deadset against *normal* lesbians marrying and providing loving homes to children.

I think that the moment John Edwards asked Cheney about his daughter during the Vice Presidential debates was the finest, most splendid political event on television ever. I nearly had an orgasm.

Sorry, but the whole Gay People Not Being Allowed to Marry in America issue just PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF.

Is it November yet?????

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Alright: an immediate disclaimer. I will admit that there ARE some Christians out there who are NOT all conservative anti-Darwinists who have W stickers on their cars and eschew women's rights and gay equality.

But you all need to SPEAK UP and SPEAK LOUDER. Because your less tolerant brethren is basically ruining your initial reputation as a kindhearted, benevolent people.


Mother Campfire said...

Seriously, ubernought, I hear what you're smelling. I do. But one bad mo-hating Lohan-apple shouldn't ruin the whole bunch.

It's sad that media is actually giving him a soapbox to spew his bullshit, but in reality *most* of the Christians I know personally are lovers of all people. I do have a relative that became born again and he supported the family biggot act or whatever that thing was. But we don't talk about him. He's really the bad sheep of the family and he just doesn't know it.

lutefisk said...

Maybe he doesn't like the fact that it will be a mixed marriage.

Ashlae said...

I'm a christian but I hate how other christians hate gays and think that being gay is wrong. God created everyone including gays and some gays I know chose that lifestyle but I believe most gays are born gay.

ClaireFrasier said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ClaireFrasier said...

Hi, I'm ClaireFrasier, and I'm a Christian. (Of the Catholic persuasion).

I support gay marriage. I don't think homosexuality is evil. As my son said: "How come gay marriage "de-vaulues" marriage, but straights can get married in Vegas and get divorced the next day and THAT doesn't de-vaulue marriage? Love is love is love."

I was so proud...

Wil said...

To: Dad
From: Linds
Re: Walking me down the aisle to give me away

Dear Dad,
Not really interesting in you walking me down the aisle to give me away, as you pretty much did that long ago and it had nothing to do with your religion.
Thanks for Playing,

P.S. The "girl thing" .. it's because you pretty much maxed me out on the whole "dick" thing.

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

LOL, Wil! That's awesome!

ablake said...

Christian here, no problem with gay people.
Mr. Lohan in my mind is the same type as Fred Phelps. All talk and no faith.
It's not my responsibility to upgrade the image of Christians in the world. It's my responsibility to live my faith.
Stereotype all you want.

Ashlae said...

I hate how Christians are sterotype all the time. I know a lot of people think we hate gays and lesbians but that's not true! I'm a christian and I support gays, I have no problem with gays (Plus I have a lot of friends who are gay, go figure LOL)

nieceytee said...


As a proud, Unitarian Universalist, African American, female, card carrying, woman identified bisexual (who will be marrying a lesbian in 2010), I highly doubt that Lindsey will miss whoremonger dad at her wedding. I think that there will be a collective sigh of relief afterwards that dad didn't attend.

P.S. Let's hope that Lindsey and Sam have security check the bathrooms, the kitchen, and anywhere that good old dad could have hidden a camera BEFORE the ceremony . . .


Popular Posts from the last 30 days