Monday, August 10, 2009

Jeremy Piven Loves Mango (The Character, Not The Fruit. Well, Maybe The Fruit Also)


Proving once again that Jeremy Piven is a tool who loves Saturday Night Live, he and Chris Kattan got into a fight. No, not like a fight, fight involving fists and actual body contact. Instead it was a verbal joust that had Piven shooting spittle and Chris doing a whole lot of that awkward fake smiling of his.

According to the NY Daily News, Jeremy and Chris were backstage at Alexa Chung's talk show on MTV. Chris made a joke which went a little something like this. "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?"

Piven then replied, "Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?"

At that point Chris should have known he had won. Piven loves Mango. Maybe he harbors some secret crush of Mango. What happened instead though was that Chris and Jeremy continued to go back and forth with Chris thinking it was all in good fun and Piven starting to sweat and spit and pull out his four remaining real hairs.

At some point Chris realized that Jeremy was actually upset and did the whole, "hey I thought we were joking thing," and Piven said, "I'm getting sued for that s--t! It's not funny!"

Umm, yeah it is actually funny because it is still quite possibly the worst excuse ever given by an adult for missing work. It is the equivalent of the dog eating my homework. However I will say that having seen what puppies do to furniture, walls and shoes it wouldn't surprise me if, over the course of history a dog did actually eat the homework of someone. I doubt however that anyone else in the history of mankind has ever called in sick for eating too much sushi.

When the Daily News called Piven's rep they played some kind of song and dance game and said it was all joking. When they called Kattan's rep they said Jeremy went ballistic.

22 comments:

Mooshki said...

"I doubt however that anyone else in the history of mankind has ever called in sick for eating too much sushi."

Actually, I think that was my co-worker's exact excuse for not being here today. :)

Mooshki said...
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Booster Seat said...

My co-worker did the same thing for a Saturday morning meeting we had...but *I* was the only one who knew that it was the sake that went along with the sushi that did her in.

Booster Seat said...
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califblondy said...

This is funny as hell.

AnonMom said...

High-larious.

jlb said...

Team Mango!

RocketQueen said...

I can't stand Mango, so I'll just say Team Chris :)

Carrie L said...

Way to go Chris! I can't stand Piven, which sucks because his new movie coming out has a great cast if it wasn't for him. I just can't force myself to buy a ticket and have the movie studios think he can sell a movie. Maybe they will come out with a Piven-less version?

Sporky said...

Team Mango, now and forever!

Beensie said...

Did anyone see him on Big Brother last night? He seemed like such a *dork* and the movie trailer he was promoting looks like it should go straight to DVD!

selenakyle said...

I, too, love-a the forbidden Mango!

Lisa (original) said...

I can believe the homework excuse. My sister's puppy ate the apple-cinnamon potpourri I had on a coffe table, and magazines, and newspapers. What she didn't eat, she spread all over the livingroom floor. Looked like the remains of a tiny tornado :-)

Anonymous said...

Piven is coming out tonight on the SyFy channel. They have a wrestling match going on. He looks stupid.

sunnyside1213 said...

From the LA Times...Mango moved in a highly ostentatious way -- a cross between a gay man and a meerkat ...

Karmen said...

I had a pet bunny that gnawed on my homework, but didn't destroy it.

Piven's a douche. Go Team Mango!

Guttersnipey said...

*shrugs*

I've seen this shit played out 3454354 times when I worked in a bar. It's called a drunken cockfight.

Mango FTW, though.

ardleigh said...

If I were Katan I'd have kept up the broadway refrences and even begun humming George Benson tune "On Bradway".

ardleigh said...

P.S. I never had a dog EAT my homework but I did have one puke on my homework in by backpack before school. The teachers reply:
" Why was it on the floor where the dog could get it?."

ureallyannoyme said...

I have no patience for punks like Jeremy Piven. I'd gladly pay $125/ticket for a nice evening at a quality show with talented singers and dancers. Instead, B'way produces CRAP and stunt casts "actors" like Jeremy Piven.

The last time I paid to see a show it was Jon Secada in Grease. Now I go when I get free tickets.

The only thing worse than bad actors on Broadway are bad audiences. The woman sitting next to me at West Side Story was shaking Milk Duds out of her box when Tony was telling Maria that Bernardo was dead. Plus, you can smell the waste from the bathrooms at the Palace Theatre. Dumbasses like The Piv + Excessive prices + Tourists Taking Dumps = Broadway 2009.

mngddess said...

Piven is "wrestling" on TV tonight. Since when is he so desperate for publicity??

And the sad thing is, he's obnoxcious and dirty and sexy. Damn it.

Judi said...

Yeah, funny. Piven's a joke. He showed up in the Big Brother house on last night's episode to promote his film (that no one will see) and it was anti-climactic.

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