Friday, January 18, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Well, we were going to blab all about pee-happy Super-Duper Cooper’s nasty-ass demand that his (ex) blondie ditz dame get an abortion—most men are simply hideous, straight and gay, all there is to it—but after last week’s pooch-offing Blind left us in a very bad mood, just had to offer up something, uh, a tad more festive to ponder this week. Hope you don’t mind. Promise, back to the desultory trash soon!

So, remember Bravado Boom-Cocks, the star with the overly loud, potty-mouthed manners who chewed out a poor party host? He’s just gotten himself a fabulous new mansion. Ain’t entertainment money just devilishly over-the-top? The pad’s as huge as the boy’s rumored endowment, promise. And he was bragging about the spread’s size to an amigo recently. And said amigo was quite aware of BBC’s fondness for masturbation. So, he asked the award-winning celebrity if he had yet autoerotically christened the new mansion yet.

“Are you kidding?” bellowed the outspoken pisser. “Every room.”

Jeez. He hasn't even moved in to the joint yet. That sex addict works fast.

68 comments:

hlillywhite said...

Ricky Gervais?

Kara said...

Kinda OT:

This morning I was reading Ted C's column and noticed a nice Jake G/Toothy Tile reference.

Remember how Ted's been saying that Toothy and his BF (Austin?) adopted a kidlet?

Ted wrote, "Maybe Jakey’s been teaching our sexy surfer stud (Matthew Mc)about the joys of domesticity...He himself has been spending an awful lotta time getting all cozy and family oriented—and we don't mean Reese, trust."

kellysirkus said...

did you guys see the X1 pics of Britney, no pants, fishnets and top, and "stained" underwear? OMG! so disgusting!

When the stylist said "accessorize with a subtle shock of crimson" I don't think this is what she had in mind.

jlb said...

Jeremy Piven

Jolara said...

While, I know the name is Bravado Boom-Cocks Is there a "hint" in the choice of BBC initials?....meaning, could it be a british bloke?

Oh wait, y'all already know this one, right? LOL

parisss said...

Is the abortion guy have anything to do with the rumor Pam Anderson is getting an abortion? Rick Solomon = Super-Duper Cooper?

Ha! I think christening every room is a great idea! Good for him! No idea who he is.

jax said...

well so now we know John Mayer made Jessica get an abortion...
aside from award winning i though this was dane Cook..but Gervais sounds right.

Dijea said...

jax, I so though John Mayer & Jessica. I'm so glad I'm not alone.

No clue on Mr. Happy Hand Job.

Kara said...

Yeah, that's why Jess was so 'heartbroken'. She probably thought she had landed a family. Maybe this was all going down when they were breaking up in Mexico.

Jolara said...

I thought that it was Jess & John too, but because they are old news, I figured it was someone else...

parisss said...

John Mayer? How's it him? Is he Super Duper Cooper? I thought Solomon, but you're all probably right!

That WOULD explain why he'd stick up for her recently. He is into water sports, isn't he?

Jolara said...

Kelly- EWWWW! I had to see what you were talking about...She is so...blech. Knowing her, she did it on purpose to keep her name in the tabs...

Jolara said...

I heard that Pam was aborting too. TBH, it's probably for the best...

pisly said...

Jeremy Irons.

NQ said...

Def think the 2nd is Gervais, considering the multiple British references (BBC + pisser). He's known to be well-endowed (was a blind reveal here!) and is definitely an award-winner. Not sure I can ever watch the Extras Daniel Radcliffe ep in the same way again, now (wonder if he was supposed to be Gervais, lololol)...

Twisted Sister said...

Here was the first blind item Ted posted about BBC (posted in September 2007).

My mother called. She said this column’s starting to resemble “a newsletter for filthy-mouthed nobodies who need to go to sex rehab.” Mind you, Mariah thinks Lindsay Lohan is a nobody, but then, arguably, she has a point.

So, for Ms. C (the elder one), let’s give the inebriated diddling-behind-stalls and same-sex ferreting a break—just for today. But no go on the nasty-tongued biz, sorry! Like when did I ever really do what mama told me...

Bravado Boom-C0cks is quite famous but not always exactly beloved. Even though he’s a mucho gifted, award-showered, multitalented performer, he’s not really known for his private cool. Indeed, BBC was out here on the coast, having flown in for a project he’s doing, as well as a charity gig he was asked to participate in—reason being, the charity’s contributing beaucoup bucks to B’s latest pro undertaking. He was sorta forced into it, actually.

The organizer of said project had been in direct contact (no rep go-between) with Bravado, a line of communication Mr. Boom-C0cks sometimes chooses, as he detests pretense intensely. But Boomy-baby now regrets that decision, big-time.

See, Bravado isn’t exactly known for dressing, how shall we say, chicly? BBC rarely wears anything even approaching couture. For this reason, the organizer gave the charity event’s handler Boom-****’s private cell number, which the handler blithely called pronto.

“Even though things are more casual out here,” the charitable worker bee blathered on, once Bravado answered, “you really shouldn’t be dressing like you’re going to somebody’s barbecue or anything.”

Bravado’s polite response? “F--k you, lady!” he bellowed, and promptly hung up.

Then B dialed, brow slightly sweating with anger. Called up the guy who had given out his number in the first place. “How dare you? If you ever give out my number again,” BBC fumed, “I will see to it that you get me a new phone and call every one of my contacts and give them the new number, you f--king *******!”

BBC wasn’t done, either: “And for punishment, tonight, when I show up, I will be taking no pictures whatsoever, not with anybody, no matter how much money they’ve donated, so you can learn your lesson and never do this to me again, you f--king jerk!”

The poor man, no doubt holding his own phone far away from his eardrums, begged BBC to reconsider. He did not. And you thought Ireland Baldwin was the only put-upon cellie caller in town?

Think again.
And It Ain't

Sean Penn, Billy Bob Thorton, Dennis Leary


Sounds like Ricky Gervais to me.

DNfromMN said...

But it Aint's:
Kevin Nealon
Kevin Costner
Kevin Spacey

Shouldn't we think this would be a Kevin also (for jackoff jerk)

DNfromMN said...

And a link to Super-Duper Cooper's previous blind and our discussion on it then:
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2007/10/ted-c-blind-item_26.html

Twisted Sister said...

DNFrommn, do you post at eonline? What's your handle? I'll look for your comments, because you often get it right.

DNfromMN said...

twisty - I don't post at eonline. And while I appreciate the confidence, my blind item guessing is usually not so good. I tend to derail things more than get them right. :)

Since I'm posting in this thread again, let me do the links correctly, huh?

Our previous comments on Bravado Boom Cocks is here.

Our previous comments about Super-Dooper Cooper the pooper is here.

Twisted Sister said...

DN, sorry, I misread your post above mine. I thought you were referencing a discussion on eonline, not here. LOL on the derailer thing.

Kelly, I'm not familiar with X1. Can you or someone else please post a link?

surfer said...

twisty - go to www.x17online.com, on the second page. That's as far as I'm willing to go. Beyond gross.

GammaGirl said...

My guess is Ricky Gervais. Isn't he rumored to be an ass off camera?

As for the Britney pictures, the tabloid media has reached a new low. I think what is most disturbing is that people care if she's on her period (Not to brit: Wear pants) I don't even want to know how much money the skeeze who took the pictures got for pointing his zoom lens at her crotch.

captivagrl said...

re brit pic: i'm not at all surprised.

Twisted Sister said...

Thanks, Surfer!

Gammagirl, yes, I've seen references to R.G. being pretty ass-hatty.

surfer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
catsmeow said...

I'll go with John and Jess for the first one. Just last week Enty (or someone)had a pic of Mayer in his mini cooper saying how he wanted to take off and the car wouldn't run.

GladysKravitz said...

I think that BBC is Simon Cowell. He is known to be arrogant (see previous Ted C. item) and also is not known for his chic sense of style (see previous Ted C. item). I can completely see him "christening" his new living quarters and being proud of it.

No doubt that #1 is John Meyer, at least in my mind. All the clues in all the other blinds point to him. I feel sorry for Jessica Simpson, and that's saying a lot because I can't stand her.

Twisted Sister said...

Surfer -

I found mine at this site:

www.feebleminds-gifs.com

It's actually an animated .gif, meaning the tongue moves, but it doesn't seem to translate when posted here.

You can also do a google search using the word 'avatars'.

Avatars for everybody!

Kory said...

Ricky Gervais, can't wait to see him at the Kodak Center.

jax said...

Surfer...you can load any picture from your computer, just go intot your profile..or the dashboard.

my pix are just random things i think are amusing depending on my mood.

jax said...

OT

MY EYES!!!! damn do NOT go to X17...those Brit period pics are a damn disgrace..that biotch has no shame. none. disgusting!
get thee to a mental ward stat!

surfer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
surfer said...

Yeah, aren't those pics absolutely disgusting? Someone needs to send Brit a supply of Tampax!

surfer said...

okay jax, think I got it!

Bryn said...

Reading that earlier Ted C. blind about BBC, I could imagine Alec Baldwin having that cell phone conversation. Reminds me of the one he had with his daughter - he even mentioned her in the blind.

jax said...

ok surfer..lets take the scenic route..go up to top of page and click on dashboard. you should have to resign in and then it will have an area to change profile..you should be able to go from there.

jax said...

no prob.

Mat said...

#2 From the previous blog about BBC and this one, it kinda sounds like Russell Crowe.

surfer said...

OT

A few days ago Ent mentioned that he would be posting a story from one of Brad Renfro's friends (DS, I assume), but until that happens, I thought this might interest some. I came across this article courtesy of Towleroad; it's an article that was published in 2000 - the writer spent some time with Brad, DS and Bijou Phillips. Here's the link in case anyone is interested.

http://www.exclaim.ca/articles/multiarticlesub.aspx?csid1=1&csid2=3&fid1=493

Trix said...

Hm this guy is supposed to have a huge endowment? The only rumors I've heard about that...are about Liam "Evian Bottle" Neeson.

jax said...

Surfer..about Brad Renfro..did you see on TMZ they said he had just had a new tattoo on his back that said "fuck all ya'll"
im now wondering if it was suicide and not a accidental overdose.
He got the tattoo on the Sunday.

surfer said...

jax - yeah, I did see that. Pretty sad, and immature. When people get tats, they don't think ahead to how they may feel about them when they're 70. According to a report that may or may not have been on TMZ (can't remember), it said that his friends heard him snoring during the night, so who really knows what happened? People automatically assume it's drugs because of his history, but you know, maybe his heart just gave out from all the abuse. There's only so much a body can take.

Again, thanx for your help earlier.

Jennifer said...

I thought BBC was Colin Farrell

nycer said...

For all those guessing Gervais, here's a clip from Extras about wanking off w/ Gervais & Merchant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsGH6j_ubJI

Tracee said...

OMG! I can't believe we're discussing Brit's period panties!! Brit is cuckoo, but the tabs were out of line.

Sometimes a bitch spots. (Sorry fellas) Even the most careful of women have a problem here and there. give the crazy bitch a break. At least it wasn't shit in the front. THAT's REALLY nasty!

Getting back to a guess, Gervais sounds right. He looks like he pulls his wanker all the time!

Miss said...

Doesn't sound at all like Gervais to me. I expect he has his faults, but they're not these ones. And I don't think he's bought a house lately.

On the other hand, it is so Simon Cowell. He's always buying cars and mansions, and he's a wanker in every meaning of the word.

jax said...

Tracee..i agree but unless you actually saw the pics you can't understand..i wont go into gross details but come on..we're women we know what time it is. she was wearing panties and fishnets.
that's it...no skirt.

Twisted Sister said...

It looks like she had a skirt on and it was bunched up under a coat. There's a little bit sticking out. The sight is really gross, but if you're going to be a stupid idiot and show the world, then you run the risk of having it captured for posterity. I hate the paps, but you can't blame them for this one.

Tracee said...

I saw the photos. Made me gag and wish I never did...going to have nightmares of a bloody fish chasing me through the dark tonight.

But ya'll know the bitch is out her mind. You think she was really caring that her skirt was almost up to her head? I just can't believe they posted it. What's the point? We all know she's a dirty cooch!

Twisted Sister said...

Maybe they're hoping if they get enough evidence they can put her in 'the home'.

surfer said...

Tracee said...
I saw the photos. Made me gag and wish I never did...going to have nightmares of a bloody fish chasing me through the dark tonight.

OMG tracee, you are hilarious. "Nightmares of a bloody fish chasing me...." Where do you come up with these expressions.

Keep 'em coming!

Twisted Sister said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Twisted Sister said...

Surfer, I think Tracee and Jax use a skanksionary. No two people could be that funny without some kind of help...lol.

surfer said...

hmmm, skanksionary. Is that sort of like urbandictionary, but for the trailer-park set?

You know, sometimes the comments from the regulars are better than the posts themselves (sorry Ent, but true).

Twisted Sister said...

Yes, it is, Surf! And I'm wondering where I can order a copy.

jax said...

wtf? a skantionary? i wish.

no i was just born with a huge funny boner.

Err said...

I thought Super-Duper Cooper was Jesse Metcalf? My BBC guess: Elton John

Twisted Sister said...

Jax has a boner? I thought Jax had a vajayjay.

I'm always the last to know.

Judi said...

I thought so, too, Twis! I SERIOUSLY doubt Simon Cowell has a big willy. Elton John's not buying houses anymore - he's done. Yeah, could be Gervais or Baldwin. They're both pigs.
Thinking the first part is John M and Jess S. Question though: Is Rick Solomon into water sports?

TheZuluKing said...

BBC is Big Black C.ck. There are only a few award winning actors who qualify. The youngest and wildest of the bunch is Jamie Fox. I wish Ted revealed blind items,because BBC was in an earlier blind item. Yes, it is Jamie Fox.

Michelle said...

I'm saying its colin farrel

surfer said...

What a great guess, zuluking. Jamie Fox recently talked about his new home in an interview. I think you just cracked it.

redgurl72 said...

Oooh I like the Jamie Foxx guess.
Does Ted normally use words like mucho and Amigo? Is that a hint towards someone Spanish speaking?

Twisted Sister said...

Judi, good question about Rick Solomon. I don't know that I've heard anything on him and water sports before, but maybe someone else knows.

Redgurl, Ted uses Spanish and French words a lot. It usually doesn't mean anything.

Judi said...

Another question: Is Jamie Fox considered a sex addict? I think I've heard that he does get a lot of action but to the point of addiction? IDK.

scooter34 said...

Jerremy Piven -

He's a notorious asshole, and a cocksman.

He also works with a Kevin - referencing the three Kevin clues.

mulder said...

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin = Piven.

Ted practically gives us the answer. Bravado Boom-Cocks is Jeremy Piven. Even the number of syllables in the name match.

Jessica Simpson shouldn't be allowed to breed.