Monday, January 14, 2008

Jenna Jameson Retires From Porn


Over the weekend at the AVN Expo, 74 year old Jenna Jameson announced her retirement from porn. Yes, I know she is only 33 in actual, physical years on this earth, but calling her 74 is being generous. Jenna Jameson has not been hot for a very long time, and her addiction to plastic surgery has basically ruined and scarred and ravaged her body even more than 15 years of having sex with thousands of people each year.

Like any famous athlete who is well past their prime, Jenna had to announce her decision in front of the world. Since the world didn't want to come she just did in front of other porn stars and pervs. To view the announcement, watch the damn video below, and then go take the damn tour. The boos you hear in the audience are from doctors who have not had a chance to work their scalpel magic yet, and probably won't get a chance.

Jenna who was the star of such classics as Cum Dumpsters I, On Her Back, and Swallopalooza will best be remembered for, well nothing actually. She is a porn star. People were crying at this damn press conference like Jenna was the second coming or something. The only difference between Jenna and a hooker is that hookers aren't usually on film unless you are watching COPS.


13 comments:

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Only 33. I hope she finds a deeper meaning to life in the second act.

parisss said...

Ha! I remember a rumor that she had her lips done, and the results were horrible. Now, we all can tell that the lips on her face were done horribly.... but if other lips were done- that could explain her retirement. That, and she looks like an anorexic duck. She really used to be a beautiful hooker.

Kristen S. said...

She's on my deadpool list. I chose her over Britney.

Anonymous said...

she looks real bad for 33.

parisss said...

She looks really bad for alive.

Leah said...

Dear Jenna,
You are stealing my thunder.

Love,
Keith Richards

Cosmic said...

So classy. blech

MissCupcakeMagee said...

It's such a shame that she decided to attack herself in a surgical manner, I always thought she was an attractive woman... I can't imagine how a doctor could do that to a human being and then think "Well done, old boy, well done."

Les Suckno For President said...

She has AIDs and looks it

Jolara said...

I'm not a hater, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but Les is probably right. I bet she's being "asked" to retire. She is more popular now than ever before regardless of negative opinions.

I agree, she used to be so pretty.

mandjo said...

It's really hard to believe she is 33! It makes you wonder what she thinks when she looks back at old photos(or videos).

Alana said...

I feel bad for her and all the other woman who sell sex for a living. It is a very hard life and it shows. Many of them have had some sexual trauma when they were young or need money for drugs and it makes them predisposed to chose that lifestyle. Frankly, I feel sad for her. Sure she is rich but she will always be known as a "porn star" which is nothing more than a glorified prostitute.

Sweater said...

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT

She's a year younger than I am? Hell, I just got up and looked in the mirror, she looks like she could be my mom (in years, certainly not in style grace or class)

Ha, thanks for that confidence boost Jenna.

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