Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"Push Harder" ----- "Yes Daddy"


If the headline doesn't scare you on its own, I want you to just sit back in your chair and imagine this. I know many of you have children and judging by your comments, most of you must drink the same get pregnant juice as celebrities because you just keep on keeping on. I think that's fantastic, and if everyone wants to have ten kids, then even better. Imagine getting to the hospital on the day of your delivery. The contractions are really setting in now. The nurses are convinced you are actually going to go into labor so they take you to a birthing room, delivery room, labor room, or a 7 Eleven if you are named Britney. Anyway, there you are in the room. Everything is being connected to your body, your significant other is bitching about not being able to find the remote control or not enough channels. You know it's time to start pushing. Normally the nurse would start, and then the doctor would come in a bit later. Cool right? Well what if the nurse was your mom and the doctor was your dad?

That's right, your dad wants to deliver your baby. I know this is something Pimpa might like or Thora Birch's dad, but most fathers would not want to be reaching in to their daughter and saying push a little harder. Well you obviously have not met Nicole Kidman's family. They do that kind of thing. He already delivered Nicole's sister's baby and now he is going to handle the honors in this one. I can just hear the comments now. "Wow, you have been working this thing a little hard. Is this all Keith, or did Lenny have something to do with it?" "I remember like it was yesterday. Me showing you put on a condom and you kept practicing and practicing."

So when you are in that hospital room about to start pushing, and a head drops to between your legs to see how the head is coming, at least when the head pops back up, it won't be your dad telling you to push a little harder. I know I know. Try and fall asleep tonight thinking of that huh?



Thanks Twisted

58 comments:

QT said...

Wow! Part of me wants to think it is all warm and fuzzy- that Grandfather is helping bring the new generation into the world. The rest of me is squeeged out.

jax said...

well he is a doctor..of PSYCHIATRY!
goddamn Nicole..that is some fucked up shit.

i have no spawn but i dont think id want my Dad in the room for that..and thankfully he'd stay the hell away until the cigars arrived.
My vagina is not a 3 ring circus.
um..you know what i mean!!

captivagrl said...

i don't want my father looking at my peash. i don't care if my dad's king of the ob/gyn's. i don't get it. nicole's father is a psychologist, isn't he?

jlb said...

No wonder Tommy's life wasn't odd to her....she was already used to the crazy. Gross.

I can totally see PimpaJoe wanting something like this as well - hell, he'll probably even be there for the conception.

Nicole said...

I just threw up a little in my mouth!

captivagrl said...

i can't wait for the comment: "americans are so uptight about their bodies, in australia and europe fathers have been giving their daughters pap tests for years"

Twisted Sister said...

Anytime, EL!

And he's already done this with Nicole's sister. EWWWWWWWW!

Cap, the word 'peash' just cracks me up. Kathy Griffin uses it, I think.

Urban Myths said...

She is a certifiable nut case. Run, Keith, Run!!!

Dijea said...

There is no way I want to show my daddy my who-ha no matter what kind of a doctor he is or how good he is at that doctorness.

Kory said...

I am also happy that other people are having kids because someone needs to pay for my social security when I get old. I just wish that parents would realize that their children are not enjoyed by other people. Keep them quiet, stuff them with Ritalin. I believe that children should not be seen or heard.

Anonymous said...

Ent's on the rant today. Whoo! (or is this a twisted rant? I'm confused by the thanks to twisty)

It just makes you wonder if this is the first time dad stuck his fingers into his daughters that he wants to do it again.

Jolara said...

LOL @ Captivagrl.



...I don't know what to say...

Jolara said...

dnfrommn- EWWWWW! Stop it, you're sounding like a pedophile...

Kara said...

Just Gross.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Not to worry. My daddy's of the generation where baby daddies sit nervously in the waiting room wondering if it's going to be a boy. He wouldn't step foot in a delivery room if his life depended on it.

parisss said...

Ha! I guess I jumped on that celeb bandwagon & got knocked up to keep up with Nicole, Xtina, Halle, and whoever else.

Kudos to Nicole for not scheduling a c-section (like most celebrites)to avoid the hip spread.

I know after 2 intense, over 28 hour labors- you have zero modesty. The janitor could have come in and I doubt I would have blinked. If he could have plungered them out faster, great.

But dad? Ummmm...

And Kory, we're all happy you aren't spawning. It sounds like you probably don't get laid enough to worry!

jax said...

jolara- agreed..that is just sick and wrong DN.

jax said...

i don't think anyone should look down their noses at a women who chooses a C section btw.

its 2008 and if im too posh to push all the friggin power to me.
you know if a man could have babies they would have figured out a better way by now.
Being in hard labour for 72 hours doesnt make you a hero.
it usually just makes you a martyr.

Twisted Sister said...

dnfrommn, I sent him the link to the blurb about it....EL and I are sharing this rant.

Parisss, bwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Yeah, I don't mind the "I'm never having kids" thing AT ALL, but I'm not a fan of the "hate kids and proud of it" thing.

Carla said...

Couldn't help flashing to that scene in Knocked Up when the gyno starts his examination of Heigl and says, "Now I see the resemblance to your sister."

Fabiola Thing said...

Twisted Sister said...

Parisss, bwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Yeah, I don't mind the "I'm never having kids" thing AT ALL, but I'm not a fan of the "hate kids and proud of it" thing.
__________________
And we all know who makes the rules around here, right Sista?

__-__=__ said...

I don't really want anyone in my family seeing me naked. Ever.

parisss said...

Hey jax- I've had both, and I apologize if I sounded harsh. I am not a martyr, I'm a big wimp who took as many drugs as the doctors would allow to kill the pain. I guess it doesn't matter if you choose a c-section, or if you're forced to have one. I do know doctors are hesitant to give a woman a c-section due to it being much riskier. I guess I'm bitter that my first birth spread my hips!
After Nicole delivers and goes insane (wait till she sees her hips spread!!)- you and I can debate if she has post partum, or issues from her daddy seeing her spread open :)

parisss said...

And healing from a c-section is rough.

Anonymous said...

jax/jolara: sorry to disturb you, but when a dad comments about getting involved with his daughter's genitalia as an adult, you have to wonder if they pondered getting involved with it previously. (Same goes for Thora and Jessica's dads -- although, what we know of Pimpa Joe, my guess is that he did it more for the sensational/publicity aspect.)

brendalove@gmail.com said...

All I know is that I reached a certain point in my labor where I didn't care if the Queen of England saw my cooch, bring 'em all in and let 'em have a look, JUST GET THAT BABY OUT OF THERE!!!

parisss said...

Brendalove- Ha!! I felt the same!

jax said...

see that's where we differ...i highly doubt this has to do with a father trying to get his jollies..that is mearly a by product of peoples reactions from this story.

uncomfortable? yes.
awkward? yes
but commiting adult incest?
um that is a stretch.

jax said...

pariss- to each their own horror story..lol.

Twisted Sister said...

I give up, Fab, who?

Jolara said...

dnfrommn- Awww, no apology necessary for me. I wasn't offended, It was just creepy & yucky. I understood what you were saying. I know molestation is out there, but I want to live in my la,la land here and not think about it. :0)

Oh, and I am guessing that the majority of celebrities get a c-section not only because they are vain but also because they have STD's preventing a "natural" (old fashioned way)birth. *shrugging shoulders* No proof, just a guess.

Kory said...

Parissssssssssssssss,

What is your problem? You know all about my sex life? Are you my newlywed, extremely hot husband? Then you would know.

Step off bitch. You don't want to play with fire. You might get burned.

parisss said...

I don't think it's neccessarily the weirdest thing. I think it's admirable that a family is close enough for that. I did not think of that region as anything remotely sexual during labor. She will have to see a physician (mid-wife?) through her pregnancy, I would assume. I guess having your father bring your child into the world could be very nice for some women.
And I dont' think that Mr. Kidman is being a pervert. If he wanted to watch conception, a little different.
I couldn't handle my father seeing me in labor. At least not from that angle!

parisss said...

kory- go do your stud! I'll go pop my kids full of ritalin.

jax said...

i don't like when mommy and daddy fight.

Jolara said...

glued to comments...

~eating popcorn, sipping on soda~

Molly said...

kory you need to get over yourself. You're the bitch who started it with your comments about kids. And anyways you're as bad as the other whacko who's been posting lately.

Molly said...

hey twisty. Based on Fabiola things post on another thread

"OK, well the problem, Sarah, is that this young lady has no thoughts, opinions and feelings.
And $cientology is more than a "little weird." Try reading sometime,'K?"


it looks like she makes the rules around here. At least she thinks she does. Yeah the bitches are out tonight!

Kara said...

Hisss!

Twisted Sister said...

Molly, Molly, Molly. My question to Fabiola was rhetorical. Generally I ignore the baiting for shit-stirring, but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Like I just gave you.

Kory said...

Here goes the high school gang mentality. Please all the mommies stick together because I made a comment about kids in general. Wow, take that comment personally. You people need to grow a backbone.

I don't like kids. Many people don't like kids. So fucking what? How does that affect you? I don't beat your kids, but I wish that you would so they would shut up in public.

You people look to start fights and I noticed that people don't comment or the old timers have left because some of you think that you have a clique here. You don't.

classy_stoner said...

I think you are all fucked up for judging ANYONE for how they give birth. Slam celebrities on anything else, but birth is so personal and private and there shouldn't be a "right or wrong" way to do it.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

If ya'll have any of that Ritalin left over, I'll take it.

Jolara said...

K- Brenda, hold on, I take that stuff ... I got one in my purse...it's extended release...LOL

Twisted Sister said...

bait, bait, bait....

mandjo said...

Violent Much? lol

Jolara said...

No, I'm not trying to start more trouble, I swear! I was being funny...I seriously take ritalin! LOL

Miss X said...

I wouldn't want my dad watching me in labor (ewww!) but if it works for Nicole then, fine. It's her choice.

Twisted Sister said...

Jolara, I wasn't saying that to you, ya nut.

Or maybe I'm the nut and you weren't saying that to me?

Jolara said...

Yeah Twisted, I thought you were giving me a finger shaking. :0)

Twisted Sister said...

No. I was posting that to Kory. I'm so sick of the "you're all in a clique" bullshit. I don't think you've been here that long, Jolara, and everyone gets along with you, and I wasn't here from the beginning, so WHAT CLIQUE? Oh, I get it. Those of us who aren't assholes and get along with each other are in a clique, and the pit bulls that start trouble are not, so they're pissed.

The old timers left for other reasons. Someone with anger management issues isn't paying attention.

Jolara said...

Ohhhhh. Yeah, I'm a noob. I found this place during the middle of Timmy/Shimmy and have been hooked ever since. Mostly because the people on here are (mostly) fair and nice. We all make snarky remarks here and there, but no harm is usually meant.

ladorabelle said...

I find myself on both sides of this argument. I dislike most kids. I adore my kids. They are well-behaved and quiet in public.

I understand disliking kids because I see a lot of brats. My mother owned a daycare when I was growing up. Helping change diapers is not cool when you are 14.

Also, c-section for twins. Planned and, well, not easy. But I wasn't pushing for more than a day, either. C-section for this one, too. But only because I've already been down that road once. Most doctors I've seen won't let you try naturally once you've been sliced.

Twisted Sister said...

Jolara, you're cool, and almost everybody who posts here is, too.

Ladorabelle, I'll be the first one to say that a lot of adults act like spoiled brats and impose THEIR brats on the rest of the world, and I have two kids who are well behaved. But I think contempt for kids can be extreme, and that's what it looks like when Kory posts about them. And I find it odd that she feels she can post whatever she wants, but can't at all take it when others post in response. SHE needs to grow a fucking backbone!

Twisted Sister said...

Oh, and let me add something. I couldn't care less if someone says they don't want kids. Having kids isn't for everybody. But it's like people who don't like dogs and keep posting that owners need to keep their dogs drugged and indoors. That's nothing more than shit stirring.

S said...

I agree that birth is private. Not quite sure why Nicole would share this tidbit. Unless it is total BS. Elective C-section is bad, bad, bad. Do some research - major complications are possible and it does raise risks for both mom and baby. Research, research people! And I, being no scientologist, say make all the noise you want when you are giving birth... and I love kids. Remember, you, too, were a noisy, naughty, snotty child. And you turned out fine, right???

ladorabelle said...

Oh, I definitely think that contempt for children goes too far a lot of the time. If one of mine starts whining/screaming/crying/etc in a public place, feel free to make nasty faces at them. But you'll be doing it to our backs because I'll be removing them from the situation. But, I've seen too many nasty faces made at us as we walk into a restaurant or store. That is unnecessary.

jannie said...

You know this is just so sick. The thought of her doing that just creeps me out on so many levels. I can remember the day when i thought Keith was so much more than all of this junk for sure. But he has not been out of the tabs since they have been together.And each week it gets worse. He has reached the all time low. the thought of keith allowing this is just so asinine. Has he fogotten that perception is everything. Nicoles perception has been in the crapper for a long time. She has been out of touch for a while.And just asking here! WHAT IN THE HECK IS UP WITH THE TENNIS CRAP? I mean really OMG. Keith is a musician for gods sake, not a TOMMY BOY CLONE . Sorry for the rant i did not mean to do it.

Advertisement

Popular Posts from the last 30 days