Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Oprah Is Stealing From Me and Getting Richer


I stole the word OWL from JK Rowling and used it to describe Oprah's school in South Africa, and now Oprah is stealing from me for her own television network. Oh yes, you heard me right. Next year the Discovery Health Network will become OWN - The Oprah Winfrey Network. That's all this world needs is more Oprah. It is going to be all the rage. Every celebrity is going to want their own networks now. D list celebrities will pool their quarters and nickels to get one of their own and other celebrities will buy their own network and just show their movies and television appearances 24 hours a day. William Shatner will be available to host any and all of these networks for one small monthly fee.

I know all of you love Oprah and think she is the greatest person known to mankind. I don't. Oh, I think she does good things for people, even great, but I also don't think she does it for them as much as she does it for ratings. When she busy someone a new home, why does it have to be done on television. When she bought everyone in the audience a new car, why couldn't she have announced it before taping. The car thing is pretty simple. Buick would have been pissed since they were the ones who really made it possible.

Oprah does these things to feed one of the largest egos on the face of the planet. There is nothing wrong with having a huge ego. Most successful people do. The problem is that she is trying to feed her ego by pretending to be something she is not, and that is what I don't like. I am not the world's foremost expert on women's television networks, but I think there is at least Lifetime and Oxygen. Is there really a need for another network that is going to be exactly similar? More made for television films and Oprah, Oprah Oprah 24 hours a day. I imagine they will show each and every Oprah episode repeatedly. The ticker at the bottom of the screen will let you know exactly what or who Oprah is doing at any given point. I don't need to see Oprah sleeping, or Oprah eating running across the bottom of my screen 24 hours a day. Four hours daily will be devoted to Dr. Phil and another four hours to Rachael Ray. 30 minutes will be given to Rachael Ray's husband for the deviant sex questions of the day show which will run late night, right after the How To Open Your Own School infomercial

20 comments:

Kristen S. said...

But Oprah owns Oxygen, too, right? So why the hell do we need another Oprah network? Not that Discovery Health is all that great. In fact, I don't think I've ever watched anything on that network.

Twisted Sister said...

Kristen, Oxygen is owned by NBC Universal, but it was founded by Geraldine Laybourne who also ran it. I think Oprah's only connection to it is the after show (or whatever that is).

Twisted Sister said...

I totally agree with EL, though. She does some good, but it's always made known to the public. Plus, I think she's a closet racist.

Dijea said...

I have to say, since backing Obama, I have lost all respect for her. I am no longer on the Oprah bandwagon.

Anyway, I kind of like the Discover Health Network. Why does she have to go and screw somthing else I like up?

Elle said...

Seems to me like she's copying Howard Stern. He's had Howard TV for a few years, right?

He's the true pioneer (and talk about an ego!).

jax said...

you know what's funny..my Mom LOVES Oprah and watches daily..
we went out for dinner Sunday night and got to talking about Oprah when all of s sudden my mom goes
"I hate Oprah,she thinks shes the second coming of Jesus"

i pissed myself..even her Mom majority has had enough.

Kory said...

No, not all of us. I can't stand this woman and I never understood the attraction. Of course, I actually have a job and have never watched her show.

Oh and mankind really? I always considered myself to be part of humankind. Actually, I don't. I'll just go back under my rock and continue to smoke crack.

Twisted Sister said...

Jax, ^5 your mom and buy her a drink for us!

I think eventually everyone must fall, and with backing Obama and the "O factor", now is the time.

linda said...

The main reason I dislike Oprah so much is the complete blind devotion her millions of white minions give her. In their eyes she can do no wrong. They are sheep to the slaugther.

wtf said...

"I know all of you love Oprah and think she is the greatest person known to mankind."

No. Actually I hate her as much as she loves herself.

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

I have nevah understood Oprah's popularity. She makes me wanna hork on someone's Gucci's.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Let's be clear, ENT. I have never liked Oprah. In fact, I've thought she was Satan for about 10-15 years, beginning about the time she started her book club and put the screws to Jonathan Franzen for refusing to kiss her ass. Three cheers for Jonathan Franzen, BTW.

The Cult of Oprah is pure madness.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

I personally can't stand her

Rocky (Racquel) said...

I personally can't stand her

__-__=__ said...

Well at least she isn't out killing folks.

That's all I got.

Nikki said...

Not a huge fan of Oprah BUT…I laugh my ass off every time I read that someone has turned on Oprah since she showed her support for Obama (something she did well before he announced he would run for office). I hope Oprah now realizes she's a black woman before anything else in America.

If Oprah were a white male, people would be writing business books about her, not claiming “she thinks she's the second coming," or faulting her "loving herself" or my personal fav for "the complete blind devotion her millions of white minions give her". How dare this uppity Negro take her millions, start a book club, give away shit, own her own show, start a network, buy an estate, start a school in Africa(!), AND have the audacity to support a black man for president. Maybe you all can arrange a lynching.

legacygirl said...

I admire your courage ENT. I'm a freelance writer whose last article was about Oprah being so condescending to her audience and I'm still waiting for that "knock on the door". I use a pen name and I'm unlisted......You don't want to mess with Xenu or Oprah.

Simone said...

Oprah's new network should be called EGO.

This woman exhausts me, I'm no longer impressed with her.

GammaGirl said...

I can't stand Oprah.
I think the episode of "30 Rock" that parodies her habit of drawing out words is HILARIOUS!
Tracy:"What would I doooooooo?!"

Karen said...

My favorite is Mad TV when they do a parody of her and her head starts to spin and explodes if someone in the audience dares to disagrees with her!!

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