Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow's Hospital Visit


I have some theories about Gwyneth Paltrow's trip to the hospital. I think there are a few possible options, all of which I am sure will be disabused by Mr. Huvane as quick as he can hit send on an e-mail.

1. Shock at seeing Chris Martin - As long as it has been since they spent more than a day together, his sudden appearance at home set off a mild heart attack. OK. that is probably the least plausible reason, but it could have been related to it somehow as in she saw that he is quite possibly the only person to have paler skin than Gwyneth and so she was blinded by his paleness, fell down, bumped her head and suffered a concussion and couldn't regain her balance.

2. She had a miscarriage - I think this is probably the second most likely scenario. My guess is that she has been trying to get pregnant again and a miscarriage could necessitate the spending of the night in a hospital and the fact that she needed to be wheeled into the hospital.

3. She had been fasting - When she noticed that her post-Christmas weight had ballooned to 95 pounds she immediately went on the Cabbage Soup diet or some type of fasting equivalent and after two weeks of this finally passed out and was taken to the hospital. They gave her a piece of bread and she felt better and went home. Going with this train of thought, it is possible that she broke down and finally ate one Christmas cookie or some leftover candy from Halloween and her body went into some type of toxic shock from her eating that many calories at one sitting, thus the need for the hospital visit.

4. Publicity - Everyone has forgotten about Ms. Paltrow. She used to be on the covers of the tabloids each and every week and she may be wanting some of that attention that used to come her way. Now she has the opportunity to get at least a Kneepads Cover out of this little fiasco and possibly an appearance on the King Kneepad show as well talking about some type of stress or imagined malady or malaise that her husband and her career are helping her overcome. At the same time she can promote whatever the hell she is doing now and even give five seconds to her adoring husband to plug Coldplay's new album. He will be beside her during the interview on television and in the magazine interview will pop in holding the baby and going off to play with her like a good father. For the perfect example of how to play this little game, just read a copy of Elle with Victoria Beckham on the cover. Other celebrities should take lessons.

5. Drugs - Unless it is life threatening, celebrities try and avoid out in the open hospital situations for their drug issues. Not saying of course she has any. Just saying if she did, she wouldn't have been rolled into the hospital in a wheelchair like this. Hospitals leak like sieves. We would have already heard something if it was drug related.

21 comments:

Mooshki said...

The natural foods store that delivered a bag to her at the hospital did say that she was on a kind of fast, but they said it wouldn't have hospitalized her. Yeah right.

jax said...

miscarriage.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

What is up with her and Chris Martin? Is their marriage kaput?

lainiekazan said...

There's a nasty set of bugs going around NYC, pumping up hospital admissions and ER visits. One is MRSA (sp?), an intenstinal bug and the other is a respiratory virus. Both take 5-7 days to get through the worst and both spike fevers that are hard to shake. That may be what sent her to Mt. Sinai. Eitehr that, or she was frightened by a cookie.

Twisted Sister said...

MRSA now kills more people than AIDS does a year. You would think everyone would be warned about it.

GammaGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GammaGirl said...

Man I had a friend who got MRSA, that mess was AWFUL.
When my Dad was in the hospital last year, I got sick from one of the superbugs that run rampant in hospital settings. It was like the flu, but ten times worse.

I actually like Gwyneth so I hope she gets better soon!

Judi said...

Intestinal flu was what I was thinking. Yeah, sometimes it's that simple.

jax said...

could be..a guy i work with lost 15lbs in a week from it.

Bryn said...

Wow, hope it's not a miscarriage - very sad.

Anonymous said...

probably that flu that's going around. I had to take my grandfather to the ER a few weeks ago and almost everybody in there had that flu :(

Beth said...

I don't think it's a miscarriage. She did an interview last year with Access Hollywood or one of those shows and they asked her about more kids and she shot that one down HARD!! She was like "no, no, no!! Don't even say that or put that out there!!"

She doesn't want more kids. Hell, when would she have had time to get pregnant with Chris when they never see each other?

I'm going with the flu.

Alana said...

She's being treated for big-headed turd syndrome.
In her next press interview she regale us with her thoughts on the superiority of European Hospitals over American ones.

kitoko said...

even thought it is a serious topic, your comment is too funny Alana. MRSA stands for methecillin resistant staph aureous. It is like a staph infection, but can only be cured by IV vancomycin. My dad contracted it in the hospital (they said he brought it from home...yeah) in 2000 and it contributed to his death. I just watched se7ven the other day and think slumped in a wheelchair is better than how she ended up in that one.

Julie said...

do people go to the hospital for miscarriages necessarily?

I mean, I guess some you would, if you're anemic or something. But I have a clotting disorder and didn't when I had one. *shrug*

And isn't she on the cover of a magazine like InStyle or osmething right now?

Judi said...

Yes. Maybe someone can explain in medical terms but there is a need to make sure all is well inside you, and they'll want to run tests... to see why the fetus is no longer inside you. I just don't know how to explain it in a way that's acceptable for public consumption.
Another thought, since reading about Zac Efron having his appendix out today. When I walked into the hospital with appendicitis, I was hunched over and would have loved to be in a wheelchair. Maybe Gwen's appendix acted up.

Julie said...

*shrug* my health insurance wouldn't let me see a proper doctor until i was 12 weeks pregnant because its before viability.
I said "I want an hcg quantitive to possibly rule out pregnancy...you know this amennohrea and all..." and went from there.
I'm a high risk patient, unfortunately. So I wanted to get the ball rolling early. It takes 6 weeks to get an appt in the ATU (antenatal testing unit), and I didn't want to be 18 weeks...I'm glad I didn't wait that long. I was 20 weeks when I went into preterm.

But yeah, I guess in some cases, a D&C is necessary to get remaining bits or whatever. :\ I was just pretty early, so that wasn't necessary, I guess. (i'm talking about different pregnancies here, sorry for the massive jump to and fro)

But I really don't think she was having a miscarriage. Maybe its her gall bladder. thats a popular thing to go awry. Or a kidney infection. since she eats that macrobiotic shit, it could be anything :P Though, I'm somewhat intrigued by that.
I'm looking into the Body Ecology diet. Not because I'm fat, but because I need a new culinary lifestyle. I eat on the run, crap foods (though my kids eat like royalty. organic and everything lol)

Les Suckno For President said...

I think she was having a baby scraped out of her uterus.

Jesse D said...

Gross, les. Just gross. Maybe she has kidney stones. I just had those recently and maaaaan if anything will make you hunch over, it's kidney stones. *shudder*

gossiphound said...

maybe it was something connected to her knee surgery. sometimes you get staph from surgeries and have problems later.

selenakyle said...

Well, I'm probably reading WAY too much into every post lately (today) regarding poor Gwynnie, but could the coked-out actress accustomed to using in order to lose weight between films that a kid/baby might have seen her doing apply here...?

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