Friday, April 11, 2008

Ted C. Blind Item

Break out your umbrellas and stay out of the splash zone, Super Duper Cooper strikes again. Our sexed-out insiders are spilling about some other naughty boudoir behavior SDC has been up to besides becoming an Olympian at preorgasmic water sports, ugh.

Supes seems to like his female fans almost as much as he likes his steamy Hollywood girlfriends, and he treats both varieties of vixens with about the same amount of respect. The well-liked lothario scoops up the gals and spits 'em back out just as quickly, especially the ones who accidentally get knocked up 'cause of his encounters. Guy’s a low-down dawg, though his puppy puss makes him seem so much more innocent. Mr. Duper Cooper even marks his territory like man’s best four-legged pal: He’s been known to have his adoring fans line up against a wall, drop trou and go to town sniffing their derrieres like they were at the Laurel Canyon pooch park. Sounds kinda hot, but kinda gross. Don’t think this was just hazing for entry into the fan club—Cooper’s famous ex-flame was also privy to this way-too-personal inspection.

A bit too absurd for your prude tastes in titillation? We’re more confused than disgusted, since SDC also likes to throw on some gay porn while bedding his beauties. In fact, our too-close-for-comfort sources swear Duper’s desktop screensaver is none other than the male member, in its full pixilated 'n' engorged glory. Is this dude bisexual, or trying to cover up all the oft-blogged-about gay rumors by romancing so many willing ladies? Either way, he needs to be put on a leash before we turn back around to liking this lush lad.

31 comments:

missm said...

Finally a Ted C. I think we can solve - John Mayer, famous Ex is Jessica Simpson

Les Suckno For President said...
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Les Suckno For President said...
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KDF28 said...

Hmm, John Mayer is a good guess, but I'm going to guess Justin Timberlake.

Marisa said...

A few nights ago I dreamed that John Mayer was my boyfriend....no ass inspections involved.

Marisa said...

It's definitely John Mayer - there are two seperate rumors flying around: one that he likes to pee on chicks and two that he made Ms. Simpson get an abortion.

This blind combines the 2 and then some.

adrian said...

splash zone---def. John Mayer. Like Marisa said, he likes to pee on whoever he is with. Remember when hee was in Italy with Jessica? They had to throw out the mattress in the hotel room. She was "sick".

Amber said...

I'll agree with the Mayer guess.. if you make out with Perez, you'll do anything!

Ed said...

I was thinking Josh Hartnett with rhianna being the famous ex.

John Mayer is a great guess too.

What about Chace Crawford?

Trix said...

I'm goin' with Johnny boy!

Trix said...

Also, WHY is it so freakin' hard for people to believe, or acknowledge, that bisexuality is a very real possibility? Is it so hard? Is it really easier to believe that he'd fuck girls just for show, over and over, more than what was required to get gay rumors off his back, than the possibility that maybe he genuinely enjoys fucking both sexes? Obviously, if he loves golden showers, he's kinky enough to be genuinely bi.

Twisted Sister said...

He's written about Super Duper Cooper before - it's John Mayer.

Check out the previous blind here:

http://www.eonline.com/gossip/awful/blind/?uuid=e01d8af8-1d29-43d3-86bc-e0b2e5f5ac67

Jen said...

Its definately John Mayer...I think Ent had a blind about him watching gay porn while getting it on with Jessica Simpson.

smooches said...

I vote Justin Timberlake.

Soleil King said...

John Mayer. "becoming an Olympian at preorgasmic water sports", remember he run on a yacht or boat wearing a green thong?

RagDoll said...

Yeah, another vote for Mayer. This one hit me before I even saw you guys' responses, too, which is odd for me, b/c I'm no good at these.

unicorn jones said...

I'm going with mayer too -- although I thought that reference to the dirty sex he had w/ jessica simpson in rome was more of the solid (smelly) persuasion....


-uj

blooter said...

Gosh. Something does strike me as wrong about John Mayer. He's just got this disgusting hound dog look about him that amazingly, some girls seem to think makes him mysterious.

blooter said...

But I was thinking Chace Crawford as well actually. Though Mayer does make a lot of sense considering he's known to imbibe more than a fair share of alcohol, hence the "lush" comment.

jax said...

he's a f*cking douche.

Mooshki said...

Trix - I know, right? I don't get why so many people refuse to believe in bisexuality. Yes, bisexual men have tend to have more sex with other men, but that's because men are more promiscuous in general. (Although women are catching up fast.)

adrian said...

unicorn jones--I think it was probably a combo of every orifice.
Her dad must be sooooo proud.

janetagain said...

"blogged about gay roumours"

obviously john mayer. perez has been bragging about things going on at a club.

Zero said...

Adrian and unicorn, that theory would go along with the last Super Duper Cooper blind. Ugh.

I'm behind you guys on the John Mayer guess.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

He's going to be double disgusting when he gets old.

But he plays a mean guitar.

Judi said...

Mayer. He's never gotten any of my $ and never will.

iluvny said...

I think it's Derek Jeter. I've heard he's bisexual and picks up girls at bars and take them back to his place along with his buddies. He does it to cover he's gay which is why he dates female celebrity it girl of the moment. It's to throw off the gay rumors. Especially since the allege a yankee employee was fired because he said he caught Jeter and another player making out. He claims Jeter asked him if he wanted to join in.

p m said...

I'm totally reading Ray-J

DBF said...

Yes, Ted's previous SDC blind item was definitely John Mayer and this one supports it.

cinnarose said...

What about Owen Wilson? There was the blind about him a few years ago being the Butterscotch Stallion, and loving to lick/suck some woman's behind. Although I also like the John Mayer answer.

Kathryn said...
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