Thursday, April 10, 2008

That Sure Is A Lot Of Exclusives


Instead of celebrating whatever blackmail Pete Wentz has over Pimpa Joe to make Pimpa be thrilled that a guy who is just as likely to do a guy as Ashlee, the tabloids instead all worry about who had the exclusive. At least by my count, US Weekly, In Touch, and People are all claiming they had the exclusive about the couple getting married. That doesn't sound so exclusive. The only thing exclusive they did was be the first to the computer after they read the message on the friendsorenemies website.

I'm not sure what kind of exclusive that is. Does anyone really care about exclusives anymore? When I was growing up back in the dark ages before cable, people still read newspapers. I know, it is a foreign word to most of you, but they are these things that you often see on your hotel room doorstep in the morning. They have lots of words, not many photos and tend to get your hands dirty.

An exclusive back in the day meant something. A politician was stealing, the CIA killed someone in some country, the cops were profiting over a crack house. Who the f**k cares if you beat another website by 45 seconds to announce the engagement of a couple that half of the world doesn't even know exist? I really get a kick out of the engagement or wedding announcements that tabs breathlessly exclaim are exclusive and you are asking yourself who the couple is. "Oh, he was on the fourth season of The Real World and she is a waitress in Omaha." Well that surely is breathless worthy.

Do you think that is what sells more magazines or gets more hits to your website? The thing that sells magazines and gets more hits is if one of those tabloids had some exclusive about how Pimpa likes to bottom to Pete. That would sell some magazines and generate some hits to your website. And for damn sure it would be exclusive. And creepy, but that is beside the point.

How about just saying congratulations to Pete and Ashlee and hope it is a boy so you don't have to worry about grandpa being overly affectionate to the child. For the record, it appears that US Weekly announced the engagement first.

13 comments:

adrian said...

Why is his head so big?? and does anyone think they would have gotten engaged if she hadn't had all that work done???

jax said...

adrian i always though that was pretty funny that he said they were only friends when she was all over him and he was into Michelle Tratchenberg..then she bought a new nose and voila they are in lovvvve.

i hoe the impending baby has his head and her nose. ouch!

captivagrl said...

his entire look turns me off. fug.

Amber said...

So you think she's pregnant Ent?

canadachick said...

hey ent - i read newspapers - that's where i find out my horoscope duh LOL

DBF said...

I agree with captivagrl.

MonkeyHelperL said...

You know, perhaps it's just me but when I see these two and I think about them having a baby a song pops into my head. A song that goes a little like this:

"Mr. Potato Head, and his bucket o' parts. Buckets of fun for everyone."

sheetrock said...

Hey - I have an idea! They could do a reality show called "Pete and Ashlee - Newlyweds" and she could do her pathetic Irish jig on it.

Harriet Hellfire said...

"hope it is a boy" eh?

Anonymous said...

lol@irish jig.

adrian said...

I saw her in a mall the summer before the SNL fiasco. Her "band" was setting up to perform later on. She sat on her ass the whole time waving to these teenagers who were lined up for hours--this was probably 11:00 AM, & she wasn't set to "perform"--ie: lip-synch till about 6:00 PM. I didn't think she had a fan base, unless it was a bunch of unemployed teens with nothing better to do in the summer.
It's intersting how she just got that huge hideous tatoo, & now they are engaged.
Like Jax mentioned, they will have a big-headed, big-chinned/big nosed
baby.
At least Pete stopped sending out naked pictures of himself--yuck!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I too thought it real interesting that Pete started treating Ashlee a lot better when she got a new nose...

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Awww be nice youse guys. I think they're cute together. It'll be a match made in Emo Heaven.

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