Monday, April 07, 2008

Jennifer Lopez Does Something Brilliant


Look, am the first to admit that after marrying Marc Anthony I didn't think Jennifer Lopez was smarter than a first grader, let alone manage to ever be able to outwit Tom Cruise, but she has. According to reports Jennifer has convinced Skeletor to let Tom Cruise be the godfather to the twins she gave birth to sometime last month. I don't remember the date, but neither does she so we are even.

Notice first of all that the reports are that Tom is going to be named godfather, and not Katie and Tom are going to be godparents. That show you where that relationship is headed? So, what exactly does Jennifer Lopez get out of this? Well she gets a bunch of publicity which should keep her in the public eye longer than it should for a spiraling downward career. It will end up getting her a bunch of cash and prizes from whatever COS people are invited to the big christening or auditing or whatever is going to be done to the twins.

Plus, the good news is she will never have to see Tom Cruise again. Of course he will call their house everyday to remind them their dues need to be paid, but he will never see them again because they have kids. Tom doesn't like kids. He tolerates them and uses them, but his history suggests that the twins will not be seeing much of Uncle Tom in the upcoming years. Oh, for the first couple of birthdays he will show up and give them something useless and expensive that Jennifer will sell on e-bay, but for the most part he will never be back.

When he wants to go out with Jennifer and Marc they can say they need to stay in with the twins. It makes them look good for staying in and you know Tom won't want to go out with kids. The only way her plan backfires is if she doesn't pay something to her COS dues because otherwise one night the brakes go out on the Skeletor Mobile and suddenly Tom is rushing in to try and get the kids and add them to his growing new generation. I can just see Tom in his dungeon, sketching out possible family trees and who will rise to the top.

Nice one Jen. Now just get rid of Skeletor and try and save Katie all before the end of the movie. I know you can do it. You were a Fly Girl.

15 comments:

jlb said...

Wow has Katie changed - she looks so much better back whenever that picture was taken.

jax said...

before her soul was harvested.

Jokerista said...

But Ent, what if the Godfather wants the twins to have play dates with his daughter? How will JLo say no to that request? :-(

jlb said...

As well as any personality.

I'll bet Uncle Tommy has already reserved spots for the dragon tale twins at whichever COS school he's got his first two kids hidden at...allowed out for photo ops only.

Amber said...

I wonder if there are Scientology stand-up comedians out there? Now that would be something to see.

jax said...

"a hooker, a priest and Tom Cruise walk into a bar..."

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Guarantee we're not talking about a Catholic baptism here. There are too many divorces between Marc and JLo, not to mention the fact that you have to actually have Catholic godparents in a Catholic baptism.

captivagrl said...

jennifer is starting to look like marc.

MrsRhododendronson said...

Actually, only one godparent has to be Catholic for a Catholic baptism, and if none of the previous marriages were done in the Catholic church, then the divorces don't matter (or there could be annulments).
Having said all that, I somehow doubt Tommy Boy is going to take part in a Catholic ceremony. I wonder if his shoe lifts would protect him from the inevitable lightning strike....

Bad Ass Momma said...

The last line absolutely made my day

WTF said...

This is stupid. I don't remember Suri having a baptism so scientology must not have a ceremony and clearly JLo is a scientologist. Who does she think she's fooling?

jax said...

but El what we really want to hear is your take on Skelator buying her 2.6 million dollar earrings for pushin them babies out(of her C-section).

Jemtastic said...

This whole deal points to JLo actually being a member of COS and no longer a practicing Catholic. Do you think that Tom would agree to be godfather to twins that were baptized in a Catholic ceremony? I think Tom linking up with JLo is the COS's way of getting a foothold in the Latino community. We all know the COS can't be trusted, so I hope Jenny doesn't try and pull a fast one when it comes to promoting the church.

jax said...

oh i hope she does Angela..can you imagine the shit Anonymous would pull on her rotund ass??? gold!

Unknown said...

Looking at that photo, I can't help but wonder how short MA must be to make Tommy Boi look tall.

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