Monday, April 07, 2008

What Do You Think?


According to the NY Daily News, porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey was out and about in New York last night and was seen drinking a glass of wine. A waiter recognized her from Celebrity Rehab and promptly cut her off from any further wine drinking at the restaurant. Mary for her part said she is not drinking to excess and even bragged about being 37 days sober before drinking the wine.

Part of me says yay to the server who cut her off. She was probably embarrassed and humiliated and it may stop her from drinking in public and in private. But another part of me says that as long as she is only hurting herself it really is none of our business or the business of an establishment whether someone has a drink or not. Somehow I bet she was not the only one in the place that night who was drinking and had been to rehab, so just because she has been on a rehab show she gets banned, while everyone else gets to drink. When you check out of rehab should they give you a big red A that identifies you as an alcoholic and thus should not be served?

I want to make it clear that I think every place that serves booze needs to cut people off if they have had too much to drink and should also take away car keys if they insist on trying to leave. However, I'm not sure that anyone has the right to tell someone what they can or cannot put into their bodies, no matter how much they think they are just wanting to help.

Addicts need to help themselves, not to have others do it for them.

30 comments:

Khemenu said...

Don't most bartenders have a legal responsibility when it comes to serving alcohol?

Haven't there been cases where the bartender was determined to be culpable for DUI and other alcohol related crimes committed by people they served?

I know it's about cutting people off who are already drunk but if I was a bartender I wouldn't want to take the chance. Which is one of many reasons why I'm not a bartender...also I can't stand most people.

Khemenu said...

Also wanted to add that, me personally, I think people should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. That includes the freedom to fall off the wagon.

GladysKravitz said...

I agree with ENT. I hate to admit it, but I watched the Celebrity Rehab reunion the other night, and Mary Carey said on that show that she still drinks an occasional glass of wine or champagne. The other members and Dr. Pinsky spoke to her gently about it, but no one told her that she "couldn't" do it. It's just a huge threat to her sobriety.

It's not good for her recovery, but it's not up to any of us to tell anyone else what's good for them, until their actions start to effect us (i.e., drunk driving, abusive behavior, etc).

It's pretty outrageous that the waiter felt entitled to do that, considering, as ENT points out, it's likely that at least one other patron had been through rehab and was drinking--just not rehab on tv.

The legal requirement for bartenders and restaurants is that they can't let someone drive themselves home drunk. In NYC, it's unlikely she was driving, and even if she was, I doubt that a glass of wine was going to make her too drunk to drive.

Unknown said...

The bartender had no right to do that. Alcohol is legal and she was apparently not drunk. Drinking wine may be putting her sobriety in danger, but that is not the bartender's decision.

It's the same idea that I wouldn't want someone reaching over and pulling the cookie out of my mouth because I'm already fat.

Unknown said...

I just hope she can manage to stay away from all the nasty stuff, no matter how. When I watched Celebrity Rehab I was so touched when she was dancing again that it made me cry. She was so pure and whole in that moment. It is too bad that she is so easily influenced by others who want to corrupt her.

Anonymous said...

Well, as a human being, I think he did the right thing by him, but as a waiter, he was very unprofessional. I know that imbibing alcohol can be a threat to her sobriety, but part of overcoming your addictions, is having the strength and ability to tell yourself no. Completely denying yourself is an extreme you take because you cannot control yourself whatsoever. But if you CAN learn to control yourself, even after a glass of champagne, havent you won?

It IS her right to fall off the wagon...its just a damn shame thats all :(

Unknown said...

During the reunion show of celebrity rehab she stated she does have a glass of wine here and there with dinner, but does not do it to excess any longer. She feels she can control herself now and is in a better place.

It is possible to learn to control yourself. If she was dancing on tables and falling over herself then I could see cutting her off. But if she was simply enjoying a glass of wine the waiter was out of line. She is an adult, let her live her life.

Town Bike said...

If he was cutting her off because she was blind stinking drunk, no problem, that's happened to me before and (in Australia anyway) it's because they have a legal responsibility to do so.

If he was cutting her off purely because she's a recovering alcoholic, that's completely wrong as alcohol is a legal drug and as such it is the adult's responsibility to decide how they use and abuse it.

jax said...

i've known a few addicts in my day and some can drink a glass and have no problem if their issues were with drugs and not alcohol.
but it's not for everyone.

i'm a live and let live person up until it becomes enabling...so this is a weird situation. If it were one of her friends that would be ok,but a random waiter? ahhh helll no. if she were hammered yes, socially enjoying a beverage,nope.

Kristen S. said...

She can do whatever the hell she wants, keeping in mind her rights to do so end where my rights begin. In other words, if she hurts someone in a DUI accident, she's now infringed on someone else's right to life, liberty and property.

So, drink away, Mary! Just don't drive a car or any other type of machinery.

Unknown said...

Actually, according to the law (at least when I was a bartender back in Dallas, but I'm sure it holds true for most US states) the bartender could be held libel if she were to injure/kill someone after he had served her as she has a known habitual drinking problem. The law states that if a bartender is aware of a customer's habitual drinking problem and serves said customer anyway, he can be held legally libel. Legally (maybe not socially), the bartender was in the right here and was protecting himself and the establishment.

SHE SHE said...

If you're gonna go on t.v. w/ all your dirty laundry then John Q. Public will take note and sometimes react to that. The waiter thought he did the right thing. Big fuckin' deal. Now go home Mary, Get a bottle of Thunderbird and watch some of your porn movies.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

On a completely different level, why do porn stars always bleach their hair to within an inch of its life?

SHE SHE said...

To match their assholes?

RagDoll said...

Do I agree with it? No. It's not great business, either, but hey, that's the restaurant's problem.

Is it legal? I think so. Restaurants aren't "public" places, they're private businesses, and as such are allowed to refuse to serve anyone anything at any time. As long as you don't violate discrimination laws, which is: refuse someone service who is a member of a protected class, and refuse them based solely on their "membership" or whatever of said protected class, then this is legal. Stupid, but legal.

hunter said...

I agree with Ent 100%. Unless she is on her lips, it is not the business of the establishment to monitor her alcohol intake.

If she is over 21, she can drink as she likes, good or bad.

THIS IS THE U.S. of A. DANMNABIT!!!!

jax said...

LOL@sheetrock.
took the words outta my mouth.

Unknown said...

Mary Scary is a frickin skank and it would befitting if she got a nasty STD that made them have to amputate her vagina.

Rare Avis said...

You knew I would have something to say about this right?
Bartenders can be funny creatures deciding who they will serve and who they won't. But this is the first time I have heard of bartenders as the morality police as we are usually a bunch of drunks ourselves. My issues are with driving and walking. If you are driving then I won't overserve you. If you are walking, I don't want you doing the human pinball, bouncing off people and walls.

If that was my bartender, I honestly would have fired him. Cut someone off for any number of reasons, yes. This would have warrented walking papers in my book. The very last thing people need is Sergeant Buzzkill serving them cocktails.

Because you love it, her are some of people I have served right after they got out of rehab;
Keifer Sutherland, Kathleen Turner, David Hasselhoff, Melanie Griffith, Don Johnson, Senator Kennedy (entire bottle of white wine smuggled under the table). There are more, I just can't remeber because I was drunk.

jax said...

oooh looks like it's Troll season.

WTF said...

Since you have no way of actually knowing whether or not the person will be driving later that night or not, I wouldn't want the responsibility of serving a person known to have a problem with alcohol so I would have done the same thing.

Who knows if he saved a life or two??

Unknown said...

I would have served her methyl alcohol

Rare Avis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rare Avis said...

yes bartenders are legally responisble. WTF it is tricky the scenarios are endless. Someone is wasted comes in has 1 drink and I am responsible for all the previous ones they have had. I don't have issues about shutting people off. I have never had trouble. Later on that night, well, many things can happen.
Jax, troll?

jax said...

rare, i'd rather NOT point it out...keep em starving.

troll ie shit disturber, spammer, drama queen.

anna said...

lol @ sheetrock.

if what j richards says is true in nyc and the waiter is liable because mary carey is "known as a habitual drinker," then s/he should absolutely cut her off. and if she's driving she should be cut off.

but if she's having a glass of wine with her dinner? hell no -- in part because it's nobody's business (unless it affects others, see above), but also because there's no way a waiter denying her a glass of wine is going to have any affect on how or whether she treats her addiction.

if it is just the waiter being a busy-body, do you think s/he would have done it to daniel baldwin, that singer guy or any of the other men on the show? my guess is not.

ChasingHeaven said...

Ok, so first we're disgusted that no one stopped the Meth head but now we're disgusted someone stepped up and tried to help keep an alcoholic sober? I'm not faulting a bartender because s/he gave a damn. Maybe if more people gave a damn about her in the first place she wouldn't have wound up a porn star addict. Rehab is for people that aren't capable of helping themselves, clearly she needs the help.

sed8ed said...

high fives on the amusement factor. if a person is tacky enough to air their sobriety problems on a reality show then the ultimate interaction and perhaps compliment is to be taken seriously enough to have a server refuse to serve.

Unknown said...

Personally, I think it's fine and dandy that the waiter said "Hey, no more wine for you, ya little ol' lush" but then again I've never had an alcoholic beverage in my life and fail to see the appeal so I'm hella biased.

Besides, if no one had said a word and she'd kept on drinking and gotten into a car and killed/maimed/injured herself/someone else, everyone would be going ape about "how could no one have stopped her?!"

sauvage said...

I agree with the waiter. Knowing she had been an alcoholic I think he did something really responsible. One glass of wine is not a problem. The problem is that often that one glass of wine is followed by another, and so on. Also, this particular one glass of wine can reactivate the addicition, so...

There was this rather spectaciular and much discussed case in Germany a few years back, when a very popular alcoholic whose alcoholism was common knowledge, Harald Juhnke, who had been dry for quite a time, ran into a bar and ordered somethin alcoholic. When he got served, he asked the bartender: "Don't you know who I am?". He wanted to be stopped. But he wans't. Instead he got completely wasted and relapsed. He died a few years later suffering from dementia.
So, from my point of view: Power to the bartender!

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