Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I Just Can't Do It

No matter how much a fan I am of train wrecks, I just can't seem to make myself actually press the button which will allow the sounds of Jessica Simpson's new song to hit my ears. I honestly think I would prefer listening to one of Michael Lohan's sermons than listening to Jessica Simpson sing country. Oh, I think it will sell ok. I mean she does have a marketing genius for a father. Oh, I still abhor him, but he is good at what he does. I just don't like to think too far beyond the basics when it comes to him.

The whole Tony Romo thing is great marketing. The whole maybe she sleeps with everyone and maybe she doesn't thing is good stuff. She sells sex well, and with her dad feeding her lines, she even makes it sound like country is where she has always wanted to be.

"I grew up in Texas, and country music was what I listened to. I always wanted to make a country album, but I wanted to wait until the time was right."

The fact that when she was breaking out in pop that she always said she listened to pop music growing up is probably just a misquote. And as I've said before, if anyone had actually bought her last album, the time for country still wouldn't have happened. But she'll be out at the county fairs this summer, faking smiles and wearing those daisy dukes while dad hopes for a down blouse photo that he can sell to the tabs to pick up some pocket change. With all that being said, I still just can't c-l-i-c-k.


22 comments:

notachance said...

Ok, so I did it for you....

The song itself is ok, I just can't wrap my head around her being the one singing it. Once a pop-tart, always a pop-tart....

Alice D Millionaire said...

I kind of want something good to happen to this woman so I can't bring myself to slam her new song.

Her dad is such a freak...I hope Tony Romo helps her draw the line in the sand.

She seems like good people just a little dim.

Alice D Millionaire said...

I kind of want something good to happen to this woman so I can't bring myself to slam her new song.

Her dad is such a freak...I hope Tony Romo helps her draw the line in the sand.

She seems like good people just a little dim.

Maja With a J said...

I think her voice lends itself well to this kind of music, which I refuse to call "country". It's just really bad pop with syntesized slide guitar wah's in the background.

I think she would be even better if she had the guts to put out some slow, teary, drawlin' Texas country...

Alice D Millionaire said...

dang sorry about the double post

jax said...

i can't hate Jessica. i can't think of one thing she's done that would make me hate her.
Ashlee yes, her no.

SkittleKitty said...

She's always had a good voice. It's a mediocre song, though. If she can get away from daddy-dearest, I think she has a shot at some renewed success. Too bad she's not very smart, though. She'll always screw up if she cannot at least gain some independence and a modicum of common sense.

Kristen S. said...

Snoozer...nothing new or original here. Same-old-same-old.

lutefisk said...

I still don't understand why she had to remain a virgim till marriage, but Ashlee was pregnant pre-marriage. Why the double standard? Ans where is their mother--you just hear about the perv dad.

Lulu said...

she gets alot of heat because her rise to fame was when she sold the public on true love & marriage and then up and left her seemingly devoted husband

they should get back together--

J. said...

Wow - that was terrible. I actually thought she might fit into this pop-country genre and come up with something Shania Twain-y/catchy. But that song just annoyed the crap out of me!

Moosefan said...

OKay, so no, I will not wish her any ill will, her Dad-his ass is fair game. Why is so into the money that his daughters make? Is his ass just broke, does he have a dope/high heel/hookers of the month club that has really high monthly dues? These girls have made enough money that investing right, they and their children should be set. I hope Pete gets Ashley away from him. Yeah, there will be the "Proud Papa Joe with the grandbaby" pics that People Mag will scoop up, but really-Tony Romo better make sure his little Cowboy is double wrapped because if he knocks her up, Lawd knows he will become the next ATM at the Simpson house.

anna said...

yeah, i can't muster up any dislike for her either -- she just seems to have been manipulated by her dad, who is plain old creeepy.

i wouldn't want her back with nick, either -- he was such a condescending prick with her and she needed out of that relationship -- too bad that the consequent ones haven't been so good either (was there any truth to that rumor that mayer got her pregnant then pressured her to have an abortion?)

and what's up with the handbag on her album cover? it looks an ad for ross.

joe*to*hell said...

you cant call joe simpson a marketing genius

lucky, maybe, because of newlyweds, but neither kid has done well for years. that makes him a marketing loser actually

what is eight past six? said...

The "right" time would have been a two years ago, before Kellie Pickler beat her to the punch. The song isn't bad but sounds like a leftover from Pickler's album, and does country really need two adorably ditzy blondes? I think that is one ditz too many. And Carrie has her beat out on sheer vocals, so she loses there, too.

I agree that she should have gone all out and done an old-country album. A throwback to Patsy Cline or Loretta Lynn, something like that. She would have gotten a whole bunch of bonus points for really 'knowing her stuff' then.

She needs to get away from her dad, but she doesn't seem to have the willpower or the brains to know or do that, so I'm not holding my breath for it. I can't help but feel sorry for her.

what is eight past six? said...

"you cant call joe simpson a marketing genius

lucky, maybe, because of newlyweds, but neither kid has done well for years."

I think in the very beginning, when he positioned her as the 'pure' answer to Brit and Xtina, that was actually pretty smart. It differentiated her from the other teen knockoffs. But there is not a thing pure or holy about Joe so he didn't stick with that and everything post-Newlyweds quickly went to hell in a handbasket.

And lmao at that Fantasia icon.

Unknown said...

Sounds alright. Not my kind of music at ALL, but if it wasn't Jessica it would do quite well. Because it IS her, way too many people want to see her fail, so she will.

Shame really. I've always liked the girl. Too dumb to be of any harm (ie like Whorehan & such.)

Moonmaid said...

That picture is creepy, but the song sounds pretty good for that Nashvegas country style.

I think this is probably the right direction for her. She should ditch the dad and get a new manager, though.

Happydog said...

Very screechy, if you ask me.

Emily said...

i couldn't do it either. and never will

Rare Avis said...

I kinda like it, happydog I agree, she does better with a little more bass and a little less treble, to quote another famous Texan.

PeepStone said...

bippy - ha! it does look like an ad for Ross!

Advertisement

Popular Posts from the last 30 days